Over 10 years and I still miss my dad
threeoffour
14 years ago
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threeoffour
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
I miss my Dad so much.
Comments (11)I lost my Dad to Cancer 11 months ago he would have been 67,Since he left I feel scared lost and so alone,it seems like no pain in the world could compare to the pain I go through when im alone in my room and suddenly I have these bursts of images of him in my head.We didnt have the greatest relationship I was always trying to prove myself and always seemed to fail He would create new opportunities for me and no matter how badly i fell flat on my Face he always seemed to say dont worry My boy we will try again.Though he never showed it i knew he wanted something special for me ........... Im so confused now because my patterns haven't changed and im a grown man still but I feel like a little boy lost and all alone and not knowing where to turn because his dad is gone and now facing the world without him is the scariest thought in the world.You know i have had relationship issues and problems in the past and even though he wasnt able to solve them He was my Dad and he was there for me and it comforting, because I was his son and now his gone I dont know where i belong :( my hearts so sore as im writing this the tears are streaming down my cheeks sometimes the pain is so much i feel in my chest ............ i am 37 years old and im a man but you know what I was Allans Son for me that stood for something special I was proud of my Dad though i never always told him We made peace before his quick passing He was so worried about me when he learnt he had cancer How selfless is that I guess in life sometimes our hardest lessons are being learned when The Living arent Here to say its ok My Boy dont worry we will try again...See MoreIs it normal/healthy to cry over my dad dying still?
Comments (3)My kids lost their dad when he was 48 yrs old. Went to work & died. It was sudden & 15 yr old daughter didn't react for awhile tho all 3 of us, my 17 yr old son spent the night holding on to each other in master bedroom . They were OK to sleep in their rooms after that but I told them to come back if it was a bad night. I think you are getting to age of driving, proms, boys, college or work & that means you are growing up without dad & that is scaring you. My son once said, who is going to teach me to be a man(lucky for him my dad & brother were there for him) but if you think about it you are wanting to tell your dad about these things in your life, good things & bad things but you can't & that really hurts. But you could keep a journal & write about growing up, wish you could have seen me today dad, you would have been so proud,etc. I got an A on my term paper, you would have said____ Just talk to him on paper & I think you might feel closer. I moved to Ca. when I was 20 lived at aunts but so lonely for my family & especially dad, I was only girl, 4 bros. calling him we'd both cry & it was expensive so I poured my heart out in letters to him. I was so lucky as I had my folks out here until mom died last yr & dad shortly before at nearly 96 yrs old. But I never had much in way of grandparents so I had a void when younger. So get your feelings down, notice how they change as time goes on, things will seem a little better, you will go with some kids & have a good time when you didn't think you would, you have so many new & exciting things ahead of you. Grab on to life & do the living for both of you. I've had to do that for my kids as a mom I couldn't just let them flounder. I tried to be happy when I wasn't but finally as time passed the memories were sweeter than the pain. We had a great marriage & wonderful years together. You have a wonderful life ahead if you remember that your dad would not want you to be sad & miserable. Shortly before my dad died he held my hands & said, look at me, I did & he said, I have to tell you something, I want you to miss me when I'm gone, but I don't want you to mourn me. Do you understand! I said I did but as time when on I often hear those words, Miss me, don't mourn me. That means remember me, don't forget who I as but don't grieve & fret & be miserable. Such a difference, miss your dad!! Come here if you need friends or advise. Is your mom doing OK? Can you talk to her? It does get better 4 yrs is not that long. Keep busy, have fun, be a kid & you will make your dad proud....See MoreI Miss My Dad!!!
Comments (11)My father was Palestinian and my mother is American. He had some problems that made for a bad family life that got progressively worse. My mother, though she had devoted herself to him 100%, finally decided it was time to leave when I was about 3. They went through a terrible divorce, much of which I remember. My older sister, younger brother, and I, were very attached to our father despite everything. The divorce left a huge hole where he should have been because he moved back to Palestine shortly afterward. Both our mother and father remarried, and we rarely saw him. When we did, it was very emotionally draining because we idealized him so much and pined for him throughout our lives. Every time he left it was terrible for us and for him. For some reason he did not visit us very often. We bonded with him on a 3-week long roadtrip when I was 14. We visited all of our family members in the U.S. and learned something of our culture. We met our little brother from our father's new marriage. We saw him again when I was 18. He surprised me and showed up for my high school graduation from a very difficult science and math boarding school. I remember being extremely overwhelmed upon seeing him. I was shaky and crying, and I didn't know what to do. He stayed for only one night. I think the pain of not having us was too much for him. Anyway, after he left again, he called me and asked me to come to Palestine for the summer to stay with him before coming back and going to college. I didn't even have a passport back then, and my mother was nervous about it, so I said no. He was planning on moving back to the U.S.A. within 6 months, so I was excited to have the chance to finally get to know him. 2 months later he died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 48 at the time, and the youngest of 10 siblings. He was the first to die, and everyone was shocked. I cried when I heard the news. I slept for days. I didn't know what to think. We were unable to attend his funeral in Palestine because it was short notice and we did not have passports. I started college 2 weeks later so I did not have time to deal with the loss. It affected me in strange ways.I had nightmares and cried at seemingly random moments while studying, etc. This is the biggest injustice I can think of, and I don't know why God did this to my siblings and I. It has been 6 years since he died. The pain doesn't go away, and is augmented by the fact that we were waiting our whole lives to be with him and to see him. I have a huge gaping hole where he should be. This is even worse for my older sister, who remembers more and was more attached to him. She dealt with it by getting angry and pushing him away from the beginning. His death still affects me. 6 years have passed and I have never had the chance to deal with it or get closure. My pain is raw. If i ever start thinking of him, it makes me weep. It always has. When he was alive, the ocean was interminable and unsurmountable. Now that I am older and can cross the ocean, he is in a place I cannot touch. I feel that I have nobody to talk to about it. I feel ridiculous for STILL grieving about something that has been sad for me my whole life. Not even my fiance would listen to the whole story. I just stopped telling it because I felt so ridiculous for being so upset over something that happened so long ago. It is so unfair. I used to daydream as a child that he would walk into my classroom and check me out of school. I wish I could cut out that part of my heart. Now my brother is going to visit my 2 younger brothers in Palestine and I am torn whether I should go with him or go visit my fiance (long distance) as planned. Someone should write a sad story about my life. I don't know how to deal with this or who to talk to, but I know that it needs to get resolved....See MoreThis has been in my garage for over 10 years....Workable?
Comments (36)Ooooh... I love that island! Is it like an antiqued robin's egg blue? I think you could definitely pull it off in your space if you keep the color light enough. It would be a pretty little accent piece; instead of blending in the with its environment, it would be like a little jewel in it! Delicious. I like your kitchen set, too... and I'm sure your server would look lovely with that finish, although it may be hard to match in case you ever decide to move the piece to the same room as the table. But if you don't, it won't matter! Or what about a chocolate brown? That might look nice against your wall color... or are there any other shades you could pull out of those curtains that you could use for the server? I can't really see what colors are in that pattern. See, your problem is that you have TOO many options! Please keep us posted with what you decide to do! bloomin......See Moreheatherton
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