I say pot them up a size, and in regular potting soil, Bonnie. Bet itÂll give them a boost. And carefully remove the seed leaves and bury them all the way up to the first set of true leaves. And keep watering them with a dilute water soluble fertilizer. I also recommend putting them out all day any time itÂs up around or above 60, and even a little bit lower if the sunÂs out. The wind and sun will be good for them, and theyÂre gonna be out there on their own before too long anyway. You might keep them in or put them out in filtered sun or bright shade for a couple days right after you pot them up. Most of mine have or are just getting their second set of true leaves, so I really donÂt think youÂre that far behindÂif at all. And one other point! Last year I was looking for a couple more varieties than I had started, so I bought one in a gallon pot, and one in a small pot. Both of the store bought ones were bigger than the ones I started, and it almost looked like my tiny little plants werenÂt worth putting in the ground, but once they were planted, it wasnÂt long at all before they were ALL the same size, and without a scorecard, I really couldnÂt tell which had been which. In my experience, they love getting out into the ground and really take off once they do. And, Ian, all that for you too! I sowed my seed on March 31st, and I just potted them up from the 2' pots they were started in to 3½" pots. I mostly potted them up a size so I could bury them deeper to help establish a bigger root system before they go out into my clay! If you think yours look a little too pale, I recommend you start watering with a water soluble fertilizer too. I use 20/20/20Âfor EVERYTHING! For seedlings I usually use it half strength, and if they seem to like that, I make it a little bit stronger. IÂve never used Miracle Grow soilÂor Miracle Grow anything else, but if itÂs forming a crust on top when it drys, get something else. IÂve never used it either, but the Black Gold everybodyÂs talking about sounds good. I use Sunshine mix, since I can get it in bales, but itÂs available in smaller size bags too. ItÂs what everything was planted in at PaulinoÂs, and it always worked well. I use it for starting seeds, rooting cuttings, and everything else. But Digit and David both grow a LOT of stuff, and if they think Black Gold is good, thatÂs good enough for me. Ball mix is a good quality too, but I donÂt think you can usually find it in anything smaller than a bale. Just think, for a minute, about all those YUMMY home grown tomatoes! Skybird

Thanks so much for the help! I don't think it's lack of sun, there's plenty. It must be drainage then. Can I dig them up and lighten the soil a bit, or is it a lost cause? This is my first salvia experience, so I don't know that much about them.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.

I'm not sure I fully follow everything you've said, but let me try to answer your question. No, I don't think you're just looking for something to go wrong. I think it already has, from what you've told us. Some clarifications, though, please: You said you noticed he had called her a few times. Are you sure those calls were FROM his phone to her or could they be TO his phone from her? When you say he goes to his brother's house and always picks up the phone when you call, do you mean that you're calling his brother's land line or are you calling your husband's cell phone? Of course, if it's his cell phone, that certainly doesn't prove that he's at his brother's. I don't know what you're talking about regarding your stuff in his car and what that had to do with her. However, how would she know that there was stuff in his car if SHE hadn't been in his car? You mention that he was at his brother's this past Monday and you called him and he called you back 20 mins. later. Again, did you call his cell or his brother's land line? If the land line, don't you think that the brother might've heard your call, called him, and told him to call you (from wherever he was)? When he's "at his brother's", why not drive over there yourself just to say hi? Why would he go to his brother's house every day off? When he's got a day off, why wouldn't he spend it with his family - - - meaning you and his child? Do you work outside of the home or are you at home with the baby? Are you sure that he works 12 hours a night, 6 nights a week? How are you sure? Good luck - if everything you've posted is accurate, I think you've got a problem and that you know it. I'm not suggesting you snoop more, just that you keep your eyes open and become a realist. If there's nothing going on you'll figure it out. If there is, you'll figure it out. Suzieque