Maybe you should hold off on destroying your plants a little while. Things might cool down between you and your sister, or you might find that your next house might have room for your plants, especially if some are in pots or if you pot them up. Your sister might not mind keeping them awhile until you can see if you can move them. Best wishes in your move.

If you are getting rid of them, you should try to sell them on Craigslist or Facebook etc. vs destroying them. At least the funds could be used towards finding a better place to live where you can garden and grow plants later.

Sorry this is happening to you. Maybe things will cool off with your sister and you can plan your future without having to move right away.

Tangles Long,

I am sorry for your family turmoil. Life does not always move along tranquilly. If you do follow through with your move, look at it as an opportunity to move forward with your life, a chance to improve yourself....a blessing, not a bad thing.

My advice is to leave the roses (I'm assuming they are in ground.), where they are. You were told to leave, it is not necessarily your choice to do so at this time. The hassle of removing them, trying to find homes for them or discarding them with the stress you are currently under....all are a heavy load to bear. Minimize your stress.

What happens to them after you move is your sister's responsibility. I know you don't want her to have them, and that their state after you leave will probably deteriorate, but you have more pressing issues now...a new home and a new beginning.

Leaving them as they are will possibly cause your sister to feel regrets about the incident that led to your departure. Let her have to deal with the consequences of her causing you to leave by having to deal with the roses.

I wish you all the best. Every cloud has a silver lining. You are in my prayers.

Moses

I'd also tend to let the roses be, the situation could change ... though, whether or not it actually does, I think it would be a difficult thing to go about the killing of healthy rose bushes.

I'd let the roses be and deal with them later...

Tangles, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. I had two similar experiences with my sister and they caused such a rift between us at different points in time. Our relationship has had its ups and downs since then, and it is always a struggle to maintain a relationship with healthy boundaries with her.

Grievefor the hurtful things your sister has done, but do not lose hope of reconciliation and don't succumb to the desire for revenge. I agree so much with leaving the roses. Destroying them would be traumatic for you and only make things with your sister worse.

Take some time to take care of yourself. I hope you find a new place soon. Thoughts and prayers going out to you.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but this could be a blessing in disguise. You don't need to be around people who flat out tell you to move out of the house, that's just nasty. I'm sure you pull your weight one way or another but maybe she's just blind to it. I was in a similar situation, always getting bossed around by a brother... Eventually, I learned that living in a small space with your own freedom is much better than living in a mansion with a tyrant.

As for the roses, just leave them as they are. Maybe you'll find a space with a backyard and you can keep going back to get cuttings from your roses sometimes. You can even plant multiple cuttings in the same pot if space is so tight, just so you will always have them.

I'd also chime in here and say that in the light of a new day feelings and situations can change. I know that when I'm really upset I can rely on a good night's sleep and the dawn of a new day. I hope this is true for you.

Thanks for all the comments. I decided to clear out those potted roses tomorrow because:

1. I have this feeling she wanted to sell the house and live with her b/f and if I move out I don't want my mum to carry heavy objects around.

2. It will drastically reduce the water bill.

This isn't the first time she tried to kick me out. I'm tried of all the arguments. Its bad for my health and makes my mum miserable.

She likes to pick up fights over small things like the floor is wet, the sponge is wet, the light switch not turn off and if I talk back at her she will point the finger and use the phrase, "move out!"

I do all the chores at home and help out with the groceries and bills never complained.

But this is the last straw I am putting up with her "move out" phrase.

This experience has opened up my awareness. On a positive note to become more independent and not relying on anyone else. Next week I will live in my car until I find a place to stay and hopefully by then could take mum with me.

I just cannot put up with her - it makes me think of those bad memories when I was growing up.

Oh Tangles, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize she owned the house, and I hate the thought of you sleeping in your car. Isn’t there anyone you can stay with for a little while, until you have the funds to get a place? It sounds so dangerous for a young woman alone. I don’t know where you are located and how safe the area is or isn’t. Can your sister really be so cold hearted as to let you be homless, while saving the $ for a new place? If so, she is cold hearted indeed. My heart goes out to you. I wish you were nearby, so there was something I could do to help you. I’m quite concerned about you living in your car. It sounds dangerous to me. Perhaps you know of a safe place on someone’s private property to park your car? That would be better, if this is your only option. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Please keep us posted. Be careful and safe. Lisa

I'm so sorry you are going through all this , and can't imagine how hurt you must be. I wish I had some good advice , but I will be praying for you and hope you will keep us updated. Family dynamics are so difficult sometimes.

This is a horrible situation, but please dont destroy the roses, they really are innocent in all of this and most importantly, one day you may have a place for them in your garden. Imagine going to her house and being able to take back your roses! I would let them be and try and find a place for them in your new home, even if its some of the potted ones. ALso let your mom enjoy them, even if they are not cared for roses are surviors, they will most likey be around even for years without care.

Tangles, I am sorry you are going to such stressful and difficult time in your life. Be strong. I know it is easy to say but trust us. Don't destroyed your roses. You can always come back and take it.

Things will come around. I totally agree with Moses. His first paragraph was what I did and what my husband did. Things will patch up by then you have your own place. You have your Peace of Mind. It is hard but life is adventure with ups and downs. Just have to be calm, collective, positive and be happy. Even if things get worst just laughed it off. Be strong.

I just wish I can give you a hug. Everyone is giving great advice and from experience. Pls, keep in touch and stay safe.

Jin

This does sound like a horrible situation, and I, too, want to give you my best wishes and hopes that things will improve over time,Tangles. I also agree with Lisa: be careful and safe! Sleeping in your car does sound dangerous, and I hope you can find an alternative,or that your sister will at least have the common sense to realize that it's absurd and really pretty unnatural to put you in a position where you'd be forced to do that. I also agree that .for now, it's best to leaves the roses be. Moses is right; you have enough to deal with already without having to think about them. Also, you might want to avoid any histrionic gestures; to me it sounds like your sister is being very histrionic and childish herself, and you don't want to get pulled down to her level, if possible, though I know that that can be difficult ,especially because it seems to me at least that she's kind of playing mind games: if she just wants to sell the house and move in with her b/f,why not just come out and say so? It does certainly sound like you'd be much, much better off having your own place. Best wishes and stay safe.

Don't destroy the roses. Move on with your life.