Why in the world do I want to get in touch with her?
ilovecomputers
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
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How do I tell my best friend her husband is cheating on her?
Comments (14)I'd tell her she better go and snoop herself. Why would she send you instead of doing it herself anyway? And, why would he leave a prescription for Viagra laying around/wouldn't it be at the drug store or in his wallet? What could you tell from the "phone records" without doing a little more research? Don't they have a trash service at his office...or does it just not get taken out if he is out of town? Why wasn't your friend waiting with baited breath to see what you found if she knew you were going to be snooping? Guess I have more questions than answers to give you. Anyway, offer to watch her kids, and tell her she better go take a look herself....See MoreWhy do I get a suffocating feeling when I try to organize?
Comments (18)You are not alone. As others have said, I think the first step is accepting that your house is never going to look like a sit-com, TV, Ozzie and Harriet, Cosby and family home. In real homes the floor has to be mopped over and over again. You have to take off the kids clothes and wash them, ( wash the kids and the clothes ) and then put them away and wash the bath tub. I used to live in fear that someone would come over and see my mountain of clothes on the sofa. We practiced stashing things away in 2 minutes or less, I used to think that was abnormal. It not, thatÂs why most do not want others to drop by with calling first. I am feeling you sister. I was traumatized the day my dear sister-in law told me she was in the process of cleaning under her refrigerator. How do you factor that task in? I would rather be doing, well almost anything else, but housework. The whole subject of cleaning makes me hungry. For me the first real step in dealing with the whole thing was reading these posts. You see, you are not alone. The second is following the good advice from Tally- Sue and all the others who have been there too. The third is accepting that, like brushing your teeth, it just bugs you until you deal with it and afterward you can forget about. I sometimes get up real earlier in the morning just to clean and listen to a movie. Even if I spend the time on the forum at least my day starts earlier and the work does get done, eventually. For me the real big change came, when I started replacing all the old things that I could never could get clean. When I felt the pressure from DH to do more, or to switch my concentration to some dismal task, I started throwing things out. I mean I went crazy and decided, I was not going to deal with the un-removable 15 minute scrub down of my toilet anymore so I threw the toilet out,( and got a new one )I did the same with the nasty uncleanable toaster and the smelly old microwave, then the wall to wall carpet. I only have things around me that I really love and are new and crisp. So when I spend time cleaning it looks clean. I want to keep things looking clean. Instead of bringing the mountain of clothes upstairs I leave it in the basement. I clean between commercial breaks now. When I get that creepy feeling that DH thinks I wasted my day doing "nothing" I leave the kids with him for a few hours and go to the library. Ususally when I get back, he "gets its". I hope you continue to enjoy your garden and your kids, and I hope you keep us posted on your plan of attack!...See MoreI feed her, I walk her, I brush her, I take her for car rides,
Comments (18)When they were teens (17 and 18) we bought one daughter a puppy and got the other a kitten. We still have two pets, tho the younger daughter has moved into her own apartment. That dog misses her so-she waits at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door, hoping DD will come home. She never does. When she does stop by (a couple times a week) the dog goes bananas with joy, jumping and running all around. Even tho I am the one who always feeds her, lets her in and out, brushes her, and allow her to come up on my bed antime she wants. Go figure!...See MoreSD14 wants to live with us....her mom making her feel guilty
Comments (32)tos~ How she and her best friends have maintained their friendship, despite the miles, is a source of amazement to all of us. They have a very special relationship and they are all so close. I was just speaking to one of the other mothers last pm, and we both continue to marvel at the strength of their bond. They make it a point to spend lots of time together whenever they can (when she's here for visits). My stepson is best friends with the 2 older brothers in the families, and we adults are friendly as well...have occasional cookouts, pool parties, etc. Although, I think the kids friendship has fostered the adult/family gatherings.... As far as her friends in NC...the majority of her non-school time is spent in dance class, so she is friendly with the girls she dances with. But she says that she really doesn't have any super-close school friends that she "hangs out with", etc. She rarely has sleepovers or talks of anything she does with other kids there. Mostly she is at the dance studio...she's a very accomplished dancer. Lack of good friends there was actually one of the things she discussed when she brought up the idea of coming here for high school. So tos, it's your turn....are you a step-parent? Are you a NCP? What would you have told your daughter in the "hypothetical" situation I posted?...seriously WWYD? Like you, I have no intention of EVER divorcing, but I can "imagine" what I'd do if I were faced with a similar situation....so, please, tell us what you'd say. For the record, my DH fought the move in court. Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and spousal infidelity has NO bearing on custody, whatsoever. Michigan is VERY pro-mom, despite the fact the courts say they have no "gender bias". Essentially, the only time a mother does not win custody is if she can be deemed "unfit", due to drugs or extreme circumstances. Even homeless mothers win custody here...since we have many women/children shelters, etc. It's really disturbing that the courts do not really have the best interest of the child as their main focus. At the time of his ex-wife's affair, the children were ages 1 & 4. Since they were babies (toddler) he felt that the kids should stay in their home, and with his work schedule at the time, it just made more sense for her to stay in the house. He got an apartment closeby with the understanding that it would be temporary while they "worked on it". Obviously, the outcome was different than the plan. Trust me, if he could have changed the outcome of the custody situation, he would have. Initially, they had joint custody, 50/50 split. When she decided to move, she filed for sole physical, joint legal. He fought it and lost. The judge thought that her soon-to-be new husbands job promotion was more important than children having close, easy access to both parents. That was the sole deciding factor...her husbands increased income. So they can use spouse income to decided custody, but they won't use it to calculate child support...go figure...great court system....See Moreilovecomputers
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