Can you change to the day shift?

No. I prefer nights and see no reason to switch to a different shift because some people are too dense or inconsiderate to realize that I need sleep just like they do. I have been working nights since I was 18 years old. Surely that is long enough for people to get it???

ETA: I HATE day shift,though I do work some when the day people call in sick or go on vacation. I am a certified,verified night owl. I don't call or text the day shift people at midnight when I know they have to get up at 3 am.....

I used to work nights when I first became a nurse. Next door neighbors had their car parked next to my bedroom window and used to blast music from it and work on it when I was trying to sleep. I even asked them to please not do that and tried to explain why. Didn't do any good. People don't care as long as it doesn't affect them. Same working dayshift and idiots in the neighborhood shooting off fireworks all night long. Not everyone works Monday-Friday.

People who sleep where their phone can disturb them--will be disturbed. Get yourself an alarm. Park the phone in the other room. EASY FIX.

Okay. Maybe I didn't make myself entirely clear. SO is a truck driver. If his truck breaks down,which it has, I might have to go get him,which I have. My job is semi on call. I have been called in early numerous times this past year,at least 20 times. That is why my phone stays with me. Everyone,and I do mean everyone who can get through the do not disturb setting on my phone knows that I work nights and have for years. Especially my friggin boss,of all people. So therefore,common courtesy dictates that unless I am truly needed,not to call or text during the day. Just as it is common courtesy not to call or text people who keep day hours in the middle of the night unless it's an emergency. But,as I said before,that is dismissed by others. Its not THEIR fault for being inconsiderate donkeys. It's my fault for being a night shift working deviant I suppose.

Is your husband an independent truck driver? Most company fleets will rescue the driver when needed. That relieves you from that duty.

Start calling your boss at 3 AM.

Yes. He is an owner operator. The company his truck is leased to will help him get a tow truck to get his truck to a shop. They will not go pick him up and bring him home from wherever his truck is. If they would,he would never call and wake me up.

Can't you keep your phone in another room where you would hear the ringer from your significant other, but not disturbed by a text ding ? It's impossible to be available 24/7, but not be disturbed 24/7.

Just ask your boss to email on matters that are not urgent. He respects you enough to want you to fill in for him on his job. It may be that his texting was inconsiderate but his response 'why did you answer if you were sleeping' appears to show the expectation that you would not wake up for a text.

It does appear that there is something to work with here, and if you specifically request emails for non urgent matters he might do that.

I can see why you are upset, and yes, maybe he should have known better, and yes people in general are probably not very considerate of night workers, but if he is amenable to change there is hope for a better future.

The point is to have the phone where I can hear it IN CASE I AM REALLY NEEDED! That is why I have them on my do not disturb exceptions. My phone will not ring unless it's someone who may have a LEGITIMATE reason to wake me up... They just don't care. This is frustrating me. I shouldn't have to switch shifts,turn my phone off or leave it in another room when the people who can reach me ON CASE I AM NEEDED are AWARE of my schedule. People who work normal hours don't have to do that to get common respect. If I called my sister at 1 am,it had better be an emergency. I don't think my boss would appreciate a 2 am text to ask something that can wait until he reads his email in the morning......

Maybe someone who understands what I am ranting about can help me express it better? I'm not really looking for advice. I have done all I can do to minimize disturbance. But no one has any respect for my shift. I was looking to vent i suppose....

But whatever. I'm weird. I work a weird shift,so it's okay for people to treat me as if my work or my sleep needs are irrelevant....

Off to bed with fingers crossed...

Lucille, he told me " well,I just didn't think about it i guess... " I don't know how to take that. I have worked with him for many years,ever since he was the day person to my nightshift,before he was my boss. You would think he would KNOW that...

Thus the source of my frustration, no one really respects us... Not really.

If you want to vent, you have my sympathy. If you actually want to sleep, I think a direct request to your boss to please email non urgent matters might accomplish that.

I'm really surprised that your boss of all people, did that. He knows what your hours are. I'd be darned tempted to call him on your break, and wake him up with a non-urgent question. Tit for tat.

I worked 11-7 for several years when I was younger. I quite enjoyed it.

