SHOP PRODUCTS
Houzz Logo Print
phoggie

Article I saw today....written by a FL teacher

phoggie
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago

Okay, I’ll be the bad guy and say what no one else is brave enough to say, but wants to say. I’ll take all the criticism and attacks from everyone because you know what? I’m a TEACHER. I live this life daily. And I wouldn’t do anything else! But I also know daily I could end up in an active shooter situation.

Until we, as a country, are willing to get serious and talk about mental health issues, lack of available care for the mental health issues, lack of discipline in the home, horrendous lack of parental support when the schools are trying to control horrible behavior at school (oh no! Not MY KID. What did YOU do to cause my kid to react that way?), lack of moral values, and yes, I’ll say it-violent video games that take away all sensitivity to ANY compassion for others’ lives, as well as reality TV that makes it commonplace for people to constantly scream up in each others’ faces and not value any other person but themselves, we will have a gun problem in school. Our kids don’t understand the permanency of death anymore!!!

I grew up with guns. Everyone knows that. But you know what? My parents NEVER supported any bad behavior from me. I was terrified of doing something bad at school, as I would have not had a life until I corrected the problem and straightened my ass out. My parents invaded my life. They knew where I was ALL the time. They made me have a curfew. They made me wake them up when I got home. They made me respect their rules. They had full control of their house, and at any time could and would go through every inch of my bedroom, backpack, pockets, anything! Parents: it’s time to STEP UP! Be the parent that actually gives a crap! Be the annoying mom that pries and knows what your kid is doing. STOP being their friend. They have enough “friends” at school. Be their parent. Being the “cool mom” means not a damn thing when either your kid is dead or your kid kills other people because they were allowed to have their space and privacy in YOUR HOME. I’ll say it again. My home was filled with guns growing up. For God’s sake, my daddy was an 82nd Airborne Ranger who lost half his face serving our country. But you know what? I never dreamed of shooting anyone with his guns. I never dreamed of taking one! I was taught respect for human life, compassion, rules, common decency, and most of all, I was taught that until I moved out, my life and bedroom wasn’t mine...it was theirs. And they were going to know what was happening because they loved me and wanted the best for me.

There. Say that I’m a horrible person. I didn’t bring up gun control, and I will refuse to debate it with anyone. This post wasn’t about gun control. This was me, loving the crap out of people and wanting the best for them. This was about my school babies and knowing that God created each one for greatness, and just wanting them to reach their futures. It’s about 20 years ago this year I started my teaching career. Violence was not this bad 20 years ago. Lack of compassion wasn’t this bad 20 years ago. And God knows 20 years ago that I wasn’t afraid daily to call a parent because I KNEW that 9 out of 10 would cuss me out, tell me to go to Hell, call the news on me, call the school board on me, or post all over FaceBook about me because I called to let them know what their child chose to do at school...because they are a NORMAL kid!!!!!

Those 17 lives mattered. When are we going to take our own responsibility seriously?

Comments (33)

  • Rusty
    6 years ago

    I'm not a teacher, but everything this person said makes complete and total sense. It echoes my feelings exactly! I wish you would have included where you saw the article, and the name of the person who wrote it, if it was published.

    Thank you for sharing it!

    Rusty

    phoggie thanked Rusty
  • Iris S (SC, Zone 7b)
    6 years ago

    Very powerful letter.

    phoggie thanked Iris S (SC, Zone 7b)
  • Related Discussions

    For Joan MN_FL

    Q

    Comments (4)
    I love the bird sanctuary, too. The time we visited it was getting toward evening and the roseated spoonbills were all nesting in a tree. The tree looked like it had huge pink flowers all over it. Just beautiful! I agree, they'll love it. The St. Pete Times had an article today about getting off the beaten (concrete) path and one of the places mentioned was the Ocala National Forest trails. Geez, I haven't even been there yet!!
    ...See More

    Teacher gives student lapdance in classroom!

