"And how is your Christmas shopping going?"

It isn't because I don't :-) That ship sailed a long time ago! #1 - I can't afford to buy for all and sundry; #2 - no one in family needs anything and those that do or want are financially much more able to buy whatever they want/need for themselves. And do so. #3 - all the kids are more than adequately attended to by parents or grandparents....usually to the point of excess. #4 - I detest malls and other retail outlets at this time of year and avoid them at all cost - too much traffic, too many people, too many bad tempers. It is just not a fun experience.

If I am doing any gifting, it is homemade goodies or a few craft items, like handmade ornaments or decorations. And the few friends and family that have Christmas time birthdays of course get a birthday gift. That's it.

btw, your female family member was incredibly rude!! A gift is a gift - you accept graciously and say "thank you" and what you do with it after that is your own business.

To me the most meaningful thing about Christmas was spending time with family. I am not really into Christmas gift giving, but more into giving a gift anytime of the year when it's appropriate. About five years ago, my family started a tradition where instead of all the gifts, we would each contribute the money we would have spent, and one of us would buy food for the animal shelter, since we all love animals. Family are gone now, but I will continue to do that, as well as, contribute to the food bank.

I do give some Christmas gifts, too, but that is not my main focus.

I've always loved to give gifts, whether it's Christmas, birthdays, or a "just because" gift. But finances no longer permit much giving, that's a real damper on things. Our family started drawing names several years ago, and it has worked out well for everyone. I will get something for the person whose name I drew, and I will also get something for my Great Grands, because I enjoy doing that. I've been 'shopping' online for a couple of weeks now and will probably do most of the actual purchasing in the next 3 or 4 days.

Vicsgirl, I so understand how you feel. I opted out of the family drawing the first couple of years after my husband passed away, I just couldn't get into it. After that, I forced myself to participate, and, for me, it was the right thing to do. I sincerely hope that you will be able to spend meaningful time with the family and friends that you are close to. And will fiond peace and comfort. God bless you!

Rusty

nope but we have cut way back in recent years. kids are older so they don't get much, just their college tuition mostly paid, haha...

extended family, cut back and people dying so not much to buy for.

mostly gift cards and small things. DH & I don't exchange, we save to travel thru out the year.

I am done just need to wrap,and will do that this week. DD will put here tree up sunday (I hope) then Monday when I go over to do her wash I will take most over and put under the tree. I still have some scarves for the boys to make, but they are simple no sew ones.

Just have to finish up 2grands, waiting on the parents,,,,or it’s drum sets for them! Finished the other 5 grands and 4 birthdays and 2 dirty Santa gifts.

We live quite aways from shopping, so I end up doing a lot on Amazon. One item I got would have gotten $7 cheaper at Meijers than Amazon, but Meijers is 45 minutes away and it’s a smaller store so they might not have it.

DS sent me his and the children's lists the day after Thanksgiving. Went online immediately and ordered it all. Of course, one place waited until Fri (a week later!) to tell me there are OOS on one item and don't know if/when they will have it again. How can it take a week to discover this and their web site to still take orders? Pretty flakey bunch.

Other DGC will want a check. Don't know what DD and DSIL will want - often a check, too. Easy, peasy...

Vicsgirl, I'm sorry for your loss.

All of my gifts have been purchased. Some were mailed this week. Others that will be given in person will be wrapped in mid-December.

We have not participated in this commerce-driven activity for a long time -- other than for young children. This is the time of year we make out checks to charities that aid *humans* who are in need. None of our family needs charity -- thank goodness!

One day, either DH or I will experience the loss of a spouse, Vicsgirl. Until then, we won't really *know*. That gaping hole in your life must feel like an injury -- one that will heal to some extent, someday. You are entitled to follow your feelings, doing as much or little as you want about holidays, for as long as you want.

I'm almost done......

Mostly ordering things online for my shopping this year. I ask my kids for lists, and they send the site with the item description. That makes shopping easy, so I am close to done with the shopping. We will have 6 staying with DH and me and a total 10 for a sit down Christmas dinner and grandson's birthday dinner combined. I will start decorating in another week, and it will take me all week to get everything out. I want it all done before the grandsons arrive. The exterior lights are up. Younger son helped his dad when he was here after Thanksgiving.

Nope. But u don't do much. 2 of my nephews are my godsons as well,and i send them a card with money every year. They are both 8,and that's easiest. For SO, he takes for frickin ever to tell me what he wants,so I get him a tool or tools of some kind, some clothes,cologne, and the yearly packs of sock,t shirts and boxers. I think he wants a new shotgun this year,so if he ever picks it out,ill just give him the money to go get it.

