Just how long do you "know" each other?
Iris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (72)
Iris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agoeld6161
6 years agoRelated Discussions
How do you know what you know about old houses, etc?
Comments (14)Whoa, if you get a degree in industrial arts you get to acquire carpentry textbooks along the way?!? Sweet! Kim, I've always enjoyed/appreciated your contributions; given the wisdom of trial and error that was behind them, I see why they stood out. My mom got us a couple of the Reader's Digest fixit books (have to run downstairs, one of them might be the very one you have); I like the way they are encyclopedic and detailed. I know Jane Powell but not the Small Houses books (do you mean The Not So Big stuff by Susanka, or the Small House anthologies from Fine Homebuilding?) Thanks for mentioning books; I think I might start a reference book thread for this forum. Hey Casey, THANKS for taking the bait. And you are NOT a bloody genius, you are an old house DEITY for crying out loud! Would you please start your own show on youtube? Or maybe just a house tour? Even Petch house has youtube videos. Or, do you already have a project blog and everyone knows about it but me? Actually for someone with a degree in historic preservation, I am impressed with how low-key your posts come across; they read more like an old friend who's "been there" and wants to pass along lessons learned along the way, it's really very nice and encouraging. But if you ever want to browbeat me feel free; I would take it as a compliment. To be honest if I post about something I'm thinking of doing to my house, and you don't opine, I figure one of two things is going on: 1) you're not on the forum; or 2) you're politely disapproving. Most of the time I assume it's 2 because you seem to be pretty consistent around here. But I just want to say, and I hope I speak for many, that I love love love your posts, especially when I'm searching on a problem I'm trying to solve and something from you pops up! (PS I finally got around to using that general finishes gel varnish you recommended and it was fantastic, thank you; I will post photos to the woodworking forum sometime before the next census.) Oh, and I love the way you "aged" the color tones in the new pine beadboard in your kitchen; reminds me of the pine in my grandmother's kitchen. When I was really little I used to look at the gleaming pores and think it was the closest wood could get to 24K gold....See Moremy bonded pair now hate each other! long sorry
Comments (5)I can identify with your situation on several levels. I currently have fourteen feline kids. Back in 1996, we had six cats when we knocked down our old house, moved into a different house for a month during the rebuild, then moved back into the new house, taking two additional cats with us. Five of the cats were siblings - three from one litter and two from another. The mothers of the litters were sisters. One of the mothers died, so the remaining mother raised all five kittens. The litter of three were all sisters, and the litter of two were brothers. One of the brothers, Noddy, grew to be our 25 1/2 lb Lion King. The other brother, Capri (who disappeared about 10 yrs ago), was a very lean 16 lbs and was bullied horribly by Noddy once they reached adulthood. Noddy, however, has almost always been very tolerant and sweet with his female cousins. There have been moments, though, when Noddy, for whatever reason, gets very angry at one of his cousins and goes after her. When that occurs, I don't hesitate to use a very stern voice to make him stop. If that doesn't work, he gets put into a timeout away from the other cats for 30 mins until he regains his senses and sweet self. I haven't been faced with your exact problem, though. Well, maybe I have. It's possible that the playful relationship that Noddy and his brother, Capri, had when they were kittens evolved into the bully/victim relationship that made Capri's life miserable as an adult because Cappy wasn't able or willing to play as roughly as Noddy when they got older. Once a cat assumes the victim role, as your female is doing now, it's almost an irresistible temptation for other cats to assume the bully role. That's why it's important for you to try to nip this behavior in the bud before your male decides to escalate his overbearing play into actual bullying. Getting a third cat is NOT the answer. A third cat will only escalate your female's anxiety and fear response, setting her up to be a victim to the new cat, as well. You'd be better off getting a cat-friendly dog rather than another cat, though I wouldn't recommend that, either, under these circumstances. Instead, let your male cat know that pushy play is no longer allowable with his sister by putting him into timeouts in a separate room whenever he starts bothering her. With the female, let her know that unwarranted, hissy/growly behavior is unacceptable by clapping your hands sharply in her direction whenever she starts complaining ... unless, of course, her complaints are justified by the pushy behavior of her brother, in which case you should grab him and put him into an immediate timeout. You always have to make sure you are reprimanding the right perpetrator. Don't worry about how your boy will react to these new strategies. I have a houseful of timid cats, several of whom trust only me. Cats are very intelligent creatures. They know the difference between an angry moment and an angry person. If a spat breaks out in my house (a frequent occurrence with 14 cats), a sharp, "HEY!!!" from me will usually send the perpetrator (and any other cat who was considering doing something naughty