    Q

    Comments (16)
    alice, many private sector employers do background checks for new hires. Are they 100% effective? No, of course not, but they serve as a deterrent. Not more than 6 months ago, there was a teacher (I think in SoCal) arrested for having inappropriate contact with a student. The criminal check unearthed two prior convictions for the same thing in other states. Duh! Do you think that district or others have changed hiring practices since this incident occurred? I'll bet not. Colleen, I don't believe human behavior has changed much over the years. People like to point to external factors for blame rather than put responsibility where it belongs. The peers my kids knew who made poor choices, often had inappropriate behavior and got into trouble often had parents of the same description. It was the example they had to follow. People do what people do. Societal mores change and what's acceptable conduct changes too, not always for the better. Reality is something to deal with, not to deny, ignore or bemoan.
    ...See More

    Atala butterflies, once thought extinct in FL, winging back

    Q

    Comments (16)
    I'm sorry, I don't know why I linked the coffee article. But yes, spraying mealy bugs with the coffee tea will kill them on contact. Same thing with aphids, spider mites, and thrips. I'm growing hot peppers and aphids can be a problem. It works well. The softer the plant, the better putting used coffee grounds on the soil will kill aphids, etc. systemically. It lasts about 4-5 months. Same thing for hibiscus and other soft plants. I know it's the same article, but this is what I meant to link: http://cycadjungle.mysite.com/cycadjungle/The%20Coontie%20of%20Florida.html There are other helpful cycad cultivation articles for anyone interested in the cycad part of this subject. The back button should go there. The Never Throw Away a Cycad article shows how you can micro propagate a coontie if anyone dares. The fertilizer article shows how you can get them to flush more often.
    ...See More

    German shepherd sells $31 million mansion in FL

    Q

    Comments (3)
    It's all a publicity story. Here's the rest of it. https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/millionaire-dog-selling-miami-villa-owned-madonna-rcna6014
    ...See More
  • happy2b…gw
    6 years ago

    I am a retired teacher and now a substitute teacher. The teacher who wrote the article Phoggie shared stated what teachers have been saying for years. It is about time they are listened to and respected. . We need to take a long hard honest look at our society and values.

    phoggie thanked happy2b…gw
  • Elmer J Fudd
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    I don't understand why this person thinks that what their personal and family views and experiences are and were, have anything at all to do with a major nationwide societal and political problem we have. They don't. If she's saying "this is how I feel and why I'm ignorant and indifferent to any other perspectives", fine, we can ignore her in return as she ignores others and move on. Otherwise, nice story, so what?

    I like how the second paragraph speaks so passionately about the need to address the mental health problem now an epidemic we have. I'd hope she'd also have the sense to see the parallel to the gun problem now an epidemic we also have but apparently not.

  • PKponder TX Z7B
    6 years ago

    Phoggie, I support your views completely!!!


    Thank you for being brave and saying what needs to be said.

    phoggie thanked PKponder TX Z7B
  • Georgysmom
    6 years ago

    I hadn't read your post, phoggie before I posted, but I agree with you 100%.

    phoggie thanked Georgysmom
  • PRO
    Anglophilia
    6 years ago

    I do believe that parents have a huge responsibility for much of this today. Somehow, they just don't think that once a child goes to school, they are still their 24/7 responsibility.

    As for the family that the Cruz boy was living with - who the heck allows ANY houseguest of ANY age to bring along their automatic rifle!!! What on earth were they thinking? I don't care if they felt sorry for him. I hope there is a way to prosecute these people.

    There is a reason out laws have a set age for the age of majority. Frankly, I thought it was a bad idea when it was moved from 21 to 18 - this was due to the unpopular Vietnam War and the draft at age 18. It should be taken back to 21.

    I have a very mature almost 18 year old grandson, but he's not ready to live totally independently (college is not independent living, if in a dorm with a meal plan). As independent as he is (and he's been very independent for years), I think college is going to be a surprise for him; he's used to independence with a very firm support system behind him on a daily basis. I think he's going to miss that.

    phoggie thanked Anglophilia
  • Elizabeth
    6 years ago

    Here is an article about a possible school shooting prevented by an involved Grandmother:

    https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/15/us/grandmother-foils-school-shooting-plan-everett-trnd/index.html

    It had to be devastating for her, but she did the right thing.

    phoggie thanked Elizabeth
  • lgmd_gaz
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    To phoggie's post, I say, Amen!!

    phoggie thanked lgmd_gaz
  • arcy_gw
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    There are programs at the ready to be implemented that face head on the mental illness in students. Administrators and school boards are reluctant to put them in place. We as taxpayers are willing to throw THOUSANDS of dollars on "education" all the while ignoring the disaster home lives are creating in these same students. Schools are powerless to get into these homes where these issues develop. Access to social media is fueling the violence and anger these kids feel. They are becoming entitled and empowered to act on their aggressive feelings. Teen angst has been around for decades but society has increasingly become a place where feelings are rage are celebrated on the nightly news. It is no wonder our teens are following suit.


    http://www.thereachteam.org/

    phoggie thanked arcy_gw
  • ladypat1
    6 years ago

    I too, am a retired, still substituting teacher, and agree with everything Phoggie says. But no one listens to us. We spend more time with students than parents, but we don’t know anything...........

    phoggie thanked ladypat1
  • User
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Thought to ponder: what is the difference between a gun and a knife?

