yoyo, we have a saying over here "Who's 'she', the cat's Mother?"

Silly but usually reminds people that 'she' is not the polite/correct way to talk about someone who is in the room with you.

Of course it is easier to say to a child rather than an adult . . .

Thank you Vee !

I thought perhaps it was a misconception that I had carried along my whole life and took offense unneccesarily.

Considering that I come from the "don't speak unless you're spoken to" generation who was instructed as an addendum to potty training to address every adult by their Mr, Mrs or Miss sir name until I, personally, sprouted white hair...I'm in your corner YoYobon. And now that I've become a member in good standing in the crotchety old lady club...I'd be sorely tempted to ask who "she" is rather than smiling sweetly.when addressed in that manner.

No misconception on your part...IMO.

I cringed when a woman referred to her mother, who was standing with her, rather dismissively as "she" and "her" but I was constrained by my upbringing and didn't feel I could correct her in public! I certainly wanted to.

"yoyo, we have a saying over here "Who's 'she', the cat's Mother?""

Yes, we say that here in Oz as well.

Not a rule I was ever taught myself in particular, though I was instructed to be polite to adults. Actually speaking dismissively can take many forms, the use of a pronoun rather than a name being the least of it.

I was never taught this rule, either, but I can see how "she" rather than "name of person standing right here in front of you" would be irritating and feel dismissive.

I would gently suggest that maybe it's neither disregard nor disrespect but rather simple ignorance at play here. My two cents for what they're worth :)

Sheri, I think you are right regarding my situation. Unfortunately the person was not taught properly, and more unfortunately I was and do feel disrespect when I hear it.

I would tend to agree with sheri in that it is simple ignorance. I was not taught that rule, either. However, I can see that it would be irritating to many.

If it bothers you, and I can see why it does, I think it is entirely appropriate to gently point out that it makes you feel dismissed by being referred to that way.

Good point Rose.

yoyo, I have noticed over here, the growing trend for even well-educated people and especially the 'young' to say " Me and my friend" "Me and my wife" . . . did so and so/enjoyed this/were glad to meet you. We (back in the mists of time) were always taught it was polite to refer to one's self last not first.

Preferable to say "My husband and I" but it always sounded like the Queen!

I used his given name instead.

Vee, I don't think we were taught the rule of "self last not first" when speaking, just when dealing cards !

I find I am constantly challenging my 9 year old grandson's use of " me and Dad did/went" by saying " me went / Dad went " hoping that he hears the error and corrects it. Unfortunately it's so pervasive in his peer group that it begins to sound correct to him. What are they teaching in classrooms today ? Certainly not cursive ( and don't get me started on that ! ) Many of his teachers sent home notes with spelling errors !

Anna, if it's someone who knows him I'll use my husband's name. If it's someone who doesn't know him I will refer to him as " my husband".

I did not want to start a new thread but here is one for you "grammarians":

Do you say different from a thing or different to something?

I have always been taught to say "different from". Lately, reading books by Brits or Canadians, I've noticed often "different to" being used instead. This sounds a bit strange to me. I wonder if both are correct?

Never heard of " different to".

I've heard " different than" or "different from ".......I use "different than".

I've only started to hear "different to" recently, within the past few years. I just came across it in a L. Penney mystery (set in Canada) but I've also heard it on TV. I wonder if it is a cultural difference or just bad grammar....

Mary, I say different 'from' but the more I think about it the more difficult it is to hear the correct way to say it!

Woodnymph, you are correct in thinking that "different from" and "different to" are used according to the customs/traditions of various cultures. I was taught "different from" and that's what I use but I have heard "different to" from Brits, Canadians, Australians, and occasionally Americans. I am also familiar with "different than" which is mainly American. Strict grammarians disapprove of "different than", but their arguments against it seem arbitrary to me.

I use "different from" myself, "from" seeming to imply distance, which aligns nicely with difference.

I've only every heard "different to" from people speaking or writing British English, never American English.

Without ever considering it, I had always assumed that "different than" to be colloquial English, appropriate for informal speech, but not suited to formal writing. Unlike many grammatical variations, it does not actually drive me crazy.

Rosefolly

Rosefolly, I'm confused. So....if I were to say " this dress is different from that dress", people somewhere in the world might say " this dress is different to that dress" ??? It doesn't sound like it makes sense.

I would say 'differs from' but 'different to'. But then I just tried it, and 'different from' sounds fine in some sentences but not others.

And the 'me and him' of modern speech also annoys me. Like Vee, we were taught to put ourselves at the end of that kind of phrase.

Apparently English/British youngsters are being taught so little at home . . . or maybe that should be . . . the parents are so disengaged with their children that over a quarter of them are starting school (4-5years) without much language or at least the understanding of it. Some teachers have found a simple instruction "Sit down" or "Stand over there" is beyond their comprehension. Nor have quite a few of them been potty/toilet trained, let alone know how to use a knife and fork.

Having watched young Mothers pushing buggies around while linked to their phones, making no eye contact with the little ones and knowing that disposable nappies/diapers are so convenient and much longer lasting and that small kids can be dumped in front of the TV for long periods perhaps an old-timer like me (and I suspect some of you) shouldn't be surprised.

Wow, Vee, that’s pretty disturbing! We were at a restaurant recently and one nearby table was occupied by a woman and three children. The woman talked on the phone the entire time! She was at least keeping the children in line. At another table there was a woman with a little girl, and not once did she touch her phone! She and the girl talked while they ate and afterward they colored the placemat together. It was really great to see an adult actually engaging with her child!

Donna

And a child engaging with an adult .