Ida, yes. And I have tears in my eyes right now for the sweetness of your stories.

I think RAK are so important and I, selfishly, always feel good after I have done something for someone that is unexpected but needed and in most cases appreciated.

I have always been free with compliments, they are real compliments from my heart. The other day I met a new person at my bookclub. She was in her 70's and very pretty. After book club we were talking and I told her I had to tell her how pretty she was. She stammered and blushed and then thanked me because she had been feeling down about herself. That's why I never hold compliments back....if I am thinking it....I say it.

Often my RAK are anonymous (paying for a vet bill for someone who can barely buy food for herself). The person will never know who took care of the vet bill but I know it has to be a relief for her and that's all the "thank you" I need. I don't need the recognition (although by my mentioning it here I am giving myself recognition :-))

I feel very fortunate to be in a position to do RAK. It's a win win.

There's probably an instinctual need to notice these moments of beauty in life because of all the ugliness and chaos we are being bombarded with. Listen to your inner voice - celebrating the beautiful moments gives them the weight they deserve in the world. Good on you, Ida

Posting about it (or even talking to my DH about it) feels a bit odd ... as though I'm tooting my own horn or something. On the other hand, I think DLM has an excellent point about how desperately we need these moments of beauty in our lives to help, in at least a small way, counteract the increasing ugliness in the world. I do believe that a kind word -- even just a smile -- can send ripples of goodness out into the planet. And by talking about them, perhaps it builds a momentum.

As Marlene says, paying a genuine compliment to someone can have such an uplifting effect. I have a little sign on my desk that reads, "One Kind Word Can Change Someone's Entire Day", and I firmly believe this to be true.

I felt certain that others here would understand what I'm trying clumsily to relay. I guess to put it very simply and bluntly - I want to do good things, but I don't want it to be all weird.

;-)

I came across a box of letters from my mother's days as a administration secretary at a college, after the war. So many GI Bill students thanking her for her assistance, even with little things. The kindness, theirs and mom's, carries forward to my reading the letters, and giving me warm fuzzies about Mom.

I think kindness has always been needed, and appreciated.

I think the gift card was a sweet gesture and much appreciated. More so during a RAK than at holiday time. If you truly wanted to do something for the dad, why not find a dad poem (I've seen on FB) or buy him a card and just give it to him. You could write something in it about your daily observations of him. Short and sweet.

I have always held doors open for strangers, said ma'am/sir and thank you/you're welcome. Common courtesy, and being raised in the south. Lately, I'm more vocal with compliments. For example, one of our Fed Ex drivers is a B/F that could be a model. I told her as much, and she smiled big and said thank you. She certainly has the runway walk down pat and the long legs/cheek bones to go with it!

Marlene, I attended my first garden club in our new neighborhood. One of the ladies is older/70s and lovely silver hair. Striking eyes too. She was talking to me and another lady, and age came up. I told her what a beauty she was.

DH and I have eaten at a restaraunt for years and see a lot of the same couples there on the weekends. We've randomly paid for meals, since we have the same friend/waiter it's easy enough to do. Sometimes we skip out before they know we're paying. DH also ran into the Detective that came when we found my father, and was so nice when we went to collect his personal belongings at the PD. He was with a group eating at a pizza place that rents from us, so before DH left, he gave the tenant money to cover their meal. We would rather just let it be a nice surprise and not wait around for a thank you.

I also donate towards medical bills for pets or found injured dogs/cats, or local rescue groups at random times.

The answer to your question - kindness or just feeling better about yourself? Why can't you do something out of kindness, and if it makes you feel good, so be it! I don't think for a minute you are thinking "how can I make myself feel good today?" then doing something kind. The kindness is coming from your heart, and that's the best part!

Ida can you try to stop one day and tell the young man how touched you are seeing his love for his child? Maybe just a wave and a smile up will show him that what he is doing is important.

I know that I seem to notice more of the good people out there doing the best they can then I once did. I have a NEED to see the good that is really out there, so maybe I am seeking it out?

I drive past a neighborhood early voting location a couple times a day. When I flash a quick thumbs up to the sign holders I often see them high fiveing one another in my rear view mirror.

Precious stories, Jen. I hear ya about the dad. It's usually moms we see sending the kids off, and to see a dad who's obviously in love with his daughter pulls at the heart string.

I may have told this story before, but I never told anyone else, not even my family. Like you I didn't want to toot my own horn, but it's nice sharing something that makes us feel good.

A few years ago I was standing in the checkout lane at Walmart. It was pretty busy and in the aisle next to me was a woman checking out. I overheard the cashier tell her she was $20 short. The lady was looking in her purse like mad, saying "I know it's here.." and she obviously somehow lost it.

Overhearing some of her conversation I could tell she either worked in a nursing home (pay is lousy), or she was some type of care giver. IOW, that $20 was like a million dollars to her.

