Are We Overly Freaked Out by Uncleanliness?
ritaweeda
5 years ago
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gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
5 years agoDawnInCal
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoRelated Discussions
Burglaries- freaked out!
Comments (44)We have been having a number of car burglaries and home burglaries in our area. About two months ago, I was babysitting my grandson in my home. It was about 1:30, he was asleep in the closest bedroom to the family room. My dogs were in there and I was in my laundry room off the breakfast area. Amos barked and I came out to "hush" him so that he wouldn't wake Asher but I didn't actually go to see what he was barking at. I returned to the laundry room and about 2 minutes later I heard this very loud knocking on the front door. No doorbell, just loud knocking that went on and on. Of course the dogs both started barking and went to the front door. Asher started crying so I was ticked. I went to the door but didn't open it - I have glass on both sides so I could see out through the sheer curtains. The guy, kinda scruffy looking and in his 20's asked for Michelle. I told him that no one by that name lived here. The dogs were still barking and so he said he would back up - he then glanced at what I think was our house number and then said - I was looking for _______, a part reversal of our house number and asked if there was such a number on our street. I said No very sternly and he turned and walked away. I then noticed that his car was parked in front of our driveway and the driver door was open. I got a good look at the car and just thought something wasn't right about the whole situation. By this time my grandson was not happy and neither was I. A couple hours later I saw a police car going down our street. My grandson and I walked down the street and I could tell that the house three doors down had the front door off the hinges. I told the policewoman what happened at my house and she said I was very lucky that I had gone to the door. My description of events was exactly what the burglars do - they knock loudly so that if someone is home, you will hear them and answer. Then they make up a story and leave. If you don't answer - they kick in the front door - go directly to the bedrooms (which the closest was the one the baby was in), look for purses, money, jewerly, and drugs. They put stuff in your pillowcases and are in and out in just a few minutes. I was able to give a good description of the guy and car. I think he was caught a couple weeks later from what a neighbor saw happening on his way home for lunch one day but I was never asked to ID anyone. Of course we are still having home breakins so I know there is more than one doing this. What is really scary is that I had just been in another one of the bedrooms watching my one soap opera with my dogs and had just left to check on the laundry. I don't think my dogs would have heard him the first time, maybe the loud knocking but I probably wouldn't have with the door closed and TV on. BTW, when he left the neighbors house, he set the door back up so you couldn't tell from the street. He didn't get anything of value - only costume jewerly. The police said that if there is a car parked outside, it doesn't necessarily stop them - if someone doesn't answer the door and barking dogs don't either. They just kick the dogs aside or let them out the door. Scary to think this is happening in mid day and so brazen that it happens more than once in a single neighborhood. I make sure I go check on what the dogs bark at now and I leave my 62" TV on while Asher is sleeping - on mute but still its visible from the front door....See MoreAre we OK w/our deck situation?
Comments (28)Sorry millwork4u and marven and aidan_m and weedyacres: we have not been back for a spell trying to deal with everyone's input and our builder, who was away on Kauai while we waited for our permit changes to be approved. (Long story short: our cottage was bought by us and it was termite-infested. We tried to remove and replace bad wood ourselves but it was way beyond us. We tried numerous carpenters and others who were called builders. We knew we needed better help and hired a draftsman. He was unable to back up his own work when we asked him things like: will this roof be safe? Instead, always deferring us to 'your structural engineer', as though we had one, which we did not. We hired one and he was very shady and would not give us a firm estimate for his services, instead taking $100 cash from my wife when she met him at the property and disappearing never to return calls/emails. Frustrated with draftsman, I called several local architects I found in online yellow pages and one told me to contact my current builder. I did this and he proposed a builder/design 'package' where his father was draftsman and he builder. We visited one of his job sites and spoke to two of his references. He seemed earnest, young, willing to get his hands dirty, and affordable. He told us he had a HI contractor's license but to save us $s he'd knock 15% off the job if we were owner/builder instead of 'putting job on his license'. He poo poo'd the license thing as a technicality and we were too ignorant to know better. Since then we have discovered how stupid we are. In any event, he proposed a building envelope solution including rebuilding all decks, stairs, reframing house as 'double-wall' (was single-wall), new roof, new foundation, doors, windows, siding and paint: $28k labor + materials. It sounded reasonable to us. The photos shown in above threads are of the cottage after it was sided and windows/doors put in. The decking is a combination of a replacement of the old and some new. Since we first started with this builder things were weird. He took our money and then didn't show up for work until several days after he told us he would. He didn't do work, like he said he would, and instead hired it out to two other guys. He was never really on the job site much. But, the tear-down condition cottage was being transformed. The problems are many. He never shows up when he says he will and the word is done when we least expect it. Interior framing done in like a day with no discussion about the plans. Things that we could not easily change were hastily done without telling us in advance. The lack of flashing on the deck ledgers is an example of this. The first post or query about this man's work we have ever done is this thread. By the time I had posted it, we had agreed to expand the job from the original $28k to $53k to $59k. This was all done as progression after we saw one thing we'd add another. We agreed to almost all of this before I made this thread. Both my wife and I were unhappy with this man's 'bedside manner' but we didn't (and don't) think he is a vindictive or nasty person. Immature, a bit of a cheat, a liar yes. We have had our rage over his lack of communication and failure to meet expectations, but having had such difficulty even finding people who will do a day's work at all on this island has not been easy. One builder friend of ours, who is retired, warned us that "all contractors are thieves". We knew going into this there would be bumps, and there are many. Fast-forwarding to now. The wood supplier, Miyake Concrete, insists the hi-bor is pressure-treated and correct for our deck. I have read the PDF and see where it states the exact opposite. Our permit came though just over a week ago. Our builder was totally MIA the whole five weeks we had to stop work. We were furious that in all that time he could not spend any with us to plan. So, he is back on property rushing, laying off for days on end, then rushing again. My wife and I tried a new tactic when he met us the Saturday before the Monday he was to begin work, two weeks ago. She wanted to ask him about the workmanship that all of you have so kindly told us was not so hot. She told me to shut up and play the nice guy, so that she could press him and if he freaked out, it was my job to keep him from walking. Because he has our job structured in three phases, with some things done to varying degrees on each, and payments and material invested in all, it is very difficult for us to delineate where we stand and just 'stop' and fire him. I guess that's the reason for my long-winded post right now. For context. In any event: we were trying to put the screws to him about his work quality and material choice, while at the same time keep things from getting too nasty as we don't have an easy way to unravel this. (We estimate another two weeks before the house is enclosed and we are able to get a final bill and lien release.) Well it didn't go too well. When asked about the lack of flashing he told us much would be under roof and that flashing wasn't required. We read a PDF on deck building from decks.com that showed flashing as IBC required. Also, we read that 6x6 posts were required. He told us there was more than one way to build a deck and that he chose the method he had done and that he was insulted at my wife questioning him. She asked him if that meant she should just shut up and he backed own, but I have to confess it wasn't a good feeling sitting there as this guy told my wife how wrong she was for asking him about his work. When she pointed out the way the beams were nailed together he asked her, sarcastically, if she was complaining about the 'toenailing', and said this was common practice. In short, everything everyone said here he told us was wrong. We felt like to wet poodles after that meeting. We did not want to print this post out and throw it in his face because, honestly, we are afraid he will leave us with a yard full of lumber and a job 3/4 finished and no easy replacement help in sight. The predators will smell blood if we try to replace him, we think. Meanwhile, the work has continued and there is talk that he will put "L" flashing on the exposed part of the deck. We have paid him to enclose the other part of the deck, so it won't get ruined as a result of the lack of flashing there, we hope. (The enclosure is what we always wanted. He is doing it cheaply, and while we hate giving him and his father more of our money, his father redid the drawings and brought them into the county, and he has done the work seemingly well, although while abusing us in the process.) We just don't know what to do. On one hand, this are getting done and seem to look okay, on the other, it is a horrible relationship and the quality of the work we just don't know. You all have given us your best insights. We have tried to discuss them with our contractor. He has slapped me the entire way, and I am hardly proud of it. I just don't know what else to do but to get his portion of the job done asap and be rid of him. Yes, I know we gave him more work. My wife and I both hated to do it. But we would have wasted all the material and money for labor to put in railings and arbor in place of walls and roof. It was a difficult call....See MoreColor help needed - I'm ready to tear my hair out!