    Also, can someone share a link to the article?

  • sonni1
    6 years ago

    Not being snarky - but how does ranting help? I understand that teachers are frustrated and I know how unruly classrooms can be. Are parents entirely to blame? Parenting occurs within the context of societal norms, economic pressures and cultural values. We all play a role. I will go out on the limb here and suggest that thoughtful, insightful dialogue would go further to improve attitudes and promote cooperation than public venting.

  • Chi
    6 years ago

    Bad parenting happens everywhere, but school shootings don't. If parenting, or video games, or lack of discipline, or whatever else was to blame, we would see the same results elsewhere.

    The only difference between our society and much of the world is our gun culture, and the fact that we have continual mass shootings. These two things are connected.

  • mamapinky0
    6 years ago

    Not all kids pick up a gun and kill.....so which kids are most likely to do this.

    phoggie thanked mamapinky0
  • nickel_kg
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    quote from first paragraph: "Our kids don’t understand the permanency of death anymore!!!"

    Not that many generations ago, infectious disease impacted -- fatally -- every family. It was not considered unusual for a mother to die shortly after childbirth. My parents were born in the 20's and 30's. They were the first generation in my family to not lose a child. I was the first generation to not even fear losing a child to preventable disease.

    So I wonder how much unfamiliarity with real world death has impacted society. Some things, there's just no way of knowing.

    phoggie thanked nickel_kg
  • FlamingO in AR
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    It was written by Kelly Guthrie Raley of Eustis FL. I think she made several excellent points and I think she is brave for saying it. I’m sure she’ll face a lot of blowback over it. No pun intended.

    phoggie thanked FlamingO in AR
  • graywings123
    6 years ago

    Scott, if you want to learn more about the person who wrote the letter, copy and paste the first sentence of the text into google. It's a teacher who also lives in Florida.

    As for those who think they have identified the problem here, now tell us how to go about fixing things, within the confines of the US Constitution, which among other things gives us freedom of speech, freedom of or from religion, and freedom to be secure in our homes.

    phoggie thanked graywings123
  • Chi
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Ok. Require all gun purchases to include a thorough background check, fingerprinting, intense psychological screening by a licensed individual, and a long waiting period. The Constitution gives the right to bear arms but not the right to pick one up easily and cheaply at the local Walmart.

    Responsible citizens can still get their guns, and there will be extra layers of protection.

    Yes, there will still be illegal guns, but that is already the case. A lot of these shooters bought their guns legally. Why make it any easier for them?

  • nicole___
    6 years ago

    It's a good article. I appreciate the perspective, giving parental responsibility a place in the solution to this problem. I respect the thought and perspective the author places on failed parenting. Interesting. Thanks for posting it.

    phoggie thanked nicole___
  • lisaw2015 (ME)
    6 years ago

    This showed up this morning on my FB feed, bravo to her for saying what so many of us school staff feel.

    phoggie thanked lisaw2015 (ME)
  • blfenton
    6 years ago

    Did anyone see the mom on tv last night whose 14 year old daughter was killed in the school shooting. I don't know how it started but she wound up with the reporters mic and tore a strip off of trump and anyone else she could. It was heart-wrenching to listen to her. I don't know if it's available on video or not.

  • linda_6
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    I think it's time to rethink schools. Either home school or have your kids go to school online. This will eliminate all threats. No more threats, bullying and putting up with bad teachers or bad kids. This world isn't like it used to be back in the day. It's time to start thinking of the future.

    phoggie thanked linda_6
  • marilyn_c
    6 years ago

    I saw the video, blfenton.

    Phoggie, I agree. I stay out of these debates because there is a lot I don't understand.....like, where is the indignation for cities like Chicago and Baltimore, which have such high murder rates? (And gun control). And the Virginia Tech shooting....the guy used a revolver. To me, it is not the weapon that was used as much as it is a about an individual....a crazy, heartless piece of trash....not politically correct to call him that...but I could call him a lot worse. Criminals will always find a way to carry out their sick, demented deeds. You could do anything you want to stop the purchase of any firearm. The criminals will always find a way to get them. People who have guns and wouldn't think of breaking the law, are not a threat to anyone, and, speaking of slipping thru the cracks....did not the FBI get warned about him...including his name? Were they too busy trying to defend Hillary Clinton and pin something on Trump, to fully investigate this? And what could be done, if they had found him anyway? I don't think there is a way to stop these kinds of things for 100% sure. It is a sad state of affairs and the bodies aren't even cold when the gun control debate starts up again.