Everyone was keeping quiet and my heart broke for her because I could tell she'd get in trouble at work for losing the money, AND having to take back some items out of her cart.

I happened to have a 20 on me and I crossed the aisle and handed it to her. At first she looked at me like I was crazy and then I could tell how relieved she was.

It felt good for a long time. :)

Allison your mentioning the Detective reminded me of my local fire department. In the last 3 weeks of my husband's life, they had to come to our home at least 5 times...many times in the middle of the night (their station is around the corner from us so they were always here in minutes). One time in the middle the night I needed them to help my husband off the floor (he wasn't hurt...just weak). I thanked the firemen again and again and apologized for having them come in the middle of the night again and one of them said "This is our job and we love you.". And then they asked my husband if there was anything they could do to make him more comfortable. (We had an aide but she couldn't lift him) OMG. What kinder thing to say. The unbelievable compassion. It was a horrible time for both of us and these beautiful men (literally and figuratively) made it just a tad easier.

I found out they pay for their own food, so I arranged for dinner to be delivered to them. They were very happy and appreciative and surprised. Again made me feel good.

To paraphrase "Love, Actually", if you look for it, you'll see that love really is all around.

I do think that the fact that it's a dad standing out with the little one waiting on the bus is partially why I find the scene so touching. It IS usually the moms that we see, but I've never seen a woman with this child - only the tall, young, bearded daddy. I need to keep thinking about how to approach him and what to say or do. It's a very busy street, and it will take some concerted effort on my part to make my way to him -- but the more I think about it, the more I'm really sensing that it's important for me not to dismiss the idea.

Jen, I don't think you are coming into contact with these people more often. I think that you are just becoming more aware of them. Maybe due to your recent mission trips. :)

And bless all of you for your RAKs. We have a food pantry at work and I always buy extra groceries for it. I am grateful to be able to do so.

Donna

I do think that current events have made just about all of us more acutely aware of the plight of others who are marginalized in this society. I do notice those folks more than ever. I can honestly say that I'm not so sure I'd be as touched if I were witnessing similar acts in upscale areas, which may be complete bias on my part -- and perhaps even speaks to racial undercurrents I'm subconsciously grappling with.

Recently I was in line at CVS and noticed a young African-American woman behind me with a little girl who was probably 3. The little girl was just precious, prancing around in a pair of red, jeweled sunglasses. I found myself just wanting to say something -- to acknowledge both of them in some way. After I went through the line, I came face to face with the woman and child again, and I spoke to the little girl. I held out my sunglasses and said, "Hey, little one -- you wanna trade? Your glasses are SO much cooler than mine are." The little girl looked up at me with that open-mouthed expression that only 3-year olds can get away with, and the woman (most likely her mama) just smiled at me ... So I said to mom, "She is adorable" -- and that smile widened big time.

I find myself wanting to interact with those I might not otherwise ever have a reason to speak to. So sometimes I just do it.

Jen, I experience the same thing on a daily basis. We peer into people’s lives and souls through the little vignettes that our common daily routines offer. If I were better at writing, my nebulous thoughts and feelings would transform into perfect short stories. So, all I’m left with are feelings of pathos, compassion and inexplicable connection to the people I take special notice of during routine encounters.

I too occasionally feel impelled to do something nice, and see the simple happiness it brings to the recipient. I don’t know if I’m fooling myself, relieving myself of generalized guilt and sympathy or making a true connection through those RAK. I wish I were a talented painter or writer so that there is an outlet to this fullness that borders on heaviness of heart.

In this age of radical self-interest and vilification of anything/anybody strange, this feeling of human connection is indeed beautiful.

Nutsaboutplants, you said it beautifully and perfectly.

A smile and a friendly comment can warm someone's heart.

I do the RAK once in a great while, but DH does it fairly often.

Twice in the last 3 months while we have been eating in restaurants, he has noticed young couples (that we do not know) come in to eat who seem to be treating themselves to a better dining experience that they are accustomed to. When DH goes to pay our bill he pays theirs too, and then we slip away without their even knowing. He never speaks to them nor even seems to notice them in any way. As we drive away, he's got a smile on his face as he thinks about the surprise they're going to get when they ask for their bill. :)

I get a kick out of helping elderly people in the supermarket or walmart find things or reach things that are too high. I must look approachable because they often ask me for help. Sometimes i go up and down the aisles with them looking for something until we find it. Kind of like a treasure hunt or solving a puzzle. Sometimes the old guys hit on me, lol.

I try to give sympathetic smiles and comments to parents with wailing toddlers. I remember how embarrassed I used to be when I had one.

I don’t feel comfortable getting thanks so I, too, pay for meals at the register, usually veterans. I have also swiped my card for the person ahead of me when my judgement says they would benefit from a financial breather. But, my daughter and I pass $100 to people with kids at Christmas, and those faces we do see. We do it very close to the holiday, and pick those with toys in their carts. Recipients always cry, and I know it’s not because of the money, but because a stranger sees them as a person and recognizes their struggle.

