No good deed goes unpunished
8 years ago
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- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
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No good deed goes unpunished!
Comments (3)I'm in a similar nightmare now. My husband & I have pretty much raised our granddaughter since she was 5 weeks old. She is now four & 1/2 years old. My daughter is a lair, thief, & has been turning aggressive for some time. About a month ago she attacked me after calling me filthy names. The father of the kids got tired of the aggression, the drinking the pills, the stealing (7600 dollars out of his account) & the lying, he found another woman & ran for Florida. For seven weeks I baby sat for her son along with raising her daughter. The boy is large, he smells bad all the time, he has no manners, (blows nose on his clothes) he's three & 1/2 years old, not potty trained, has the biggest, worse smelling poopy. Talking to this child is like talking to drift wood. Not only is my daughter lazy but there is something terribly wrong with this child. He weights in at fifty some pounds & I am only 97 pounds. (He wears me out lifting him) My mother & I got together & got an appointment to have him evaluated. Mom took her cause I had my granddaughter & she lied to my Mom & said they SAID nothing was wrong with him. A few weeks later I get a phone call from them saying she & the boy missed the 2 hour evaluation. (Pull my hair out) I was only supposed to watch him for a day, which turned into seven weeks & she still wasn't even looking. (slit wrists) I have been taxiing her to work, stores, everywhere. (run cold water over bleeding wrists) This night I ask her why she wasn't looking for a sitter? Suddenly I'm a bad grandparent, we'd had a prior fight about her rent, I told her she needed to pay her own rent, she makes enough money, where was all her money going? She sure wasn't paying for a sitter, or food during the day, or gas & I didn't ask her to. I just wanted her to help herself. She went bonkers trying to spin it like I'm the bad grandparent, (this is a girl who we had in college, bought a new T-bird for she had everything I wish I'd had when I was a kid. She meets the father drops out of school, totals out the T-bird & turns up pregnant) Proceeds to dump the baby on me, which I took her, then gets pregnant again & wasn't happy when I informed her she wasn't dumping that one on me.) Anyway she is spoiled & thinks we owe her a living, she doesn't learn from her mistakes but faults others for them. I told her she was no longer welcome at our house after she attacked me. She comes takes my baby & now says we will never see her again. What a joy my daughter has turned out to be. I still see my granddaughter at my mothers, & she told me her mother locked her in the garage in the dark. She cries that she wants to come home with me & Papa, she cries for me all the time. She said Nana you got to do something, you got to try. (She talks like an old lady sometimes, I love it) So I called Child protective services. That was like 3 weeks ago, & I'm still waiting, in the mean time she has been evicted, & is due in court for a DUI. The girl lost her license years ago, has a DUI & is now driving a friends van. It's a crazy world & I keep thinking with time she will have enough rope & hang herself (I mean that in legal terms of keeps getting in trouble) & I will be able to bring my granddaughter back home to the only stability she has ever known. Her court date for the DUI is Tuesday. Thanks for letting me vent....See MoreCamelot has been sacked.
Comments (26)Westwinger, I feel for you!! My guess is that the children's father may not have been abusive either... My DH's ex took the kids from him and moved back in with her parents. Then she started making up allegations of abuse. After I came into the picture, she accused him of sexually abusing his daughter and drugging his son. She has since married and had a child with her new hubby. He thinks that my DH is an abusive/child molesting b*st*rd, and he (ex's hubby) helps her keep the children from my DH. (He hasn't seen them in nearly 3 1/2 years.) When things go down the toilet with them (which I'm sure they will) he will be in for a rude awakening. My Hubby is much like you, a hard working, good man who just wants to come home at the end of the day to a clean house and a hot meal (and a happy, well looked after family). Some women just suck. (To put it really eloquently). If she is already making those types of comments (about abuse) be prepared for anything. Consider keeping a running log of your activities (where you are and when)...especially if you split. You never know if/when she might accuse you of something, and if you keep a clear/concise log, you will be able to show it to police/judges if necessary. I really do mean be prepared for *anything*. In the last three and a half years, We have received over a dozen calls & visits from the RCMP, because of her false accusations. (Everything from child abuse (at the last visit) and stalking, to arson and B&E (we both got finger printed for the B&E). She even got an emergency protection order against him (including the seizure of his hunting equipment) based on false pretenses...he was away working, when he was "witnessed" at her house. If it does get that messy (I really hope it doesn't) remember to always be polite/respectful to the police (DH appologizes to them when they call, and explains that he's in a messy access dispute, and every time we get close to going into court, she does this..."I'm sorry that she is doing this again. I know how busy you guys are already."). The police are smart...if you are decent to them, they get to realize where the problems lie. (They still have to follow up on every complaint...but they get to be very good to deal with. They also understand that it's very frusterating for you.) Whatever you do, don't move out. (It may be tempting, but it weighs heavily against you when/if you go into court.) It may also be helpful to get a mini recorder and keep it with you. (Check your local laws, for useability.) In some states/provinces recordings are admissible as long as one party involved in the conversation is aware of the recording. In other states/provinces, both parties must be aware for it to be admissible. If only you have to be aware, then you may be able to get some good evidence for court. You might be surprised what stupid, self incriminating evidence can be said in the heat of the moment. If you do get something on tape make sure you log the date and time when the conversation took place. (DH's ex told him she was going to make him pay, make him hurt, that he was never going to see his kids again because he didn't deserve them if he wasn't with her, and when she accused him of sexually abusing his daughter she said expressed her anger (with colorful language) at his decision to file for joint custody, and then tacked on the accusation. Unfortunatly, we learned too late that we needed a tape recorder, and never got any of it...without a recording, it's just a bunch of 'he says/she says' and the courts, almost without fail, go in favor of the mother. You have an uphill battle ahead of you, no matter what you decide, but I'm glad to hear you have such good support from your staff. They must really care about you. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are a good man. Things may get worse before they get better, but they *will* get better. With kind thoughts, Verena "It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction." -Abraham Lincoln, addressing the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society in 1859....See MoreWe will see if no good deed really goes unpunished....
Comments (8)It's really nice what you've done mom2emall, hopefully it helps BM. Sounds like you already made the decision but your post has been on my mind so I'll still put my 2 bob in :-) You're right, it's better to stay neutral with BM rather then befriending her. There's every change that that would put you in the middle of BM's drama and that's not good for the kids, simple as that. The kids need you and that is your primary concern, so it's better to keep BM at a distance. My experience with people like this is that they take advantage of you, even if they don't do it with bad intentions. It's just the only way they know. They'll lean on you, unload on you, drain you of your energy. This is how they cope with their drama. BM might show up at your place one night after a fight with BF, imagine what that would do with the kids. You just can't afford to take the risk. You're home is their stable and safe place. You've done a nice thing, I hope BM is encouraged to take some action :-)...See MoreNo good deed goes unpunished!!!
Comments (2)You did everything you could. Hope social services gets involved. Poor little girl....See More- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
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