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Step mum help need advice adult stepkids

5 years ago

Needing advice. I have 3 grown up stepkids, my husband has had no real interest in his kids since we have been togethe. I have always been the one to make sure they had present etc growing up but still i am the evil one. Now the oldest is angry and im guessing i know why, my husband blames me and tells them he didnt visit etc because i wont drive him ( he doesnt drive) i ask him if hes going to see them but he tells me no i got no interest in them, couldnt be bothered etc. when the kids were growing up his ex did stop him from seeing them often, she would also like to try and blame me with telling them daddys not here because of me!!! So the kids have formed a hate bond from the start. I have done everything for these kids, when we did have them when they were young i bathe, cooked, entertain and also did the same for my 3 while my husband sat on his computer playing games. His kids would cry for him to get off and he would get angry if he was made too i guess i should have left then before i developed a bond with them because ever since its been a nightmare i am constanly blamed if daddy doesnt ring/visit i remind him and i get yeah what ever but when he finally does contact them he tells them i stopped him, now his adult daughter has been bullying me and its funny cause hubby told me he spoke to her a couple days ago and ever since hes been very lovey and anxious and hasnt been sleeping well. All i can work out is he has told her lies again and has blamed me for something and now im the one having to take it. Im so over it and i know my hubby has done it cause he doesnt think hes going to get caught cause i dont contact the kids as everytime i do try im spoken to like shit. But i am thinking of emailing her and asking if something is wrong and see what i have been blamed for this time.... i know if i do an confront my husband its going to start a huge fight like it always does and he will put on a poor me act and i dont know if i could handle it. We have a great relationship aside from the only time we fight its over his kids, he has been a great father to my 3 and i know his are jealous of this and they have every right to be but why cant they see its got nothing to do with me, i cant deal with much more and after over 15 years im ready to let his kids win. He tells me he has no affection to them he doesnt know them they are strangers and it doesnt help that they have lied to him for years, i just need some advice please, and please dont think im the evil stepmom as i have never been and it upsets me greatly that im painted as this please help

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