Really interesting thoughts and great stories. I don't know why the situations stand out more for us now than in the past, perhaps it's aging and having the time to notice these things, perhaps it's being more mature and having experienced more that we notice people in need or people who are where we were at some point.

A few years ago my niece and her DH had a baby way before they planned it and financially life was tough for a while. She was going back to work and talking about having to hire a dog walker for their dog and it was something that I knew they couldn't afford. I said that if it would help I would walk the dog 3 mornings a week for them and the look on her face at my offer was all the thanks I ever need. Five years later I'm still selfishly doing it because the dog and I love it. He is soooo happy to see me those mornings. Now, she pays me in dark chocolate or homemade muffins, :)

Is it a RAK or are we just fellow human beings looking out for one another.

We sometimes buy a meal for people too, and DH will often do it for police officers since he served once upon a time many years ago on the local force.

One year, about a week before Christmas, we went into a Wal-Mart near us and asked if we could pay down on several Christmas lay-aways that had been pending for a while. The store manager worked with us to select 5 random accounts that looked as if few payments had been made, with the assurance our money would go to others if these were not claimed. We had agreed on a figure we would put toward these accounts so no one would know the toys were paid off, or nearly so. It was a good feeling.

We also have worked at our church to feed at Thanksgiving in the past. And have worked on the mobile soup kitchen in town. The looks of gratitude for a meal will sometimes make your eyes water.

Jen, when I was driving to work, I would pass by these little children in our rural area waiting for the bus. Some scenarios were heart-warming, with mom or dad waiting with the kids no matter the weather. I know what you mean. I guess that school bus tragedy in Indiana really hit me hard, thinking of how senseless and tragic it was for that mother to watch a truck mow down her 3 little ones.

Blfenton, my DIL did something similar for me when I watched my grandchildren twice a week. Every now and then she'd stop off after school and bring me a honey bun and a carton of chocolate milk. She knows me well. lol

Have you all ever done what you thought was a good deed but you ended up feeling stupid? When my boys were in college I stopped off at Sonic to get DH and I a burger. (I hate their food, btw) The food came to about $8 and some change. I gave the lady $10 and told her to keep the change. She definitely was grateful.

Well, when I told the story to my boys they informed me we are supposed to tip the workers at Sonic when they bring our food to the car. Really? I had no idea and now I feel guilty for never doing it before. :)

You inspired me to do more. I get coffee at a fast food place at least 3 days a week on my way to work (it's good coffee and it's a LOT cheaper than all the coffee places around). There is one cashier that I have grown fond of and I noticed she appeared to be pregnant. I didn't want to ask her-because-you know...but this morning she was rubbing her belly and I knew for sure she was so I asked her when she was due. We got to chatting and she said today she was putting in her 2 week notice. So tomorrow I'm going to drop her a card and a gift card to Target. Poor girl works at a minimum wage job-she is so sweet and friendly, I just want to give her a little something as a thank you.

A few years ago my aunt noticed a neighbor's housekeeper walking to the train on bad-weather day, and gave her a ride. (The neighbors work long hours.) The next week, she gave her another ride. A few years later, and she will tell me "I have to be home by 3 to drive Anya to the train." My aunt has her OWN weekly housekeeper. But Anya is so sweet, and often has something for my aunt--baked goods, treats from her neighborhood store, flowers, something for aunt's grandkids. I sometimes wonder if this blessing has become troublesome? CAN a blessing be troublesome? I guess it's all in your heart!

Reading these stories made my day!

I retired (early) in September. I used to have teams all across the country while working. Some days they did incredible things to make sure our clients got what they needed, and other days they had terribly long, hard days trying to achieve the same thing.

I buy Lindt Truffles bulk, and whether it was a great act of service, or an 'I'm sorry you have to work so hard', I'd send them a box of truffles that I'd make up, with all the flavors Lindt makes. They were so thrilled - it's amazing what chocolate can do for people.

Now I keep a stash of them with me while I'm grocery shopping or whatever. When the deli person hands me my cheese, I hand them back some truffles. I go into CVS and bring a pocketful, and give them to the cashiers and people behind the pharmacy counter. I was in a long line at Joann Fabric, where they have a candy display, with the truffles they sell at outrageous prices for one. The woman in front of me had a young boy who wanted one badly, and I caught her eye and told her what I had in my purse. She said yes, and they both were so happy to taste a flavor they'd never had before. The cashiers at the check out get a compliment and a truffle. The person driving the 'rescue dog transport leg' to meet me for leg of the journey gets truffles, as do the UPS folks and the mailman, and the woman who draws blood for tests after a doc appt.

It makes me so happy to see them surprised and happy that I keep ordering the truffles in bulk. :-)

My3dogs, I LOVE that! You are surely known as "the truffle lady" :)