I mean, you don't have to sand. Of course, the primer and paint will flake off in random places in a matters of weeks but...

You could use General Finish gel stain or milk paint. I've used both and can attest that only a little scuffing is required. The results look very professional.

Google image or search here. Lots of instructions and pictures.

Sanding (and cleaning after sanding) is critical to getting the paint to adhere. Skip those steps and the paint will peel/flake off in random spots.

Don't use milk paint for your cabinets. Please. You will need to sand so that the primer and then the paint will adhere. First, clean the cabinets. Use powered dirtex. It doesn't need to be rinsed like TSP. Then sand. Use 100-150 grit. Sand everywhere you plan to paint. Use an oil based primer. You might need two coats. If you don't want the grain to show, you'll need to put a product on to get rid of the grain before you prime. After you prime, sand with 320 grit sandpaper. Just enough to scuff the surface. Paint, sand, paint sand, paint. It's time consuming, but well worth it. We used Fine Paints of Europe eco paint, but I understand that PPG has a paint that doesn't need 16 hours to dry between coats. Don't skimp on this, or hire it out by someone who will take the doors to their shop and do it correctly.

Suseyb.

GF milk paint is not regular milk paint. I have no idea why they don't change the name. It is "is a premium interior/exterior mineral based paint named for its low-luster sheen, which mimics the look of old-world furniture paint. It is not a powdered, casein-based milk paint, but a premixed modern version that is so durable it does not require a topcoat unless you want to increase the sheen."

I can attest to this. And, no, I have no affiliation with GF.

https://designs.generalfinishes.com/color-category/kitchen-bath-upcycled

There's also a chart for mixing custom colors.

Oh, and I also painted some cabinets with BM Advance, with the whole sand, prime, sand, paint... routine. This was infinitely more work and is not more durable.

following...

Here's a post from a previous poster on GF milk paint for her cabinets:

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/cabinet-paint-rave-dsvw-vd~3485219

You could also look at GF gray or Java gel stain. I've had very good results with that.

You’re talking 6 months of night and weekend work to get a good job here. Or a 7-9K expense for a Pro to do it correctly.

Or you can learn to love the wood. Which is trending upward in popularity. While the whole prison operating room is tending down in a major way.

I'm with Hillside, I wouldn't paint, would change out counter and backsplash to something clean and classic, move on the black appliances, do a ruthless de-clutter, and look for perhaps a more interesting new table/chairs....or if all that stuff you have means that you need more storage...save for the big Reno. It's a nice kitchen for now.

I would leave the cabinets alone. That dark-wood look you want is about 5 years gone already. I also don't know how you'll be able to tackle the amount of work involved with painting cabinets when you don't have the time to clear your clutter. Your clutter says to me you don't have any spare time.

Also, I don't advise the "black stainless" appliance finish if that's what you meant by "dark stainless steel". It's just low-cost painted-on black and will scratch. I feel like each day this forum gets a dozen posts saying people are buying the black stainless - the manufacturers must be pushing it very hard for that much of an avalanche of buyers for that finish. Just get regular stainless appliances; it'll look better and you'll be better off in the long run.

New lighting, de-cluttering, stainless appliances, and removing tchotchkes from on top of the cabinets will do a lot toward making your kitchen look more current and fresh.

another vote not to paint the cabinets. change out a few doors to glass or take a few down around the window and add shelves or maybe put in a larger window. Def paint the trim around the window. bright counter and backsplash with ss appliances would be amazing. and yes, clear off the tops of cabs unless you have a really cool collection of baskets or vases.

I like the stain you have. Also dont see a lot of clutter. What I see is a clean kitchen that is actually used, and looks like someone lives there.

If you paint them you must sand and clean the cabinets then prime with a oil base primer. You can switch to water borne after the prep is complete A well prepped project will wear well And last for years.