Comments (19)Thanks for your suggestions, everyone. I think you're correct that using a mix of colors and textures will make both of us happy. DH has agreed to a different color island, but doesn't like the look of painted uppers with stained lowers. He says it's "trendy and weird." I don't understand his logic, but whatever. I am so FRUSTRATED because he cares what the kitchen looks like but doesn't offer many suggestions of his own. He says I can do "whatever," but wants veto power over anything he really hates. Which is pretty much anything that strays from what's on our builder's website. I've decided that I can no longer look at photos of any kitchens with white; it makes me sad. I'm looking for inspiration from stained kitchens that I DO like. So, here's what DH & I can agree on: - a wood species with a very subtle grain - DONE - simple cabinet design without a lot of ornamentation - DONE - a medium or dark stain that doesn't have strong red or yellow undertones - getting there - a light, subtle granite that doesn't hog the spotlight - considering Giallo Ornamental, which should meet that need - a wood floor that contrasts with the cabinets - getting there - doing something very geometric with the backsplash - painted island - still undecided. I love the idea in theory, but I need to figure out how to integrate it with the rest of the design. I'd love tips on how to do this. Would it be accurate to say that given all our neutral choices, the backsplash needs to be the star? In case you're wondering, DH is making concessions, too. Our compromise is that I'll concede quite a bit on the kitchen, but I get full reign to do pretty much whatever I like in the bathrooms. Two of the three bathrooms WILL have white cabinets. :)...See MoreMay 2019, Week 2, Are We Gonna Need A Bigger Boat?
Comments (57)Our heater came on last night, Jennifer, and this morning. Oh you have dresses, don't you? Of course you do. LOL The strawberries at school are stretching up, too. I ran in this morning to see how things looked (wet in the low spot, but great everywhere else. And then back here to mow, and then weeded a bit. But on days that I mow, I mostly don't do a lot of other stuff. And sometimes NOTHING else. Garry had to get under the deck and put a cinder block under the steps supporting beam, as the steps had sunk some on one side. That was just about an all day project. Now we need to go get a couple pieces of lattice. And I need him to get the deck power-washed so I can get to painting. I am shocked--rain tonight and in the morning? Wow. I had a BUNCH of petunias coming up in the wheelbarrow. This morning I noticed they were all stripped to the stems. What is odd is that I have larger petunias in many other containers and they are untouched. I sure hope they STAY untouched! Do any of you have any idea what could have stripped those? It was a great day for mowing, but every time I went out just to sit, too chilly, so then I'd have to go walk around. There's not much action in terms of color. Stuff is happening very slowly. Verbena bonariensis, spider wort, hollyhock zebrinas are filling in, and the nicotiana, petunias, astilbes, and rose campion are JUST beginning. The hydrangeas are enormous, but taking their sweet time to bloom. Since they've been here (this is their fifth year), this is the latest they've been; usually by now they're in full bloom. I'm kinda liking this. I was looking at photos from 2 yrs ago. We are a couple weeks behind we were then. All's good out in the vegetable beds. I am a little freaked out with the flower beds. Remember, I panted SO many things last year. Sort of knew this could happen. . . . I see stuff coming up. Not remembering what I planted. Being fairly certain what's weeds and what's not. BUT just because I realize something is not a weed, doesn't really mean I have any idea what it is! There's a clumping plant out there--an obvious member of the mint faily (wow! Way to narrow it down, right? LOL) But it has no scent whatsoever. Rule out most herbs, right? The tiny worrisome part is that it is also sprouting in the veggie raised beds. . . What did you do now, Nancy! I know I have hyssop out there, several basils, but what else, no idea. No excuse for being in this position. Oh, wait. I have a list of stuff I planted out there in all the beds. I will have to retrieve and figure it out maybe. THIS year I was very careful to plant the labels with the plants. And then got the green beans mixed up with the okra, and now I'm not sure which is which. No matter--they're in styrofoam cups. I expect they'll let me know who is who. I soaked them all first, so they're sprouting up in record time--like 3 day was the earliest. I had ordered five aster tataricus from this obscure (obscure to US in OK--might be famous as all get-out in northern CA) nursery called Digging Dog Nursery. I ordered them in February. When I researched them and searched for sellers, this was the first one I found after much time looking. So it was a complete crap shoot. Then my debit card had a couple unathorized charges in Feb/March, so ordered a new one. Got an email from DD that my number didn't work; didn't see the email until maybe 7-10 days after they sent it. So called them frantically with new number. Then nothing.. . . 7-10 days later, got a voice mail from them saying perhaps they got the number wrong, could I call them. Well it was in the middle of a bunch of other stuff--plants for the school, phone calls from church people, and some family stuff. I totally forgot. But when the plant didn't arrive about when they should have, I called the nursery and wondered what the status was. She reminded me she'd left me a voice mail. I tell ya, friends, I am losing it!! BUT!! My plants arrived two days ago. They look healthy and perky. Do you all remember when I SO wanted my burn weed (which Jason identified correctly, of course) to be the aster tataricus. Well. At least the burn weed led me to the aster. I'm excited to see how it does. https://www.finegardening.com/plant/tatarian-aster-aster-tataricus Isn't it a riot to see the pains we all go through to get the plant of our dreams!! And of course, it's a toss of the dice....See Morelucillle
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