New Years Greetings all!!

Last year about this time I posted 100 quotes from some of the forums (Building a Home, Renovations, Kitchens and Design Dilemma) for the 2016 year. It was a fun outlet for my creativity and looked like it was fairly well
received so, with one reservation, I decided to do it again this year.

As some of you know, I love lists.reading them and composing them. And I’ll say what I said last year that this list IS composed, the order is not random nor is the number arbitrary. Creating a great list is a no different task then creating say, a short story or a poem. A creative list has to be short enough so not to bore but long enough to have weight. Seriousness enough for importance but funny enough for laughs. Ordered enough for sub themes, but
random enough to keep interest. Light enough to poke fun but heavy enough for lessons.

The number of 100 is critical. Sure, some might say it’s arbitrary but at the same time for any good list to have weight there has to be a constraint so the list doesn’t get boring or watered down. I pared it down from over 300 which was difficult but at the same time a creative outlet for me. If I selected one quote for inclusion in the 100, it meant another had to go. So if somebody remembers reading something that’s not here, it’s very likely not that I didn’t see and flag it, but very likely it became a victim of creative crafting.

Therefore, I had a big reservation this second year, almost to the point of not posting this. Last year no one knew I was collecting these all year so there was no “I know the list is 100 but I thought this was mildly amusing also” add- ons thereby entirely missing the point of a limited list. Last year’s list remained as it was intended, an undiluted, standalone composition without morphing into something like the monthly “Build” thread.

Of course for anyone who was inspired by my effort last year and flagged some quotes over the year, they are entirely welcome and encouraged to start a thread with their own list. As a fan of lists, not only would I be flattered to have inspired, I’d love reading your lists!

And trust me, it would have been far easier to just haphazardly slap up all 300 willy-nilly without any creativity, thought, crafting or order and call it a day. After all, any fifth grader can do that. But I looked for a composed 100 to become a greater sum than a haphazard 300 much the same as a well designed house is greater than the
sum of the walls and roof. So, since last year went well, I really hope my list accomplishes that, doesn’t degenerate into the latter in the replies and simply enjoyed by everyone for what it is just like last year’s list.

Ok, with that said, hope everyone enjoys it and thanks to everyone for all the great material!! After all you all are the authors!!! With the exception of the one with the photo and the “bonus” section, no thread is represented twice, another criteria I had for creating my list, and why some other quotes may not be here. Also, last year, none of the quotes are mine but I included one this year.

And there’s a subtle joke embedded within my list this year. Another outlet for my creativity so please read carefully! The first person who sees it gets a free original ARG “cloud drawing”.

And finally, I kept the same anonymity format as last year but if anyone recognizes their words I don’t want my format to stop anyone from jumping in and claiming a number…. or two! Last year worked well that way I thought.

So here’s wishing everyone here a Happy New Year and for 2018 may everyone’s projects come in under budget and ahead of schedule!!

1. “I love these threads because of all the complete preposterous of it all.”

2. “Ask all the silly seeming questions you like. No one minds at all, and it avoids countless silly actions.”

3. “Ooooh boy....The homes you posted are "fat" plans. Fat plans often mean an expensive, out of proportion roof, and little natural light to interior spaces.”

4. “This list is too fat and as a result, dark.” A comment about last year’s list here:
http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/4358901/2016-the-year-in-100-quotes?n=30

5. “We are building an addition to our split level. Somehow I feel like architect didn't manage to blend the existing with the new and create one whole look. What is it that I'm feeling but can't put my finger on?" [emphasis mine]

6. “It looks like two totally separate houses with a common wall. How did you get this far
and not realize this? What on earth was your architect thinking!”

7. “This was an ARCHITECT?”

8. “I see creategoodsinks is now offering a 72" and 81" sink--holy moly, who needs a soaker tub when you can just hop into the kitchen sink?!”

9. “You can do [the bathroom] in 11k. Or spend 11k on just the tub”.

10. “I sympathize with ya brother. We wanted to be in before my baby was born too. He's 6 weeks old and we haven't broken ground yet.”

11. “Ok granted, it's not as bad as some stock plans. But don't try to convert a t-shirt into a tux. Yes, if you cut and sew enough, then squint at it, it will be a tux. but you'd rather get one tailored.”

