Childhood stapels that you avoid as an adult?
8 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (52)
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
Related Discussions
Adult Steps Drama
Comments (16)All I have to add after the last couple postings here is: be extremely detailed on what you (whether it be you or husband)exactly want. Be ridiculously specific leaving no room for a need of clarification...even if you/he now may believe there is no need to go to such extreme aka outlining even the simplest things which may have no monetary valve in the thick of things (personal items). --"The greed will cause many of the children to worry about what they will inherit from their parents"--(Shakti) It broke my heart for some of my mother's SO's heirs as I watched what the one daughter did and what she put them all through. SO only had two children, one had become deceased a number of yrs before SO passed. This daughter automatically assumed then everything should be hers. SO wanted his deceased child's three children to have the deceased son's share. He also left a portion of his estate to his two stepsons from his 2nd marriage. This part was due to the fact their mother (wife #2 married 15 yrs, and she was now deceased 20 plus yrs) had invested in building the house...it was a return of their mother's investment. Something SO had promised wife #2 when she died that he would honor. And he did. What shut daughter down at her every attempt was that iron clad overly detailed will and his immaculate record/bookkeeping. Oh, but it was not just the items of valve that this daughter made noise over. She screamed, yelled and totally made a stink over every last little item. She then proceded to drag up countless items that gentleman himself had given away over the yrs while he was still very much alive. Seriously, for example SO gave so and so (a grandchild) a china set 15 yrs ago so according to daughter so and so should now have this count towards a portion of the division. Then daughter tried the old 'this or that is missing, where is it'. What she was squealing about on this one was SO had (without informing and/or consulting with this daughter because it was none of her business) sold his mother's wedding rings (something that had been left to him by his mother). Daughter claimed they were in the safe and somebody has them hidden and Daddy said she could have them when he died. In reality the gentleman sold them all on his own. What was actually in the safe fortunately was the reciept from the sale of the item ...so that shut her up for a few minutes, well, until she came up with the next item to acuse and scream over. As I mentioned earlier, SO loved his daughter with his whole heart, but he never ever even yrs before his death underestimated the lady. Clever old man kept quite detailed records of what had been done and/or given away or sold over the years and is will was detailed and solid. The daughter got exactly what the SO had desired her to have as far as possessions and division as did each and every other heir...but in the end they all got less actual money than they would have because two lawyers (the daughter's and the estate's) got a larger chunk than should have happened if she'd have just abided by her father's wishes. Now there is anger amongest the heirs at the daughter over this sad ending. Final checks were cut last week, but I have no idea what will happen as far as any kind of personal relationship between that family now. So much anger and fighting. I can't imagine the family has much of a chance of ever reuniting and being a 'family' again. I'm just glad my mother is finally clear of them all now that the job of closing the estate is over and can walk away from them....See MoreHELP !! Adult Child with a Manipulative Controlling Stepmom
Comments (31)Briley, this post was written a while back but I hope you still read the comments. I can so relate to you. My dads wife came into the picture and acted nice as pie at first..then she slowly drove a wedge between my dad and I. Her jealousy of your relationship with him and concern for $$ after he dies I believe are her motivating factors -as are my dads wife's motivations and concerns. I truly feel that if they don't care about the adult children -they really don't care about their spouse. Caring for your spouse is being cordial and welcoming at the very least to your husbands children-no matter what age. My dads wife has wrapped such a web around him-he cannot even see what she's done to us and our father daughter bond. ): and the grandchildren. My advice to you is to make plans often (3x) week to see your dad outside the house without her-quick coffee, dinner, breakfast, a walk on his lunch break -keep your bond strong before he retires. Once retired, the talons get even stronger. I am so very sorry and I can relate more then you even know. It's really really important to not let her keep you from having one on one time with your dad. My dads wife would call and talk to my dad for 20 mins when I was out having a special lunch with him. She would tell me as they left my house"they were going home to have some fun". It makes me want to throw up. She would exhibit naked statues around the house when we came to visit with young children saying it was art. She's highly jealous and suspicious if I am talking alone with my dad like I am the other woman. Some people are really mental. I wish every day that my dad had never married her and ruined our family....See MoreRemarried Bio-mom, from a stepparent childhood
