Lost My Dog and My Husband This Year


Both losses were hard. The dog was age 14,my best buddy, She had been in basically good health, had a stroke, was told by the Vet it only gets worse, She'd have another inevitably fatal stroke. But I chose to keep her with me as long as she was able to walk, eat and go out to potty. She became super-restless, pacing in circles and unable to sleep thru the night. She got worse, until finally I decided it was time to send her to Rainbow Bridge. She was PTS on Valentines Day. Hubby and I were married over 37 years, he had MS multiple sclerosis for nearly 20 years, He was unable to drive or walk. I had to go thru the expensive (needed a lawyer) and humiliating experience of filing for State Medicaid to get him home-care. He was hospitalized for two months, came home with Hospice Care, he lasted only 15 days, passed away in June, sadly on his sister's birthday. There, i've said it all. I have joined a group of spouse-survivors. There will be extra meetings to help us get thru the Holidays. there, i've told the entire story. I got thru thanksgiving, I'm trying to make Christmas as traditional as ever, cooking, buying gifts, sending out cards.

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My mom passed away from pancreatic cancer last year in October at 57. Our family was and is very close and it was a huge blow. My father is doing as well as can be expected, but it is really hard this time of year that my mom worked really hard to make special for everyone. Sometimes it feels wrong trying to be happy when something so sad happened. Of course Mom wouldn't want everyone to mope around forever for her, so I do the cliche thing and try to remember the good times, I guess. I hope you find at least a few ways to smile this season.

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So Sorry for you losses. Hospice has groups you can go to, they are free. You might also want to check with griefshare. I suggest you get another dog as soon as possible.

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Sylvia Gordon

I am so sorry. I think sometimes we feel guilty or at least weird when we grieve as much for a beloved pet as we do for a human being. Although it isn't the same kind of grief, in a way it really is more intense. Animals give us their whole hearts, they never judge, they never set a bar and say "here, jump over this if you want me to love you." They don't break our hearts. Until they go. Take care of yourself.

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