That's so sad. Sad too that you weren't notified by someone of his passing.

I send out a lot of cards to kters that aren't in the card exchanges anymore. Every once in awhile I get one back, and wonder why. Thinking maybe they had passed. I also have to visit our empty chairs page to keep my list updated.

When my father died, I had his mail forwarded to my house. About February, a bedraggled Christmas card arrived for him. I didn't know the sender, but since they took the time to send him a card, i wanted them to know. I wrote a note to the return address and included a copy of his obituary. She wrote back, turned out she had been a coworker. She wouldn't have known otherwise.

When my husband died, I let everyone know that I could, all his relatives, former co-workers, friends, neighbors. i phoned most, sent letters to the others. Yes, hand-written letters, not a line on a Christmas card. There was one exception, his ex-wife, they were ,married only a couple of years, before we met, had no kids. I also disposed pf their wedding pictures. Guess I was trying to re-write history.

that's a very shocking way to find out that a relative passed. so sorry you had to find out that way, that makes me sad. i wish there was another relative or someone that would have notified you.

so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry....and sorry you had to find out that way. Makes me think...I have a

couple of great Uncles still living out of State(I think)....and that could happen to me. I

used to keep in touch with one of their sons, but he passed two years ago. And,

I'm not sure there is anyone left that would or could notify me. I am sorry.

I found that out about a friend I'd known for years. We met at a temporary job and she was my boss and we kept in touch for years since we liked each other so much. After we moved from the area and after a few years we only communicated a couple of times a year. I got a letter from her husband shortly after Christmas (I had sent a card not knowing.) He apologized, she had passed in August. I was not only devastated about her passing but so upset that I had sent a "Merry Christmas" card not knowing about it. He said he was just so broken that he didn't think of a lot of people to break the news. My number of cards has diminished quite a bit over the last few years, attrition and just the cost of sending them. Can't blame people on fixed incomes for not doing it anymore. Since the cost of stamps is going up now, I might stop doing it myself, too. A lot of people say they keep in touch by FB or other online means now, so it's just a different world now.

Christmas cards are a good way to find out if someone has moved too.

I am sorry you found out a friend died by sending a card tho...

jemdandy, that is not a pleasant way to find that your cousin has passed. I am sorry for your loss.

After my brother died a few years ago I joined Facebook to stay in touch with some of my cousins. I feel a need to have a link to some family ... even if they are extended.

Oddly timely, jemdandy -- this exact thing happened a few days ago for my husband -- a Christmas card he sent to a cousin that he has sent cards to for decades came back "addressee unknown" (not "deceased"). He, too, went online and found her obituary -- from October this year. A shock, as he had been in touch with her this past summer.

Sorry for your loss.

I think our contact with extended family has changed over the years; even with all the social media possibilities I think many of us have lost or never gained touch with family outside our inner circles. That was one thing that occurred to me after my mother died last year as she was the one who kept up with everyone.

I have such good intentions to send Christmas cards every year, but can't seem to get to them anymore. I had hoped to get a mailing list put on an Excel page, and then merged to make it possible to print out address stickers. I'm still hoping to have a go at it as I feel strongly I need to keep up with relatives I don't see.

Jemdandy, I'm sorry about your cousin and the way you had to learn about her. It IS lonely to be one of the last of your relative peers left--I watched Mom go through that.

I send Christmas cards every year, but the number sent has dwindled quite a lot over the years. So many friends and kin have passed. I don't have Internet or cell service at home, so I still enjoy writing letters.

I've been very negligent the past 5-6 years and not sent out cards. I do love receiving them, but now have been dropped from many people's card lists (rightly so - no complaints). I did not get a card from a 90+ year old cousin in Houston this year. No obituary in the Houston Chronicle but who knows. He was one of the last of my first cousins on my father's side of the family. There were two more living as of a few years ago, but I never had much contact with them. My father was one of 10, my mother was one of 6. I was the youngest on both sides of the family, in some cases by many, many years as my father was the youngest and had me when he was almost 42. I have two cousins left on my mother's side. Funny that so few are left from such big families. Some never married, some never had children.

Jemdandy sorry about your cousin. I get very few cards compared to in the past. I enjoyed the ones that included a sort of newsletter about everyone in the family.

Sorry for you loss. That's a sad way to find out.

I agree that was unexpected and probably a shock. Sorry for the loss.