Do you have a kitchen design you are presenting to the contractors? An actual design? Without a plan, they can't really give you a proper proposal, and you will get the variations you are seeing. You need to have a KD draw up a plan, and then you can bid out that plan. You just telling a contractor "what you want" is kinda meaningless.

Also, you and/or your KD should choose and purchase your sink yourself, not have the contractor do it. Then give the specs of the sink you've chosen to your counter fabricator, or give him the sink itself. The size of the sink will depend on the size of the base cabinet for it. If you have a kitchen design, you will know the size of the base cabinet. The faucet is also something you should be choosing, not the contractor.

And don't do a 2" backsplash. They are dated, and don't serve much purpose. Yet they'll cost you labor and materials for that 2" backsplash.

Hire a Kitchen Designer. Now.

Don't let contractors bully you into getting something you don't want because it's easier for them, or because that's the way everyone else has it. That's true for a kitchen designer too.......if they tell you something can't be done, ask them why. If they tell you that you won't like it that way, ask them why.

Still, like friedajune said, you need an actual plan of what you want, not just a verbal description or a rough layout. Whether you use a KD or do it yourself depends on your personal skills and talents (or those of your friends/family).

Do I understand you correctly...you meet with contractors and verbally describe what you want and expect them to prepare a bid based on your verbal comments?

If so, you will never get anywhere except a huge drain on your bank account.

Get an architect or at least a kitchen designer, prepare proper dimensioned drawings and a written specification. Use this with all builders for a quotation.

Good luck on your project.

I use a designer to do plans for all my projects, even a small powder room. The contractor is then given the detailed plans for bidding. I have samples of materials being used and those are shown along with the plans. Tile placement is specified in detail in the plans. The GC can decide if they have the skill to do the job and can bid it accurately.

Kind of like showing up for surgery without a physical exam, x-rays or cat/mri scans and telling the surgeon to fix the unknown problem. You are going to end up with a lot more scars!

Big sigh. My question was an attempt to make a long story short. . . We met with several designers that seemed to know our style and what makes us happy even though we had no clue what the options were. As the year progressed, I did a phenomenal amount of research including custom cabinets, countless visits to the Houzz forums (thank you, all), visits to different fabricators, plumbing, lighting, appliance, and flooring showrooms. Made decisions. Met with contractors referred by the fabricator, appliance guy, and local Kraftmaid supplier - all with the Kraftmaid design, flooring and counter material/sink in-hand. The faucet and hardware have yet TBD. Yes, we verbally relayed what we wanted that was not part of the cabinet design, i.e. the window. The initial meetings were all positive - whatever we want. We received 5 or 6 proposals over time ranging from $37k to $52k. Some didn't respond. We studied and compared, tried to get them all on the same playing field. Spoke with some references and visited some finished kitchens.

Toronto Veterinarian hit it on the head. This part of Pennsylvania is high on outdated trends. The contractors don't like questions or anything unfamiliar. Everything is granite (vs.acrylic). There are many undefinable "standards" i.e. a standard faucet is either 2", 2-1/4", or 2-1/2" in diameter, sheesh. This just happens to matter when deciding on a sink.

Bottom line is, we're meeting with another designer / custom cabinet maker this week and we want to present our preferences at the onset. Risk management. I want to type out a sheet of paper with the details to be included a proposal. How do I organize this in a way to align with contractor-speak?

" The contractors don't like questions or anything unfamiliar."

Then I think the only solution is to keep searching and talking to contractors :(

I went through similar for my bathroom, and I ended up with a smaller company who was more flexible.

What puzzles me further is, if I should have full specs in-hand, why wouldn't any of the contractors tell us, or ask for specs?

We learned the hard way, too, while remodeling a bathroom - if it's not in the contract, it doesn't exist. I realize there will always be the unforeseen, I want to avoid frustrations as much as possible and be the client who writes a gleaming review.

"Time spent now choosing someone who is on the same page as you is worth it."

Yes!

