Oh, KYgirl--Big hugs coming from me, too. I haven't been on his forum in a while because I've been dealing with our own build from He$$, and I didn't read all the responses in this thread, but I did read your original post. We've just gone through something very, very similar--different problems, but similar in scope, jerk of a builder, almost no on-site supervision, several horrible subs, lots of stress and tears. It has been horrible. We ended up moving into our house ten days ago while it was still unfinished because of having to be out of our rental, reaching our bank deadline for closing, etc. I just wrote you a long post, but realized that it ended up being about me, not you--and this is your thread! So, I guess I just want to say that I sympathize with you, and I think I understand a lot of what you must be feeling. It's a good day if I haven't cried more than once before 9 a.m.! This has been the most stressful, unpleasant experience of our lives. Friends will say, "Oh, you must be so excited to be in your house," and I feel like a spoiled brat if I don't respond positively. It has been a nightmare. There's still lots to be done here, dh and I are doing and/or redoing stuff that we've already paid contractors to do, but they either did a crappy job or haven't been showing up. It just sucks. As badly as I feel for you, reading your post at least made me feel as though I'm not the only one who has gone through this and I thought you might want to know you're not alone. The old misery loves company routine, I guess! Take care of yourself, and try not to let it get you down--I know how hard it is, but if we don't look at the positive side, we'll go completely crazy. Although, at least you could then plead insanity when you're charged with killing Mr. Peanut!

I wrote this to try to get help with my family or what is left of it. This is the first time I ever posted anything on this forum. So instead of getting help I am getting feed back based on the notion I am a teenager or the same person that wrote something on a wedding. The real issue is that a young girl of 17 has manipulated her entire family to the point that she is now posting blogs on how the ruin your parents life and get anything you want while you do it. Again she doesn't want to spend time with her father her real mother or anyone she justs wants to do what she wants to do.. She is entering her senior year and has no job doesn't want to go to college her father lost his job and he is going into over twenty thousand dollars of credit card debt to continue to keep her in clothes and jewelry he can't nor never could afford he never made more than fifty or sixty thousand dollars a year. He has no health benefits he depends on me and now that she is living with her grandmother I don't even know if she is eligible to stay under my health benefits. She is dating a drug dealer and there is nothing I can do or say about it. Her father says he believes her when she says he never carries drugs or deals drugs when he is with her. Tell me does this seem odd to anyone? I now don't want her in my home anymore in fear that she will bring this home. So since I last wrote these new developments have changed things If my husband doesn't disciple her and I cant how can I let her be around my children or in my home. I love my husband but I have an obligation to keep my children safe and under the new circumstances having her in my home isn't an option.. MY children informed me she was bring drugs in the house and when my son found out he told her he was not only going to tell us but call the police. I am sure she brings things into my mother-in-laws house she is 65 and doesn't speak much English. So although I love my husband my life may have to be on hold until she is 18 in June. She wants to go out and be discovered she is considering working at Disney a character for experience for acting. That is today tomorrow who knows. If I sound bitter I am. I gave this child love, a home, clothes and anything she could want.Including consistence and rules. I was her only parent five to six days a week. Now she has total freedom because know one knows what she does she can lie and they believe it. The fact that she is writing this on her new facebook which her father does think she has since the time she put up naked pictures of her self.Tells you she is really something If she put this to good I swear she could rival Donald Trump

I am new to this forum - this is my first post. I am a 29-year old SD...and, maybe, future-SM. I have been in a serious relationship for the past year with a wonderful man who has two young daughters who live several states away with their BM. I adore them and enjoy spending time with them every month or two, and the BM and I get along fine. The posts on this forum have been incredibly insightful and I have discussed many of the issues with my BF. But, I want to address the question about my relationship with my SM. The further I progress down the road to potential SM-hood, and the more I examine the issues that many stepfamilies face, the more I have sympathy for some of what my SM probably went through, i.e. my considering my father's house as solely his and not hers, etc. (My parents divorced when I was 8, SM came on the scene as GF when I was 14, and married my father when I was 23.) I was a typical teenager with a bad, confrontational attitude. I will probably be cursed with the same kids someday - LOL. I am a fair person and I always apologize when I go the wrong way, irrespective of whether the person overall "deserves" it. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. However, my SM was one my brother and I saw through from the beginning. She is racist, materialistic, and gives the most conditional of love - meaning, as long as you like the same things and hold the same philosophies she does, all is well in the world. Express a different opinion, and she clams up with her smug smile and says nothing. I have never met a more judgmental, bigoted person in all my life. Imagine that with a confrontational teenager...provacations galore. It shocks me that my dad has never seen his side of her (he sees her good attributes and she does have them, like a keen sense of history for example). I disliked her from the beginning because she trash-talked my mother (who she had never met) and told lies about me to my father. It took her many years to acknowledge and apologize (albeit indirectly) for her behavior...it is also something my father to this day is not comfortable discussing with me. Guess it would make it harder to stay married to a bigoted liar!! She has also abused his financial trust to the point where they now have "separate" finances (what a joke - they live in CA). It is unfortunate that my father puts whatever faith he has left in her to manage his affairs should the time come, and as of a few years back had neither a living will nor trust. At the end of the day, I accept my SM because she tries hard to make my father's life happy, and easier. She does a lot of things for him. I realize it is not my business that she moved into a house my father saved for his whole life and decorated it with her gazillion crappy knick-knacks - to each her own!! I find their dynamic stressful and upsetting, and their arguments and nit-picking seem to have escalated more over the years. The gift of my own aging has shown me that parents are just people, and we live cross-country now and have limited time together. They cannot tell me what makes me happy any more than I can tell them. Our relationship has changed from an authoritarian, parenting-style to one of adults who see each other at holidays and consult about important decisions. Another key is that she has demonstrated to me how NOT to be a SM. I pledged from my heart, from the beginning that I would never trash-talk my BF's daughters' BM (and ex-wife), and that I would deal with issues related to custody, finances, etc. with much more dignity and unconditional love than I was shown by my SM if and when the time comes. Finally, I understand why she was given to me in my life!! Feels good to pop out and say something here, after so many months. Best to you all!

fiveinall In CA, there is a time limit of 60 months on welfare and there is no additional money to children born while aided. (the new children can get food stamps and medical/medicaid though). I completely agree with the new rules, which also require parents to either be working or in school... something leading to self sufficiency. The downside is that there are those that claim disability to avoid the work/school requirements... the most common disability I saw was mental health disorders, usually ADD/ADHD, depression and bi polar. Yet, some continued to have children, even though they knew they would not get more money. That meant the existing children were in greater peril because now a check meant for 2 people is supporting 3 or more. The check, in my opinion, isn't enough for 2, so stretching it to support more means they all suffer because of it. So, while I agree they needed welfare reform and I agree with being harsh to force people to take responsibility, it doesn't prevent some people from ignoring common sense and creating children they can't take care of. On the issue of welfare & the mental health issues claimed by welfare recipients, it doesn't surprise me when they are depressed. When you have more children than you can take care of, no job, little/no education, you have no hope and are likely going to be depressed. Personally, I think ADD/ADHD and bi polar are over-diagnosed and even if they are appropriately diagnosed, there are medications/treatments that don't have to render the person 'disabled' so they can sit home collecting welfare.