That's a tough situation. Elders are often prone to depression and your father would have good reason with all of the shocks in a short time frame. I wish I had some sage advice, but all I can do is send you positive thoughts and prayers.

Your dad has been hit with an incredible amount. I can empathize with your concern for him. I am also a bit envious of his willingness to hit the road with a tent a camp and explore, sounds great to me.

Can you turn his plan into something more collaborative that eases your mind? Make plans to meet up at location X on such and such date, plot out the general route, buy a book of campsites, etc. I assume he has a cell phone?

Your dad has every reason to feel sad. My goodness, what a shock handling all these deaths of close relative all in a row.

I agree with Local. I do understand your father's need to "get out of town."

I would have a serious discussion with him about where he will be going, how he will stay in touch etc. You are his daughter and you care about him.

Since he has a tent, has camping been apart of his life?

Kitch, you, of course, have every right to also feel sad as well. Just try not to let it cloud your judgment of what your dad needs to do.

Since he is healthy and If there are no signs of dementia, I would wish him safe travels.

Do you know if traveling has always been a dream of his? This might finally be his chance to do so.

I would suggest that you suggest his first trip be a week in his tent not too far from his home base. Just to make sure camping is really what he wants to do.

Chances are he will love the lifestyle and decide to step up from a tent to a small camper (which can be purchased inexpensively used). Or he will find that camping isn't for him.

Good luck to him and to you. Our parents do become the children we always worry about.

So, is he giving up an apartment/home base and going exclusively on the road, like someone might do with an RV, just with a tent? Or is he going to do a series of trips and return home?

Regardless of age, he would just be vulnerable to whatever is out there, but maybe moreso because of his age. OTOH, if this is what makes him happy and he is physically and mentally capable, after all he's been through, why should he sit home and watch TV?

I am so sorry that you and your dad have gone through so much pain. I really have nothing more to add to the excellent thoughts expressed above, but just wanted to say that I can understand how "hitting the road" greatly attracts your dad at this point, and I completely understand your trepidation about the whole thing, but resignation to his wishes. I also think I can really understand on a personal level the appeal of what he's planning to do, for a number of reasons. I wish you both peace as you come to terms with what the next steps will be.

You all have been through a lot. I don't blame him for wanting to hit the road on a journey like this. As others have said, if you can agree on a way for him to keep in touch and he is capable, wish him safe travels. He may need this.

Take care of yourself, too. Good luck to both of you!

Like you I would be worried about him out on the road alone. I like the suggestion about meeting up here and there.

I suggest you talk to him and reassure him of your love and that you were happy to help him and would love to have him nearby. Sometimes people want to be reassured, especially when they feel they have nothing to give back.

Here, from the Grateful Dead:

You told me goodbye, how was I to know
You didn't mean goodbye, you meant please don't let me go?

There is so much wisdom above I'm hesitant to even add mine.

I do think he probably feels that he made too many mistakes.

He had too many losses and has to run away from them is my guess. It's distance he craves, time plus travel equals distance.

That mixture of loss and embarrassment are probably the driving forces. I would tell him I love him just as he is I had no problem with helping him and he's welcome in my life whenever. Make sure he has a cell phone. Repeat your loves to him and tell him send you postcards and call you frequently. Who knows how long he has to hide for until he can accept his losses, himself and his new norm.

So glad that he has a clean bill of health at least! Good luck!

Wow. That's a lot of suffering all at once.

I think it's great he wants to take off for the road and see sights and do some camping. There have been many times I've found healing in the cathedral of the trees and getting "fresh air" away from all the things that remind you of the losses you've suffered is also an important aspect of healing.

And it beats the heck out of sitting at home moping and getting depressed.

I love Lucille's post.

I would give just about anything to be able to drive cross country with my dad. Of course, I am retired now and have the time, but he is gone. Could you talk him into moving near you and then take driving vacations once a year? Could be time you will never get back and if you could possibly make it work even to a small extent, my guess is you will never regret it. My dad has been gone for 10 years and I still miss him every day.

My dad doesn’t want to keep a home base. He just wants to get in his car and go. That’s the part that makes me anxious. He says he doesn’t want to come back. Yes, he has a cell phone and he says he will check in everyday.

I suggested that he keep his place and travel around for a few months to make sure that’s what he wants to do. I also suggested going on a short camping trip now, just to get out of the house.

I’m feeling better this morning after reading all the very thoughtful replies! I guess it’s good that he’s thinking about how to create his own happiness. This might be something he needs to do and his only chance.

Thanks to all!