I got the impression that she wasn't working from a plan. Rather, she was verbally relating her vision and realized that she wasn't effectively communicating.

This thread doesn't make sense. Perhaps it's just that the OP is using the wrong terminology. It's not clear.

A kitchen remodel, like any other remodel, needs dimensioned floor plans, elevations, sections and details, plus any other DRAWINGINGS necessary to illustrate the scope of the work. The DRAWINGS should have notes as needed to supplement the DRAWINGS. There may also be specifications, which are the technical description of each major element of work to be done.

Drawings, notes and specifications are all different mediums to describe the scope of work. Without drawings, there simply aren't enough words in the world to illustrate and describe the scope of work. Notes and specifications supplement the drawings; they do not replace them.

When I say a plan, I mean scale drawings with specifications for a particular project, just as if you were building a house. These plans are what the contractors bid on.

For my bathrooms and fireplace remodels I used an Interior Designer to consult with and draw up the plans. For the kitchen remodel I am using Wood-mode cabinets and picked the kitchen designer I liked best out of the 4 dealers closest to my area. The KD drew up the kitchen plans for the order and for the GC to bid on.

If you don’t have floor plans, elevations, perspectives, and section details, along with a specification list that references those, then you have not been dealing with. Kitchen Designer. You have been dealing with cabinet sales people. Probably for “free”, too, with no design fee paid up front in the expectation that the cabinet purchases will generate the profit on the interaction.

No Professional works for free. Find an actual KD to do the design work needed up front. Be prepared to pay for that.

If a designer is local, they should have some contractor referrals from people they have worked with before. That should give you a boost ahead of just soliciting business with them without a referral. And it also means that they work well as a team should you also want to hire the designer to Project Manage for you.

For documentation, you should be getting something that looks like the documents at the following link. Plus a spread sheet of choices for items, if you and the designer have done the required work together to create that specification document. Some customers only want a cabinet layout, and not help with other specifications. Buy it does sound as though you need the full package. https://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/105612493/thumbs/project-documentation-samples

Look for someone who tailors their design package to what you need. But, it sounds as though you need a full service design, assistance with contractor selection, and someone to aid you in project management too.

The OP lost me at his/her opening statement of “Big sigh” in his/her second post. A lack of information in OP, and a confusingly told story that is vague. E.g. The “Items” include the “right sink/faucet”. Not sure do they mean they’ve specified the sink/ faucet, or do they want them to be contractor-provided? Who can tell? The forum then provides helpful comments and asks more questions, trying to figure it out, and in return gets the resigned, weary “Big sigh”. Sorry to be so much trouble! Second post adds to the confusion.

OP making this too hard. Moving on.

We hired a local kitchen designer and it was a great experience. They listened to our wants and needs and were able to help us through the whole remodeling experience. They were able to recommend contractors that they trusted and worked with often. I couldn't imagine doing this any other way.

Yes, that was a weary big sigh. Thank you all for your expertise and interest to help. That's what makes houzz great. I see many posts in this forum by people who need to quickly resolve a problem in the midst of a remodel. After being consumed for a year, I don't want to throw up my hands and say whatever. We love to cook and use our kitchen heavily. Contractors don't understand the need for a counter overhang to accommodate a crank pasta machine

So, depending on how things go Friday, my next step will be an independent designer.

"...my next step will be an independent designer..."

Now you're talking...

Don't wait til Friday! Take one with you and get them involved in the "team". You will need a good, integrated "team" for this project.

I suppose now is the time to ask you all what to expect and what to ask for from an independent kitchen designer before hiring. Other than qualifications andreferences.

Flo, Friday we are meeting with a design/build company. If that doesn't work out, Ill start researching independent designers.

For both the design-build and KD, ask for summary of their applicable experience, examples of finished designs, and names of past clients that you may contact. Ask the past clients questions like "what are you particularly impressed by with XXX?", and "what do you wish they had done a little differently or a little better?", and see where the comments lead.

Good luck on your project!