People in general are inconsiderate. My newspaper delivery man delivers our paper around 3:30 a.m. He's quiet as a mouse getting in and out of his car and leaving. I've seen him, at times when I couldn't sleep, or when hubby and I were coming home from doing a music gig.

OTOH the idiot that delivers one lone paper to the bldg across the street has his music cranked on his car, leaves the car door open, music blaring as he walks up the sidewalk to leave the paper and then leaves. Again, this is in the middle of the night. That one will wake me out of a sleep.

Amy Lou, I sleep with my phone beside my bed because I am on call for work and similar family issues and you have my sympathies. People are clueless.

I accept cluelessness from family, as in my west coast family, who could be calling with family emergency. I don’t accept it from work, as in if you call or text during my unscheduled time it damn well better be a crisis. You need to remind your boss of how to treat his employees with respect. He should not have texted such trivial things, and he most certainly should not have blamed you for answering. He sounds like a right arse.

I do relate. 12 hour shifts.....that rotated nights to days every 4 weeks in my case. Then a 90 minute commute each way. But....man....I was sleep deprived! Also....people thought since I had 4 days off....it wasn't like I worked a REAL job.....lol

I know you are just venting, so no advice here. But, I have to say I am amazed by anyone who can do a night shift.

Yikes! I am sorry you have such thoughtless people in your life. You are very considerate of others and would like them to be considerate of you. I think what happens to you points out the lack of empathy and compassion that abounds in our society. All you are asking is that they remember that you, just you and not 5 or 6 other people too, shouldn't be texted or called during a certain time. How hard can that be? Geesh.

I, for one, have always been in awe of anyone who can work a 12 hour shift and doubly in awe if that is happening through the night hours. I know I could not do that and you have my complete and utter respect for taking that on. Many times I have sat next to a hospital bed and watched the staff caring for patients through the night and I always thanked them for being there.

I hope things get better for you. Peace

Yes, people just don't get it. I worked night shift for about a year in college and there were constant interruptions to sleep. I eventually quit due to that, plus the fact that I am just not a night owl. I never could get used to it.

This isn't the same, but I have just about given up trying to take a nap in the afternoon because apparently it is everyone's cue to call or knock on my door.

I have a couple people, including one near death, about whom I could be called from a strange phone number, so I understand having to have the phone nearby and on at all times.

Somewhere out there, someone had made a phone app that that you turn on and the app auto replies by text, "Amylou is sleeping right now. Can this message wait? If it is an emergency, send it again and I will wake her up."

And if there isn't such an app, it's a goldmine waiting to be discovered.

Sounds like me trying to grab a nap during the day. I can’t turn my phone off because of my elderly mother. She has no idea about texting. It seems like the minute my head hits the pillow every suburban noise starts — leaf blowers, lawn mowers, barking dogs etc. It’s almost funny. Sorry your sleep was interrupted. It is a precious commodity!

Graywings - brilliant idea!

I can sympathize. I worked night shift when I was in college and never felt rested. Though phone calls weren't a problem, other noises during the day such as children playing, street noise bothered me. Never could get used to ear plugs or get the room dark enough. I am not a night owl.

I'm sorry you have to put up with that. I had a boss who called me at night, on weekends, while on vacation and once when I was on my way to my father's funeral. Although, I will say that she never called me in the middle of the night while I was sleeping.

She'd also stop me to discuss some trivial matter as I was on my way out the door to go home often resulting in me leaving work 30 minutes late. Then she'd ding me for lack of time management skills in my performance review saying I needed to leave work on time. Some people are just thoughtless and/or inconsiderate.

Dawn, I think "inept" or "incompetent" might be better words for what you describe. Someone who's good as a thoughtful manager and not insecure would never do such things.

I've worked graveyard before. I enjoyed it. Also worked early mornings, starting around 2:30 to 3 am. I enjoy the night. I'm a nightowl/vampire. Peaceful, air is fresh, stars are beautiful, cool in the summertime (often anyway) and no crowds like during the day.

To answer your questions:

Are people really that dense?
Yup, they are.

Do people really think that night shift is so much less important that the people who work it don't need as much rest as people who work normal hours?
Yup, they do

Or do people just not care as long as their own needs are met?
You got it. They don't care.

