I don't have any recommendations except this is my wood kitchens idea book and maybe you will see a color scheme you like. It has both new and older, refreshed kitchens. Not all have the same wood tone as your cabinets, so pay attention to that too. https://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/75202366/list/wood-kitchens I tend not to be an accent wall person, especially in the kitchen where there tends to already be a lot going on. I favor a large piece of pretty colorful art over accent color. You look like you have a busy household, and I realize you snapped these pics in the middle of a busy day:) One of the most inexpensive yet high impact changes you can start with is a good kitchen clean out. See if you can find storage for some of the items you keep on the counters and on the fridge. I have limited counter space and found that I needed to just put my spices in a drawer despite my pretty spice holder - along with my knives and other utensils - I simply did not have the space on my counters. Go through your cabinets and get rid of or store elsewhere items not used in a year and possibly find room in a cabinet for countertop space stealing items. Once you do that you will be able to really see your space and decisions will be easier. Before adding a backsplash see if the 4" splash can be removed - it usually can. Then do a simple backsplash - again you don't want to complicate the space. Some of the kitchens in my idea book have dark counters. Look at those for backsplash ideas.

Here’s a look at the living room - bedroom floors are the same. The walls are currently a very changeable and I think nice light grey that looks almost blue or purple (and sometimes beige?) depending on the light. Contractor’s budget was very generous, still waiting on the insurance to approve or negotiate the details. I don’t mind investing some (so painting, maybe resurfacing. Depending on the cost?), but don’t think I’m up for the cost or time investment of replacing the cabinets when they are perfectly functional. Thanks for the advice so far!

I agree with @Beverly's comments. The wood of your kitchen cabinets appears fairly light from the photos. It's not the cabinets that are making your kitchen not the "light and airy" you want. First, and easiest, is to update the lighting. Second would be to change the bulky black counter stools for something much lighter - those are really sucking both space and light. Third would be to switch the black appliances for stainless steel which provides reflectivity, rather than having the black appliances swallow the light. If budget allows, I would change the backsplash, and if the budget allows, the counters. I would do any or all those things before painting the cabinets. You need to majorly de-clutter. You could paint everything, change everything in your kitchen, but with all the stuff and piles you have everywhere, it still won't look light and airy.

@Kaitlin Thanks for the info. I am also updating my kitchen. Surprisingly, my Cabinets still look new after 25 years and another surprising thing is that my appliances still work! but they are white and my stove is electric and I want an update. Fingerprint resistant stainless appliances and a gas slide in stove with stainless backsplash over the gas stove and hood is the look I am going for and I also have issues finding the correct appliances to fit the space that it would be needed in. I am willing to go the extra $ on the gas range, because I cook almost everyday. So I don't have a need to match. Hopefully, I will close in on picking soon. Thanks again for the info. Will check out the fridge. I love a counter depth fridge.