I already got my presents. He gave me the money and I ordered the new kindle fire 10 hd and a new foodsaver. He went and put new tires on both my cars. That's all I asked for,and am so happy I got it all!!! My birthday is Jan 4th,so I have to think of something else i want by then or he'll be cranky.

Im almost finished but have three birthdays before Christmas so need to finish those first. Poor planning on my part--two daughters 12/10 and 12/15 and grand daughter 12/7 (I had no part in that planning). I know that the holidays season has become very commercialized but your own holiday doesn't need to be. Celebrate the true meaning of the holiday and enjoy those close to you.

vicsgirl, it is okay to pull into yourself a little this year as you find your way. Hopefully, your family will pamper you.

As for me, I wish I were done. I scouted the malls and picked up a few items, but mostly I shop online. Often I order something I saw at the mall online. To make shopping more fun, DH and I are heading to my daughter's condo at the beach today. We will walk the boardwalk and neighborhoods, shop in town and the outlets, and eat at some fabulous restaurants. Also tax free shopping.

Amid the shopping and hubbub, I spend time with the family. We have a children's Christmas party when the grands will come over to bake treats and paint ornaments. I took a note out of Alisande's book and purchased paints and unpainted wood ornaments from Michael's. The kids will also decorate and put up the tree. They range in age from 15 - 5. Their parents can take off to run errands or relax, so something for little and big children.

I just have one more thing to get for my daughter in law and my son today and I'm done. It gets harder and harder every year to pick out gifts I know everyone will like. I don't buy what I like for them, I go out of my way to make sure what I buy they'll use. That way nobody gives me the gifts back. I've thought about drawing names for Christmas but everyone said, "NO!" so we do the whole 9 yards every year. I really don't mind but as the kids get older and they buy whatever they want throughout the year, it makes it a little hard to find something special.

I understand how you feel about your first Christmas without your husband. I felt the same way the first Christmas after my son died. But I did my best not to let my feelings affect how everyone else felt. Let them pamper you. Put on that brave happy face. Your husband wouldn't want you to live out the rest of your life being sad on special holidays without him. Would he?

I stopped purchasing gifts as my offspring have more than most and buy whatever they want. I send a donation to my specific charity and I buy two gifts for the Yankee swap. We're older now and have no desire to shop, actually never did like shopping. We do give out checks inside cards and they all appreciate that. What I love about Christmas is the excitement of the children and we finally have a great grand child who is 18 months old and lives nearby. We are madly in love with him. First boy in the family for 28 years. All eyes will be on our Dylan lol. We do all the overnight stays when needed. I told her no babysitter, you've got us and we love it.

I hibernated the first year after My Love died, pretty much skipping both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wasn't wallowing, just required solitude. It's been three years now, and while I don't celebrate with the gusto of years past, I do acknowledge. Normally I get my son a main gift, then some smaller things. There are two friends I gift with tokens. I send out a large amount of handmade cards. That's plenty for me. I don't put up a tree, as I have cats now. I'm still kind of empty inside, and still looking for a church family or something to help fill that empty.

I'm done also. Not much in the mood anymore since DH is gone. I did a little less this year and glad its over.

I'm impressed. To me, it still seems early. We went to Target today to buy some 10% discount gift cards for a couple of kids. While there, wife found four presents. To me that seems like an early start.

I'm sticking to my plan, gifts for little kids only, no crazy last-minutw shopping. I think I just wanted to 'vent' about my ungrateful in-laws. They really are nice most of the time.

Amazing Aunt Audrey -- your gift wrapping is gorgeous! I love shiny foil paper at Xmas. =)

I cut back to my immediate family years back so it was about 4 people to buy for. Now I've married a man with 6 grandkids so my list has expanded again! It's fun to buy for kids though so I don't mind. : )

So... getting there but not done yet.

Aunt Audrey can you wrap my gifts too? Those are gorgeous!

I have a small family to celebrate Christmas, so because of this, I wanted my two DD's to experience the hoopla of the season. Yes, I have always gone overboard with the gifts because they were not going to be getting from grandparents or various relatives. (I'm Jewish, DH Catholic)

All this said I m trying to cut back. My DD's are not 28 and 30! This year I have been doing it all online. I must say, I really like it. No more lugging packages to the car, then moving the car if you have to go back inside. (possible break-ins)

Truth be told, if DH surprised me with a trip to get away from ding Christmas, I would jump on it. This is his holiday and I'll keep doing it as long as he wants to.