Will there be turkey neck jokes?

Of course. Just some further details: everyone who will be there will know in advance that they will be naked and that turkey will be served.

fawnridge (Ricky)

The stuff you're requesting seems relatively easy compared to finding a believable reason why everyone would come to dinner naked. Did they lose a bet? Is it a fundraiser? Swingers club?

If you were to serve champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, oysters, and the like, then you wouldn't need to deal with anything! it's easy to hide a gun in the crushed ice. lol!

oops, missed that they already know they're having turkey. I'd hide the gun beneath a wreath of fruit and herbs that I wrapped around the turkey. :)

Can the gun be in the bottom pan of a double decker chafing dish, the ones designed like a double boiler? Instead of the bottom pan having water in it to help keep the food warm, you could put the gun in it. Of course, you could not light the Sterno under the chafing dish with no water in the pan.

I’m not sure why a concern for chairs and coverings? I mean, if I had people for dinner, clothed or not, I would still be using the same dining room chairs. Napkins of suitable size to be laid in the lap to protect clothing from spills is also suitable for covering naked laps. Though without a collar to wear, dinner items that can be accompanied with tuck in napkin like a bib like some bbq and seafood cracking scenarios would be out.

The turkey.... even with a fairly small handgun, you would need a goodly sized turkey to have a cavity big enough for easy gun planting and removal. Obviously bake the bird without the gun. Put gun in baked bird. Use bunches of parsley, clove pierced lemons, or even a nice chunky savory dry stuffing of fruit and nuts to camaflage the opening and gun. Depends on what you need to do with the gun.

beesneeds "I'm not sure why a concern for chairs and coverings?" Ewwww! Do you want to sit on those chairs....after?

I'm thinking of see through lobster type bibs, and I think the gun should some how be in the centerpiece.

Yeah, I’d be putting some kind of disposable cover on those chairs.

buy some plastic lawn chairs for the meal … or serve at an island, and make everyone stand

the gun can be frozen in an ice sculpture ...

Want to read story when complete! I think I do.....

Get those easy-wipe outdoor patio chair cushions, and put them on the dining room chairs. Or, go with Oly's suggestion...

I can't wait to read this!!! Laughing already...

The reaction to the chairs is cracking me up. I'm not sure what kind of folks you all are thinking of, but my friends are clean, decent, and hygienic folks who's naked butts wouldn't be a problem- not like they are going to do foul things sitting there naked than they would sitting there clothed.

And besides, multiple folks use the same bathroom while at parties, and you know their butts are naked on that seat and they are actually doing things in there. How many people clean/wipe down the toilet seat between every single use in a personal home party situation? Or are leery of sitting there because they actually think about other people's naked butts having sat there earlier?

Read up on nudist resorts and their restaurants. Google 'nudist camps restaurants". Here's one story.

...that seat and they are actually doing things in there. How many people clean/wipe down the toilet seat between every single use in a personal home party situation?

I don’t know about your toilet seats but mine all have a large opening in the area of concern.

Let me try to understand.

Guests are naked, but salads and turkey will have dressing?

Men are very self conscious, they have balls to show up naked.

dcarch

Gun in the cooked turkey? I take it the carving knife won't do....

WOW a whole new twist on Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen with a candlestick !

Thanks everyone. The guests have arrived and I'll take it from here.

Pictures!

Ricky:

We need to know why they came. It's okay to start a story in the middle, but you'll have to flash back to let us know their motivation.

The simplest motivation - money.

Ricky:

If you told me you were cooking me dinner and would give me a dollar to eat it naked, I'd be right over. My wife, not so much. You've got more 'splainin' to do here.

Assuming the gun should be operational and loaded, I'd insert a piece of metal the size of the gun into the Turkey before putting it into the oven, and fill in the rest of the cavity with regular bread stuffing. Once the bird is cooked, I'd remove the camouflage stuffing and the piece of metal, insert the gun wrapped in plastic, and replace the stuffing.

The gun is no longer in the turkey.

... The plot thickens....

Not to beat a dead horse, but as far as the chair covers go. Everyone showers every day and are clean, but, do you wear your underwear 2 days in a row?

Well there are two sides...

Lol. My Dh has asked that. I say no.