12. “Building a house is a good time to let dreams run wild. Too many people settle for other people's dreams.”

13. “Don't accept mediocrity if you don't have to.”

14. “That front protruding 3 car garage will overwhelm the house. A house in our neighborhood was just recently build with this configuration and all you see is garage. The rest of the house is just lost. The neighbors call it 'The Garage Mahal'.”

15. “Are you sure this isn't a service station with some incidental space attached? Because the house looks built around storing cars.”

16. “How did I get to be 73 years old and not realize how "dangerous" an attached garage might be! Horse feathers.”

17. “In ARG's original, you start the day by waking up to a beautiful view of the pergola. And even if the pergola is empty (I always envision pergolas with trailing roses, lol), it sure beats the pants off theview of.......the shower wall.”

18. “Just found the forums and would be interested in any opinions, critiques, suggestions on house plans that are in process. Look forward to the feedback, good and bad. :)” And
the OP’s final post after all the comments: “I think we may trash this and start over”

19. “Hi Everyone! I appreciate all the feedback but I'm not sure what to say. I didn't think the original elevation was that terrible, but now I'm freaking out somewhat.”

20. “Not an architect but a fellow agonizer.:) Once you start reading about what is right and wrong you start seeing things.”

21. “I am terrified that I am going to make a mistake…..so would be so appreciative of any feedback on this.”

22. “Congratulations. You've been the most epic whipping boy I've witnessed on this forum. I've gone through bags of popcorn reading through your three threads.”

23.Final comment by an OP asking for plan comments: “This thread has become like a train wreck to me. I can't stop looking at the replies.”

24. “You have a Big Mac from McDonald's and you have come to a foodie forum to ask about how you can make it better by getting 3 pickles instead of 2”.

25. “May I congratulate you on taking the feedback your received in the way it was intended, as helpful, rather than simply getting offended. I wish more posters were like you!”

26. “On this forum we are pretty brutal at times. This is one of those times.”

27. “If all you wanted was validation, you've come to the wrong spot.”

28. Thread title: “Exterior Idea Help” Reply: “Two words: chain saw”.

29. “We live in Florida so we don't need a coat closet because people in Florida don't wear anything.”

30. “Architects were designing cathedrals when physicians were using leeches.”

31. “It's our custom home. Good question, I’m not sure who designed it!”

32. “We met with an architect once, and frankly, we hated his first draft.”

33. “It's like Punky Brewster grew up and decided to become an architect”.

33. “Ask seven architects to calculate the square footage of a building and you will get eight different answers.”

34. “You sure you are working with an architect?” Reply: “Not just an architect, but a budget too!”

35. “I would be VERY alarmed if my architect gave this plan to me. It has so many obvious problems”

36. “I agree, though, it sounds like your architect is a dud.”

37. “I don't trust my architect's opinion on anything design related. I've learned that we don't have similar taste. I trust him on the structural elements but not the visual/aesthetic. It’s unfortunate but that is why I'm here on gardenweb!”

38. “We worked with an architect for a while & it was not a great experience...we need 2200 to 2400 sq ft & we kept getting plans that were 2900 to 3400 sq ft”

39. “Definitely not just trying to defend our architect. We are plenty frustrated. We must be at 17 drafts by now.” Reply: “17 drafts with no elevations or second floor? Perhaps your architect is taking advantage of you?”

40. “Isn't it a shame that no one seems to know what the heck an architect actually does??? Before lurking on these forums, I had no idea of *half* of what they did, lol.”

41. Comment: "Doncha just love how architects talk among themselves..." Reply: “I find the more the speech is slurred the better the conversation goes.”

42. “I think you guys talking about large roofs looking ridiculous must be from another part
of the country as they are very common here. Reply: “Just because it's common doesn't mean it looks good.”

43. “Would you consider simplifying the look a bit? Those things around the windows, do not add beauty. They add weirdness.”

44. “The windows need work. Don't think of them being placed, think of them being orchestrated.”

45. “Is there really a window seat in the powder room? Does anyone, anywhere, curl up in a window seat in the powder room with a good book?”