Comments (19)You are dealing with an old fashioned bully. Bullying always stems from insecurities. You are doing the right things. You have kept an open mind, taken responsibility for your own mistakes and are willing to move forward, with everyone, for the sake of your child. This SM has some serious demons and you cannot help nor change her. In a perfect world everyone would be adult and put the childs needs and best over all welfare first. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world. You are a good mother, that is all you can be. Certainly monitor your child closely. Analyze her attitude and behaviors when she comes home from a visit with SM. Keep communication open with her, without poisoning her mind. No one wins from that. You are a loving and caring mother, wanting only what is best for your child. Even if that means "sharing" your role as mother with someone else. Not easy. I am in the same boat. Give yourself more credit, you are not only strong, but honorable. Strength is not about being able to yell, cuss and belittle someone, even getting physical. Strength in character is a MILLION times more valuable and honorable! Hold your head high honey, you get it. The child comes first, you totally get it! Good for you! She will see it and feel it every day. You can keep your child safe and secure with open communication. Having said that I must say I am kind, but not weak. If SM ever comes at you again, take her out! LOL...See MoreDesign trends to avoid if you don't want a quickly dated look
Comments (59)Despite the title of this thread, I think it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell one decade from another, in terms of design. In the 20th Century, it was fairly easy to identify styles from one decade to another, up through the 1980s, but ever since the 1990s, things have become a bit more blurred, for one reason or another. Younger people generally dictate design trends because the care about them more, but lately they have not been dictating much that is uniquely recognizable. Minimalism is somewhat popular now, but it was also popular in the 1950s when I think it reached its pinnacle in design terms, although it started in the 1920s or 1930s. I am reminded also of the Italian Futurists of the 1910s - we do not have movements like that any more. For me, decades have lost identities - they don't even have names any more since the 1990s. What do you call the first decade of the 21st Century, and what do you call the second decade? Do they even deserve names? How can things be dated if the dates don't have an identity, much less a name? Around 1900 people called their period the "turn of the century", but does anyone say "turn of the millenium" about the period around 2000? It is also the turn of a century, making the previous term ambiguous, but I don't hear it being called anything. I hear about generational names, but those do not apply to design styles, as generations last longer than design styles....See More- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
Related Stories

LIFEDo You Live in Your Childhood House?
Tell us about the home you grew up in — whether you live there now or not — and share your pictures!
Full Story
HOLIDAYS5 Ways to Avoid Holiday Season Burnout
You can enjoy the traditions and activities that matter to you and let go of the rest
Full Story
FEEL-GOOD HOME8 Time Traps to Avoid This Holiday Season
Reduce stress with these scaled-back alternatives to your grand ambitions
Full Story
BATHROOM DESIGN5 Common Bathroom Design Mistakes to Avoid
Dodge blunders in toilet placement, shower type and more, and see examples of how to get your bathroom right
Full Story
LIFEHouzz Call: Show Us the House You Grew Up In
Share a photo and story about your childhood home. Does it influence your design tastes today?
Full Story
LIFEModern Manners for Conflict-Free Family Visits
Avoid thermostat wars, pet peeves and the great shower squeeze with these tips for having family as houseguests
Full Story
PRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: Heed Your Animal Instinct
Avoid beastly dullness by bringing in the raw energy of animal prints, patterns and accessories
Full Story
DECLUTTERING6 Common Causes of Clutter and Their Cures
Life changes, decision avoidance and a lack of efficient systems can be contributing factors
Full Story
DECORATING GUIDESHouzz Call: What Home Collections Help You Feel Like a Kid Again?
Whether candy dispensers bring back sweet memories or toys take you back to childhood, we'd like to see your youthful collections
Full Story
GARDENING AND LANDSCAPING9 Ways to Make Your Yard More Fun for Kids
Draw the younger set outside while keeping grown-up spaces and style intact. Some of these ideas don’t even cost a dime!
Full Story
marilyn_c