My dad moved back to my home state after his SO died. He lives about 25 miles away from me.

My husband and I are actually planning a two week road trip in October. We invited my dad, but he feels bad (embarrassed too) that I have had to help him out financially. So, I’m not sure if he will go.

There have been many times I've found healing in the cathedral of the trees and getting "fresh air" away from all the things that remind you of the losses you've suffered is also an important aspect of healing.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I will never forget sitting at the edge of a canyon at Navajo National Monument in northern Arizona in early evening, dangling my legs over the side as I watched a pair of hawks cavort aerially. The feel of the wind in my hair -- the sound of the wind as it rushed between the canyon walls -- is indelibly inked in my memory as a little snapshot of what it was to be truly at peace with every single thing in my life. I can't even quite describe it, but it was an amazingly cathartic, spiritual experience to be in that place. Perhaps your dad will find his healing in a similar place of natural beauty.

78 isn't too old to dream.

May I amend my response? Your last two posts got me thinking. Maybe this is a little like letting your children go out on their own. Scary, but it is the best thing. Let him go. If he calls every day, you will be able to get a good idea if how he is doing. My DH is 72 and I am 66. I can totally understand this. I do not worry about dying and when I do, I hope I am doing something I love...or sleeping. Which I also love doing. Ha.

Do you think he would agree to a GPS tracker on his car? Tell him it is just for your peace of mind because you love him. My friend did this when his elderly Dad (87) wanted to do some traveling after he lost his wife. Dad agreed and it was comforting to my friend that his Dad reached the planned way points. Even after he returned home he kept the tracker and it came in handy when Dad would make unannounced trips out of town to his lakehouse or to visit friends. He stopped driving in his early 90s and has sitters now who are allowed to take home in drives so it tracker still comes in handy.

But I do agree with the rest, if he feels the need to get away for a while, it might be the best thing for him and if he is 78 no still in good physical and mental shape, there really is no reason to stop him. You might even have some good times with him helping plan his route.

Wish I could take off....... The freezer died and the alarm that was supposed to sound at high temp had got turned off. It was an upright full of meat. 20 cubic ft full. It leaked all over the inside and down the back and all over the garage floor.

If you have Apple phones, you can see each others location. My son does with his kids and they track him.

So sorry to hear of your father's troubles. We had a friend who is younger, maybe 58, who retired and went through a divorce. Then just bought a camper. Just him and the dog travel all over the US. He flies home once and awhile, but from his FB posts seems pretty happy! I think he just wanted to be alone !!

Annie and Ida, your descriptions sound wonderful! I would love for him to have those experiences.

suero, I agree, we’re never to old to dream. In fact, I’ve always wished I had a little of my dads adventuresome spirit!

Cyn, although I never had kids, I think that’s a good analogy.

My first reaction was that it sounded crazy! After reading everyone’s opinions, I’m feeling much better today. I certainly don’t want him sitting home, sad and alone, just so I can know where he is.

Thank you all for your perspectives!

Your father's situation made me think of Neil Peart from the rock band Rush, who did a 14-month 50,000 mile journey through North and Central America by himself on his motorcycle after the deaths of his daughter (car accident) and wife (cancer) within several months of each other. It seems a little crazy that someone wealthy and famous would do this, but I recall he was barely recognized in over a year. But he could have been kidnapped, etc. He did write a book about it called Ghost Rider:

http://www.neilpeart.net/index.php/books/bookdetails?booknumber=3

Seems like your father wants his version of Ghost Rider. And good news for Neil, he eventually got back with the other guys in Rush, got back to the top of his game drumming, and he eventually did marry again and have another child.

I am so sorry for your dad facing so much loss. I hope you can both find peace.

Mojo, I think he would be open to a gps tracker. I discussed doing this with DH this morning. I also thought about him getting a small dog. At least it might alert him to anyone/anything coming into his campsite ( plus the companionship).

He wasn’t to interested in planning anything, “he just wants to go”. Maybe he’ll change his mind.

Thanks for sharing the other stories and the outcomes. I guess it’s a normal reaction!

So many great responses. I loved what Lucille and Annie posted. So much truth in those statements. I can’t add much either, except that being out among the trees, trails and mountains gives me a peace like no other. Sitting on a mountain top in Glacier with no other humans around except DH...the wonder and majesty of it all. We are 70 and 72 and I hope we can do it when we are 78!

I am glad your Dad has agreed to call in every day. Do you all do FaceTime or Skype? Maybe agree to a twice a month day and time to do that might even give him another good reason to keep up communication, and you can ‘see’ him and his environment.