46. “Room color suggestions:

Foyer: Old Shoes

Living room: Time To Go Home

Dining room: Dog's Lunch

Kitchen: Burnt Toast

Bedroom: Insomnia

Nursery: Dirty Diaper

Exterior color: Go Away

Pantry: Month Old Bread”

47. “Love the windowless kitchen in the middle of the first floor. That keeps the cook's mind on her work instead of lallygagging around flirting with the pool boy.”

48. . “Maybe it's just me. One of my pet peeves is getting trapped in a corner at a social gathering listening to a drunk relative expound on politics that differ from mine. This kitchen has tons of potential for that.”

49. “You need a kitchen designer. Don't rely on your architect. There must be 50 ways to make this better.”

50. “Your architect doesn’t cook. And he takes a bit of a sadistic delight in punishing those who do cook.”

51. “You need a landscape designer…. Giving a 3 year-old a running chainsaw and a 16 oz Red Bull would be less irresponsible than trying to design the proper solution based off a couple of photos.”

52. “Not often I see a floor plan that makes me want to slap the designer.”

53. “A McMansion is to architecture what Thomas Kincaide was to the art world.”

54. “Conspicuous consumption on steroids.”

55. “The original design is a drum set falling down a flight of stairs.”

56. “Are you truly equating the study of cardiology to that of architecture? How many different and creative ways would you like your cardiologist to perform your quadruple bypass?”

57. “I actually don't think the law firm is the best analogy, as you're asking for something very different from an architect. But to use that analogy, I imagine most clients don't come in saying, "I want you to file for a type whatever injunction using this specific argument, and also make motions x, y, and z. Do you see a problem with that?" Rather, they come in saying they want a will, or they want to make a competitor stop using their trademark, or they want compensation from the person who ran over their fence. The lawyer then figures out the best path to get to their goal. You're trying to figure out what motions to file, rather than just stating your desired end goal and letting the expert pick the path.”

58. “There is no shame in consulting the right Pro for the right job. The only shame is letting pride get in the way of a better collaborative end result.”

59. " ‘Nicely finished’ was mentioned several times. How about starting with ‘well designed’?”

60. “We assumed the builder and contractors had everything correct.”

61. “He [the contractor] said after 10 months they'd come back and make us happy. Unfortunately, it seems like the story is changing now.”

62. Thread title:”What software do you use to design your plans with?” Reply: “To design I use my head :)”

63.”It appears you have the same thing I had. A draftsman who is calling themselves a designer. Someone who learned how to do a CAD program, but a CAD program is just that, a program. Design skill comes from that other computer, the brain.”

64,”Pencil, ruler and paper is all you need to design virtually anything. Computers programs are simply tools to help firm up one's design.”

65. “And, I might add, the "quality without a name" doesn't exist in anyone's CAD program. You don't push F3 to apply the spirit.”

66. “I'm sorry but getting a CAD program doesn't make you a designer any more than if I got a stethoscope it would make me a doctor.”

67. “He could do competent drawings of whatever you told him you wanted. He could not do something you didn't even KNOW you wanted till you saw it. This is
the difference between a technically competent individual and a creatively
talented one.”

68. “Bad design knocks on the door, screams in your face and is there at every turn. Good design blends in, and is only fully noticed and appreciated by designers. You don't notice it because it works well and calls no attention to itself.”

68. “I say this with the best intentions. This is not how design works. The whole floor plan must work together along with at least some thought as to how the roof will work and what it will look like. We don't bake a cake by putting half of the ingredients in and saying "I'll figure the rest out later." Your "cake" will cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars. And you want the recipe to be super tasty!”

69. “When it comes to new design, it's a Rubik's Cube. If you move one part, another part has to move. Solving it takes more skill than suggesting someone extend a gable end on a ranch house.”

71. “I would really appreciate if you can help me explain my designer what he is doing wrong.” Reply: “Your designer didn't graduate architecture school is what is wrong. He is out of his depth. Greatly out of his depth.”

72. “I just looked at your "designer's" site now. First, I'm going to use the word “designer” loosely based on the photos he's shown.”

73. Thread title: “Vaulted Bedroom Ceiling?” Reply: “Um, uh, I would think it might amplify noise a bit too much?”

74. “I think that is mainly because I have a strong dislike of overhead, ceiling lights. They are lovely lights and cost beaucoup bucks” Reply: “Not only that, now we know how to spell “beaucoup”!!!”