at that exact moment) scurrying, while the innocents will hold their ground and look around to see who's in trouble. LOL! Within moments, everybody returns to normal. In fact, the perpetrators often seek me out to offer a personal apology for their bad behavior and make sure that Mommy isn't holding a grudge. There are other possible explanations for your female's behavior. It may be displaced aggression - aggression caused by factors other than her brother but expressed as anger toward or fear of her brother. This happens fairly often when an indoor cat sees a feline (or non-feline) intruder in her yard through a window. The indoor cat can't do anything about the outside intruder, so she takes out her anger and anxiety on her housemate, instead. See if you can identify any potential sources of stress for your female that are unrelated to your male cat. The more stressors you can eliminate, the more likely you'll be able to resolve this problem. Hidden illness can also be expressed as anxiety, anger, and/or aggression. You might want to consider taking your girl in for a thorough vet exam just to make sure she's healthy. A full blood panel should identify most major health concerns. If all else fails, you might also discuss the possibility of trying an anti-anxiety med with your vet. I dislike the idea of drugging any animal, but I also know that there are cases in which certain meds can be extremely helpful. Good luck. I know how stressful it can be for the entire household when any member is unhappy. Laurie...See MoreBlast from the past - 2000 'Get to know each other' thread
Comments (3)Wow....what an amazing list of people.... too many of them no longer with us or active here. It is nice to remember some of their names and their struggles that we shared. Thanks for the memories....See MoreLet's get to know each other March 1, 2015
Comments (90)Maire here. I've been a member since 2007 but changed my sign in name 3 or 4 years ago. I live in southern New Jersey, just across the Delaware River from Philadelphia. I was a reference librarian for the Free Library of Philadelphia until DH and I started our family. We have 3 adult kids who all live within a few blocks of each other in Philly and it's so gratifying to see that they now get together on weekends or dog sit for each other. They're only 10 miles away so it's easy to pop over the Betsey Ross Bridge and join them for dinner or to see a show. DH retired a year ago and he's still adjusting - actually I am too. I'm thrilled that he gave up his demanding profession and now he has time to relax, read and plant his beloved heirloom tomatoes. He also joined my gym and we've been eating healthier and losing weight. We have a vacation home in NE PA in the middle of the woods and we love spending time there....See MoreMarilyn Sue McClintock
6 years agoAmazing Aunt Audrey
6 years agoCurlysue
6 years agolindaohnowga
6 years agolgmd_gaz
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agomarilyn_c
6 years agoCurlysue
6 years agochisue
6 years agostacey_mb
6 years agoPKponder TX Z7B
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agokathyg_in_mi
6 years agomamapinky0
6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agobasilcook3
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agonickel_kg
6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agoUser
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agojoyfulguy
6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agoUser
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years agoUser
6 years agomarylmi
6 years agoravencajun Zone 8b TX
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b) thanked ravencajun Zone 8b TXmarilyn_c
6 years agojaney_alabama
6 years agosjerin
6 years agoTerry
6 years agoElmer J Fudd
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agosjerin
6 years agotami_ohio
6 years agoLindsey_CA
6 years agoFlamingO in AR
6 years agoseniorgal
6 years agohappy2b…gw
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoIris S (SC, Zone 7b)
6 years ago
Related Stories
LIFE‘A Little Bold Color Goes a Long Way’ and Other Houzz Quotables
Home projects, advice and even a tour of a castle captured our attention this week
Full StoryLIFEYou Said It: ‘Know Thyself’ and Other Houzz Quotables
Design advice, inspiration and observations that struck a chord this week
Full StoryBOOKSBook to Know: 'Long Island Modernism 1930-1980'
Photographs mix with social history from the architectural highlights of Long Island's suburbanization
Full StoryLIFEYou Said It: ‘Or Is It Just Me?’ and Other Houzz Quotables
Design advice, inspiration and observations that struck a chord this week
Full StoryLIFEYou Said It: ‘Some Ask Why, Others Why Not?’ and Other Houzz Quotables
Design advice, inspiration and observations that struck a chord this week
Full StoryHEALTHY HOMEWhat You Need to Know About Dust and How to Fight It
Breathe easier with these 10 tips for busting mites, dander and other microscopic undesirables
Full StoryLANDSCAPE DESIGNWhat to Know About Adding a Patio
Learn about design basics, material choices and other considerations for a paved landscape area
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESWhat to Know Before You Tear Down That Wall
Great Home Projects: Opening up a room? Learn who to hire, what it’ll cost and how long it will take
Full StoryGREAT HOME PROJECTSWhat to Know Before Refinishing Your Floors
Learn costs and other important details about renewing a hardwood floor — and the one mistake you should avoid
Full StoryMOST POPULARWhat to Know About Adding a Deck
Want to increase your living space outside? Learn the requirements, costs and other considerations for building a deck
Full Story
User