I almost always have several "investigators" on my lid. On the days they aren't any on the lid, I see evidence that they have been there. It's normal for them to move around a lot. The majority of them should be down where they belong, feeding. I always get a kick out of seeing a balled up mass of them feeding on some tidbit. I've found that cabbage, cauliflower, and green peppers can smell quite strongly for a few days. They'll decompose quicker if you shred them up in the food processer first. I now tend to add those particular items in smaller doses, although I didn't really have a problem with them getting nasty. One time I had a bunch of green peppers go bad,so I fed them shredded up to my worms. All I could smell when I walked in the room was green peppers for about 3 days. Go easy on spaghetti, cereals, or flour products. Add those in small quantities. The worms love them and get quite fat eating them, but too much at once will make your bin smell pretty badly for a week or so. They tend to get gluey, and unless you like sewer smell, go easy on it. Freeze portions of those and dole them out gradually. I usually mix them in with chunky pieces of celery and carrots. I always put a thick layer of shredded newspaper, (or other paper), on top of all the food. Then I sprinkle some water on it (lightly) to moisten it. Keeps the flies, etc. out of the bin. It's very satisfying when you finally harvest your first batch of compost. It's also fun when the worm family grows and there are all sorts of ages of worms in there, from tiny, tiny, babies to big fat adults, and everything in between. I noticed a lot of the worms that roam around in the lid, etc. appear to be what I would classify as teenager size. Sandy

I appreciate all who posted...alot of wonderful thoughts and ideas. Dirtdivarocks,I do have alot to be thankful for.I try to thank God for it everyday.I know life is short and you shouldnt take anything for granted.It's funny you mentioned writing down my happy thoughts and moments in a book of some kind.I used to do that all the time! I was thinking about doing it again,and now I really think it is a good idea. Popi,always enjoy your insight.I have thought about moving to another country,LOL! I also am sure that my nephew's dad will get custody of him. Lindakimy~Why would you be in trouble? Your thoughts were valid. I can handle constructive criticism,what I cant handle is flat out negativity and rudeness (none of which you displayed!) I would be more worried about my nephew,but I know his dad is stepping up to the plate because he has had enough of my sister's behavior too. He has bought a house and gotten a lawyer and is ready to fight for him.He takes him 2 nights a week and every other weekend. (It's the weekend he isnt having his son that she always trys to get me watch him now,and I'm not cuz she can spend some time with her son!) If my situation was better,I would have offered to take her son.But honestly,it is just not something I could do. I live in a SMALL two bedroom apartment.I have my own daughter and 3 step daughters to worry about.Sure,they dont live with us,but they do visit.I have my own soon to be career to think about. I have been a stay at home mom mostly because my daughter gets sick alot. So,money has been tight with only my husband working.Now my daughter is older,and I'am less worried about daycare and can finally start concentrating on a career. I have always strived to "do the right thing"...but right now I feel I have to worry about taking care of my family's needs first.I'm not getting any younger. Thanks again,so much, for all the imput.I actually started therapy again recently.My therapist says she thinks it is a healthy choice to "distance myself" from my sister. Guess sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else.

From your description, your son needs to be institutionalized. That or military school -- if you can get any to take him. From your description, you're over your head. Probably way over. Don't pretend you're not. Do what you have to to get him out of your house and into some professional environment where he can be dealt with. From what you've described, "helping" your son is priority #2 at this point. Protecting yourselves, your daughter, and society is #1. Don't hesitate. You've described a very dangerous boy.

I agree with Stef. I think the best thing for you to do is call the KD and discuss the issue with her. If she gave you the plans without mentioning what you could or could not do with them, it sounds like she wont mind you asking her if you can use them to shop around. This is exactly why I never give out my plans without a retainer fee paid. Ive worked on my own and with two companies....for the first company, we required the initial meeting to be at the design center where clients met with us designers and gave us an idea of what they are looking for, including providing us with rough measurements. Once we "qualified" them (gave them a rough estimate of what things would cost) and showed them our portfolio then we asked for a retainer fee before we would come out to their home or do any real work if they wanted to move forward. On my own, all of my clients were either referrals from a past client or knew of me when I worked for the first company and were usually people who didnt want to shop around but wanted to pay someone to do the all the work for them. I always came to the client's home, spoke with them, took measurements and because I sleep, eat, and breathe this, I could give them a pretty close estimate of what things cost. If they wanted to move forward, they paid me a retainer right then and there and then I would schedule the next meeting which we would go over my initial design. All of these meetings were at the clients home, I brought samples to them and we only would meet at different show rooms if there was not a sample or photo of something I could bring to there house. With this last company, they do both ways, just depends on the client. Personally, I prefer the way I did things on my own. I was able to personally meet the client in the comfort of their own home, which I find it easier to discuss such a big money item. But never, I mean, NEVER, would I give anyone my drawings without some type of retainer payment. On the last thread, there were some pretty mean things said about KD's, whether some were real designers or just KD's. Some interior designers dont do kitchens, some do...Ive worked with alot of Interior Designers who told clients they did kitchens, but hired someone like me to work behind the scenes to actually do the design work, especially with detailed custom cabinetry...so it all depends on the person. KD's do have credibility (look at Jennifer Gilmore...she does mostly kithcens, is listed as a KD, and is in all the trendy magazines) I personally have an Architecture degree but fell in love with Kitchen and Bathroom design when I worked for a company during college....does that make me any less of a designer? Bottom line, its wrong to take someone's work and give it to another person to use, even if its just for pricing. I would be pissed if I gave someone a plan and they took the exact plan to another KD, Designer, or Architect, whatever...then again, I would never give anyone anything without acquiring necessary payments, so maybe since she gave it to you, its not a big deal...but you should definitely ask her first beforehand. PS. Just because a KD is affiliated with a cabinetry line does not mean they are any less of a designer than someone that isnt affiliated with a cabinetry line and is willing to work with which ever cabinetry line the client choose....some people can be so mean and really dont know what they are talking about. This really is a niche in itself because there are many variations on what type of designer exist and what clients expect. I think that if you want to shop around and find the best deal then be up front about it when your meeting with someone so that both of you know and expect the same things...why be so sneaky about it? I've have people tell me that they are shopping around and either I make sure to lay out exaclty what they can expect from me or I let them know, hey Im not the cheapest designer around and I can't do what you want at your ideal price...this way they are not wasting my time and I am not wasting theirs. But remember, alot of people on this forum write in about the "little" mistakes their KD has made or didnt catch and some of them probably went the cheapest route...as with anything, you get what you pay for...those "little" mistakes have never came up in my business, then again Im not the cheapest option. We are the first ones to get blamed yet we are the last prof that people want to pay. This is not to say that there are not bad KD's or designers becuase there def are and they give the industry a bad reputation. Im not saying the OP is trying to be sneaky, I just wanted to say what I felt and the last forum was getting a bit too long. Sorry to go a rant, but I'm kind of tired of the anti-KD or anti-Designer feeling I get alot of times when I log on here. All the best with your kitchen remodel!