75. “Should I keep the bras or switch to nickel?”

76. “Laundry chute. Not shoot.”

77. “I am still wondering if the previous comment, ‘A but without that extra gable bump out.’ is supposed to be, " 'A', but without that extra gable bump out.", or, ‘A butt without that extra gable bump out.’ “

78. “That entry needs a house three times the size.” Reply: Actually, no house needs that
entry.

79. “The entry looks like the road to nowhere. No interest or inviting appeal”

80. “I have seen a lot of creative designs in the Texas Hill Country , , , this design does not remind me of any of them.”

81. “I am so done with this ‘build your own house’ thing.”

82. “So here I am at the start of the job and its already broken me.”

83. “This whole process is upsetting my stomach and giving me migraines. I wake up during the night and worry and then I'm up for
hours.”

84. “"Build a house!" they said. "It'll be fun!" they said. Ha!”

85. Reply as to how to handle a build going wrong: “Buy hubby alcohol. And arrange for
'play dates' for him. It's how my husband is (barely) hanging on. We haven't lost our GC, but we do have our own lion's share of issues on our build” Reply from the OP: “I don't think there is enough alcohol to dull the pain of this project.”

86. “Building is stressful. It's like a full time job on top of your "normal" life. Don't be hard on yourself. It's a house. It's supposed to make your LIFE BETTER. Remember that.”

87. “I’m learning as I go...where is the pepto bismol?”

88. “Given the situation you find yourself in, I think I'd pray…..keep the Motrin handy.”

89. Thread title: “Very personal. Let’s talk cleansing toilets”

90. “With constraints should come creativity - and that is not what is happening here.”

91. “This is one instance where I wish emotions were used in the Forum. Words fail me.”

92. “Choosing a plan without a site is sort of like choosing an outfit for the day - without knowing whether you will be attending a formal wedding or weeding the garden.”

93. “Not every architect is as good as what we have on this board. She may not be getting any good ideas from her architect.”

94. “What we really need are Retired Architect Conventions or Clubs. Or y'all need to wear neon rainbow tie dye Hawaiian shirts or something, so the rest of us can more easily spot you in the wild.”

95.“Oh geez! What did I say in the 2016 quotes thread about taking oneself too seriously?”
ARG 1/9/17

96. “When someone posts on the build a house forum, they are asking to have their home plan critiqued.... AND they had better be thick skinned. They will get the (sometimes brutal) opinions of many people. I have yet to see anyone post a plan that has not been picked apart on several points and on occasion I have seen a plan ripped into like a pack of wolves on a sheeps carcass. But I must say, more often than not, the person who has
posted the plan is very thankful for the help in the end.”

97. “Have a drink. Hell, have three- take a long shower, get some sleep and KNOW that this can all be ok.”

98. “Don't take any of this personally. Everyone is trying to help in their own way.”

99. “Oh brother... just when things were settling down. I'm gonna go take a nap...”

100. “I know what you mean about feeling judged on here. The advice on here is often not truly free, you just don't pay cash for it.

And, this year, a special “Clouds” bonus section!!!:

“There was a lot of back and forth on the clouds, but I think I am happy with them.”

“I may need a framable drawing (with clouds!) to hang IN the house, once it's done..”

“Very creatively done--congratulations! It's appealing, functional, and captures the regional qualities of Oklahoma. Plus there are clouds...:-)”

“ And again a nice job capturing the clouds.”

“OK, OK...if it's clouds you want, clouds you'll get! Beat these cumulonimbus!”

“Yeah! Who cares about the building. As long as the clouds are ok, we're fine!”

"Cloud, No.1", an original doodle, 3" X 1.5" on 7 pound Seth Cole lightweight tracing paper using HB graphite in a .09mm Pentel mechanical pencil.”

“I think the smoke coming out shouldn't be quite so straight up in the air, but the clouds look good.”

“I think as long as the clouds meet ARG's standards, we're probably OK.”

“As for the clouds, I am assuming the front and rear views were drawn at different times which accounts for the lack of the rear clouds being visible from the front.”

“The wispy clouds just don't cut it, you need some thicker ones... It's the clouds man, the clouds.”