Here are a couple of pics from google. probably not close to your colors, but maybe it will give you an idea?

I would leave the cabinets alone. That dark-wood look you want is about 5 years gone already. I also don't know how you'll be able to tackle the amount of work involved with painting cabinets when you don't have the time to clear your clutter. Your clutter says to me you don't have any spare time. Also, I don't advise the "black stainless" appliance finish if that's what you meant by "dark stainless steel". It's just low-cost painted-on black and will scratch. I feel like each day this forum gets a dozen posts saying people are buying the black stainless - the manufacturers must be pushing it very hard for that much of an avalanche of buyers for that finish. Just get regular stainless appliances; it'll look better and you'll be better off in the long run. New lighting, de-cluttering, stainless appliances, and removing tchotchkes from on top of the cabinets will do a lot toward making your kitchen look more current and fresh.

SW 7028 incredible white. It’s a soothing white - I didn’t want stark. I went against designer idea to match the crown molding / trim to cabinet color. I wanted variance-cabinets to be their own thing- glad I listened to my gut because it’s a ton of cabinets to not like-it’s really a great color- looks great with the satin bronze hardware.

Looking at these as possible cabinet colors. Are these too dark? Will it be enough contrast from my gauntlet gray walls? 1 Popular Gray 2 Repose Gray (too green?l 3 On the Rocks 4 Big Chill 5 Grayish