    phoggie thanked marilyn_c
  • User
    6 years ago

    I think this incident ties into the idea that kids do not think that death is permanent, but in fact, because of the fluidity of cyberspace which I think blurs moral boundaries by its very nature: the Karen Klein bus bullying incident. Anyone remember? And one of the perpetrators recently assaulted a disabled classmate after his sentence of community service and suspension. And the parents of course knew nothing, had not idea their child, the main instigator, was ... let's face it, as far as I am concerned, a potential criminal/domestic violence perpetrator, perhaps even an amoral sociopath. The fact that these kids thought it was acceptable to post the video as "comedy" on youtube shows a complete ignorance of basic human dignity and respect.

    I link to an article about the incident. I will not link to the video. It is profoundly disturbing. I wrote an opinion piece I've got somewhere about this incident.

    As far as I was concerned, this incident was an attempted murder through language:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_monitor_bullying_video

    phoggie thanked User
  • phoggie
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    Agree with you, Marilyn-c! Yes, this young adult was reported to the FBI quite some time ago...so sad that they do not follow up on the information given to them...it happens far too often.

  • chisue
    6 years ago

    Re: Chicago.

    The city DID have good gun laws, and they worked until they were struck down by lawsuits, brought by pro-gun people arguing inflated Second Amendment 'rights'. (That worked for them. Gangs bought more guns. Citizens bought more guns to protect themselves. The gun lobby got to crow over the carnage.)

    Nationwide gun restrictions work in other first world nations with populations similar to ours. Piecemeal -- city by city, or state by state -- law enforcement cannot be effective when a straw buyer can bring in guns from the lax-law cities and states 'next door'.

    The vast majority of shootings in Chicago are gang-related, many are within a square mile of gang territory on the city's SE side. Gangs compete among a cowed population of poor people without hope of making a good living honestly.

    The *number* of gun deaths in Chicago is a function of the huge population of the city. Other American cities have higher per capita gun deaths. Last I looked, Chicago was not in the top ten.

    Take a look. Compare the killings and suicides by guns in US cities with those in other first world nations that restrict guns.

  • Yayagal
    6 years ago

    I totally agree with the online letter. Parents have to step up.

    phoggie thanked Yayagal
  • moonie_57 (8 NC)
    6 years ago

    From what I understand, this kid was not reported to the FBI "quite some time ago". The FBI was contacted on 1/5/18... 6 weeks ago. Nothing concerning the gov happens that quickly. Would they have, in time, checked further into this guy? If it was simply dismissed, never to be checked out, then someone within that local agency has some explaining to do.


  • phoggie
    Original Author
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Moonie, from all I have heard, the FBI does have some explaining to do! .... and I will try to find the articles that states that the FBI was first notified about Cruz in September.

  • moonie_57 (8 NC)
    6 years ago

    Apparently it was my error from an earlier report, phoggie. I just saw on CNN that the FBI was first notified 5 months ago.

  • susie53_gw
    6 years ago

    I have a daughter that teaches 4th grade in a city school. She sees students that need help every school year. Sadly, the parents do not agree. She had a young boy that created havoc in the classroom every day. She tried so hard to help him. He would walk up to her face to face and say to her, “you don’t like me, do you?” She always told him yes she liked him but not some of the things he was doing in her classroom. On numerous occasions he would say to her, “kiss my ass.” Finally,after months of this she took him by the hand and went directly to the office and stood in front of the principal and said, “ he is no longer in my class, he is your problem. I have asked for help so many times and I am now done, I am finished with his disrupting my class on a daily basis.” As long as my daughter put up with it nothing was getting done. She finally ended it. The mom was contacted so many times and would not allow them to do anything with him. That is what teachers are facing. If the parents say no then you are stuck. A lot of parents don’t care these days. If someone else is willing to watch their kids they are ok with it.. parents need to wake the hell up. Teaching children right from wrong starts in infancy, not when they start to school and it becomes someone else’s problem. Guns don’t kill anyone until someone picks it up and pulls the trigger. Stricter guns laws won’t help the problem. If someone wants a gun they will get one. Legal or not. It breaks my heart to hear this happened to these families. I pray for them each and every day. I’m not sure anyone knows the answer. Let’s hope one is found.

    phoggie thanked susie53_gw