You need a one-sided discussion with the boss and point out that calling you during your sleep time is out of line and rude and ask if it would be OK for you to make a return call during work. I doubt the boss would like it.

Thanks everyone. I did get an email from my boss today apologizing for the text. It was kinda a half apology as he said that he didn't think a text would wake me up and he sent it with the assumption that it wouldn't. Whatever.

One reason i agreed to move out to the sticks was because of my preference for night shift. We used to live in a neighborhood SWARMING with loud, unsupervised, BAD kids. At less 4 billion of them. And the thing is, you can't REALLY get mad at kids making noise playing outside. They are kids. That's what they are supposed to do. Add that to the neighbors who must have thought we had no means of entertainment and so were thoughtful enough to play their radio loud enough for us to hear in OUR house, well, that was enough to convince me. Now that we moved far far away, I love it and would never wish to go back. The only thing that might disturb me now are the dogs. But they only bark if someone or something is in the on the property, so cant get mad at them either. Or people calling or texting with frivolous crap. I CAN get mad at that.

I can totally sympathize. On top of the fact that unlike you, I am not a night owl and never could sleep soundly in the daytime, I also had a manager who would call at noon, knowing that I had probably been asleep only 3 hours. And my mother in law! I wonder if she was just being perverse. I would just drift off to sleep, aannnd.. the phone rings, it is Vi: "What are you doing still in bed?" "Vi, I was at work all night, remember? I just went to sleep!" "oh". More than once!

Yes I started leaving the phone off the hook (back then no ringer off switch)

Still had to contend with a landlord who would show up to do maintenance chores when I needed to sleep. He was an older man who never got it either. Just find out when my day off is, and come then, okay?

My daughter worked an overnight job in college, and had the same problem with her housemates. Inconsiderate, and I think just truly couldn't grasp that she wasn't sleeping at work and had to sleep in the daytime! And they also couldn't seem to grasp that she needed just as much sleep as they did (I ran into that too, with family, who also didn't understand that it wasn't easy to flip back and forth for social occasions, so I wouldn't be spending the entire day...)

I did overnights for about 15 years. I kinda miss them sometimes. When I first started doing them my boss called my house in the middle of the afternoon to ask me a question that could have been written on a post it and stuck to my mailbox at work. This was before email. I told him later that unless work was on fire don’t ever call me between certain hours and I had a note near my number stating this. He did it again a week later. As I dragged myself through that overnight shift with less than perfect sleep, I called him at 3 am to ask him a question. He was furious and wrote me up! It was thrown out once I told the director what the scenario was and I never got another call during the day again

Having a daughter who frequently works nights at the ER, I can sympathize. Her DH is a firefighter and pulls 24 hour shifts. Of course he can sleep unless they get a call, but it’s still hard. She is often home by 2:30 or 3 am but still unwinding from a long shift and then tries to sleep.

In your situation, I would remind my boss that you are sleeping from x to y hours, so please send an email during those hours unless it is a bona fide emergency. I was secretly thinking of jakeseacrest’s approach and suggest you call your boss in the middle of the night with some question. See how he likes it.

I do empathize with you amylou. I worked many years on the grave yard shift. I could sleep very well during the day and liked it. My husband did swing shift for 36 years. 7 days in a row, 2 off, 7 evenings in a row, 2 off, 7 midnights in a row, 4 off. Including all weekends and holidays. This was done every single month, never changed. So I get it and 100% agree with you.

Would a phone # 2 work for you. One in your ref for those annoying people then another for those calls that can’t wait, only your dh or whomever you choose would have Number for Ph # 2.

have a friend who put a 6 ft fence around his home, no doorbells. Gate was locked. Phone did not ring. Only his wife could disturb his sleep. He worked night for yrs.

Hope you can sleep tight.

My husband worked nights for thirty plus years. Most at the first. It was way before cell phones, and you just unplugged the home phone and ran a fan.

My kids grew up with "DON"T SLAM THE PATIO DOOR! DADDY IS ASLEEP!

In your case, I would tell the boss in no uncertain terms, that if he or she called and they WERE NOT DEAD, they would wish they were! LOL!