With all the craziness in the world, a gps in his car is not a bad idea at all. Even experienced people have been known to get lost, and if he will be traveling in winter, I would worry even more. Perhaps you can convince him you are just concerned for his welfare & that it isn’t a matter of trust. Better safe than sorry.

If he hits the state parks in almost any state ( I know they are nice in Alabama), they have great sites for a tent and very good bath houses. Rangers are around all the time and they usually have a good camp store.

Can you put a GPS app tracker on his phone? At least you'll know where he is. If you think he has all of his wits about him maybe you have to let him go.

I think your father's plan makes perfect sense. Engaging with a dramatically different kind of life that will require much more effort on a day-to-day basis could be a tonic for him. Staying put with nothing but his memories and his losses and no clear path forward would be terribly depressing. Having a dog would be a brilliant- provides companionship and helps you meet people- you would just have to find one that was already well trained- definitely can't puppy train on the road.

There were some suggestions for tracking the car and phone. I'd add, set up his credit and debit cards to send you text alerts when they are used. You may have to be added to his accounts for this. We did this when our son was traveling in South Africa and Europe, and it was reassuring to know he was going to make his flight (bought breakfast at the airport) or checked in to accommodations before the front desk closed. Also good for checking for fraud, and you can refill the debit account if needed.

Your dad (and you) have been hit with a lot at once. I empathize with his wanting to pack up the car and go as I wanted to do that when my husband died.

It was having my dog that kept me from going on the road. I couldn't imagine how to take a road trip and keep her safe when I needed to stop on the interstate (no dogs allowed inside the rest stops) or go in a restaurant, and tying her up could lead to her being stolen; leaving her locked in a car could lead to overheating. In my case, I'd have to find pet-friendly hotels.

Since he's physically healthy and has a reliable car, perhaps giving him a National Park membership will encourage him to make those places his destinations in lieu of just wandering?

Like others, a way to track him if he doesn't check in, is a good idea. There are apps for phones.

78 is not too old to live your dream—even if only a recent dream.

Tents are a big pain, and I haven't used mine in over six years, although we used to use them multiple times a year, since there are so many parks here. First of all, the tents are fairly difficult to set up (at least for me), and then you have to blow up the air mattress and deflate it when you are ready to leave. My camping days are pretty much over, but I enjoyed them while I had them, although sometimes the noise from other campers was annoying.

I think it would be better if he had a camper or at least a van that he could sleep in.

Bpathome, thank you for that info, I was not aware of those options!

DYH, he has a national park card membership, so that’s good. There would be some concerns with having a dog along. We'll have to think that through.

delilah, I don’t know if this is so much a dream of his or just running away?

I was surprised by all the positive responses. When my dad told me, I just pictured him wandering around sad and alone. Maybe I over reacted, but it does worry me. If he does really decide to do this, I like the idea of us trying to plan a route.

I admit that I almost deleted this post after writing it. I was up late feeling sad and anxious. This is so unlike me and a bit embarrassing sharing my personal stuff, especially on a forum!

The responses and perspectives have really helped me, so thank you!

Kitch, I would also explore other options. He might be open to being part of a volunteer type program for seniors.

I'm off to google this right now.

What an amazing daughter your are and I’m so sorry you and your dad have experienced so much sadness and loss. I can understand his perspective, especially if he’s embarrassed that you’re helping him. Sometimes in those situations some people need to know that they are still needed. Maybe you can approach the topic of him waiting to leave for a bit from that perspective. If he knows you need him for mental support too, it might give him purpose. (((hugs)))

I have gone on several solo road trips in my life, and hope to go on many more. They are, for me, good for the soul. This is probably just what he needs right now.

Ever heard of Roads Scholars? It’s a travel program for adventurous senior citizens. My dad has done a bunch and loves them. Maybe you could treat him to one? Let him pick!

https://www.roadscholar.org/collections/national-parks/

What a great story matthias -how long ago was this?

Long time. I'd say nearly 45 years.

"I don’t know if this is so much a dream of his or just running away?"

There's nothing wrong with either of these things. Wash and pack his clothes, check the oil level and tires in the car, pack him a traveling lunch, throw a family party and tell him you love him.

You can still implement all the safety ideas talked about above (i.e. phone and atm ideas),

"I don’t know if this is so much a dream of his or just running away?"

For me this is not running away- this is choosing not to wallow. Changing your focus is a good coping mechanism. For a person that age, what choices does he have- no children to bring up, no career to focus on, no house to build, what is he supposed to do with himself? Look at scrapbooks? He needs to throw himself into something.