I'm so sorry. You've had one stunning blow right after another, & you must be reeling from it. I don't for one minute believe that these are "real" dreams (ie, dreams in which it's really your husband communicating). No way would he show up to torture you. I think they're just dreams in which your inner self is expressing the dismaying sense of loss & helplessness (if you'd known on November 4th, what could you have done? nothing). I'm with Marie: find someone & talk & talk & talk. Cry & holler & blubber if you want. I'm holding you in my thoughts & in my heart.

I'm so sorry for this terrible, sudden loss. Your husband was so young. You must allow yourself time to grieve and cry all you want. It's just a process that cannot be hurried, unfortunately. I know everything you do for the first time without him in your life is difficult. Please do post here and go on & on & on all you want. Everyone here cares. Stay in touch. I send you a cyber-hug!

Don't know if I can be much help but I lost my very special husband in 1985. Kissed me goodbye & went to work, I found myself at a hospital that afternoon, waiting only to finally have someone come in & say, I'm sorry, do you have a mortician(at least that is all I heard)So my trip has been long,24 years. He had a coronary & died instantly. We had 15 yr old DD & 17 yr DS.It was like being put on a stage & handed a script & told you had to play the part. Nothing was real until after everyone left. I had visited a lot of elderly people from church & knew what happened to some of them. They very nearly "crawled in a hole"(under the cover in bed) 1 lady had newspapers all over the yard, shades or curtains drawn, didn't look like anyone home, we had turned to leave when she opened the door. She told me that was the 1st connection to the world she had found since her hubby had died, our visit gave her courage to get out. I remembered that & told myself, what if he were sitting here, would he want to see me crying, would he be torn apart to see me like this, so I just put him in the picture when the going got rough. He was always supportive & loving, we didn't fight in the 22 years we were together because we didn't want to hurt each other. We did have I think 6 times we were silent when each of us thought we were right. Those few times ended with us talking it over & deciding together what to do. I did lot of locking myself out of house(carried extra car & house keys in my purse) ran washer without any clothes in it, couldn't spell 4-5 letter words, couldn't look them up as "when" didn't seem to compute in my brain. I'd write woo, woen,just couldn't write small words. Eventually that stopped but it will start up again for short periods when someone close dies. I carry extra $20 in case I forget gas in my car. I learned to do a lot of compensating. I learned that I could stay in bed 1 day if it was rainy or very cold but then I must get up & fix myself some hot choc., read a book, listen to favorite music, couldn't let it continue into the night. I had to have very good reason for that day off. Rest of time when I wanted to "disappear" I forced myself out to a strip mall to watch people leaving the grocery store, did small errand to get it done & not feel useless, maybe just dropping letters off at post office. If things got bad I called my bro. & he listened & that was a great help. I had people wanting me to pay for headstones when I hadn't ordered 1. I got cheated by ins. company as they didn't leave me amount on their letterhead so I wrote it down & had him sign it but they told me I was wrong,lost about $500 on that. Got so I only cried when something good happened. So have a trusted friend or relative as a witness to anything legal you have to do. Time passed & I kept busy. People think widows have all kinds of time!! Right, I had to do all things I always had & what he did also. Putting gas in car was very upsetting, I had never done it. I had handled the bills & such so didn't have to learn that. My kids left home & after a few years, with some wandering & number of jobs, they are great kids(they felt pretty lost, too)Am I over it after 24 yrs??? No, most days I just think of him several times, lovely memories, but seeing a couple holding hands, leaning on each other, I feel cheated out of that. I'm very grateful we had 24 wonderful years together & hope someday to see him waiting for me.Good Luck folks, the pain & rawness does get better & the memories are sweet & worth holding on to & will get you through.

I don't care for any of the paint samples on the walls. They only highlight the pink tones in the paneling by being so gold or brown/gold. I also wouldn't do burgundy, as you have so much of it already in the room. I would first consider finding a color that is the same as the background color in the paneling - a soft creamy ivory tone, and just use that. The entry area feels kind of dark and closed, so a light color there would work. I would then take the same paint and paint all the ceilings, both in the entry and the living room. The white ceiling only works to make the walls look even more pinky-peach in contrast. By painting out the ceiling in the paneling background color, you will lessen that considerably. I would get a larger area rug for the entry, something with a creamy field and burgundy accents, which again will tie into the LR but keep the entry lighter in feel. I believe I see a cabinet of some kind in the entry area where the coats are? Be sure you have a lamp there for some warm lighting for the entry. I would take the four small flower pix on the paneled wall in the LR and hang them in the entry in a grouping. I would change out the mats to a neutral, to show off the flowers themselves - you don't even see them in the burgundy matting. The frames are fine. By bringing some of the burgundy onto that entry wall, you will introduce the burgundy color in the entry that will then lead the eye into the LR. I would take the larger piece in burgundy matting and use that over the fireplace - having two pieces of art on that fireplace wall that are matted in green kind of makes it feel like you were trying to match the art, but they are not hanging together so it feels disconnected. I would take all those balls out of the tall vases on the fireplace and puit them in a bowl somewhere - they are lost in those vases. Then find some tall, fountain-like grasses and greens to put in the vases for softness. It seems like you have so many great family photos. I would have them all framed in complimentary frames and use the large paneled sections behind the couch to hang them in a striking grouping. By using those instead of the burgundy matted collection, you will stop highlighting the color of the paneling, and instead will have a varied grouping of photos that will become the focal point. I would also move the photo screen and tuck it in a corner or near something so it doesn't feel like it is just floating in the room by itself. I love the little chest you have by the entry, but I don't like it there. It is heavy and dark, and feels like a barricade to the front door area. I would remove that and leave that entry open. Maybe you could move it over to the other side to where the little green bench is now? Try to get some pillows for the couches that are creamier in their background color, to lighten the feel of those pieces. They could still have a print or a stripe, but should have a lighter overall background that brings in the wall color. Something like this, tho this particular pillow may not be right, but the idea of a lighter background is the key. crewel pillows I don't see much ambient lighting in the room - at least in the views we have, only one lamp on an end table, and that is too small. Put that lamp on the little chest that I had you move over to the other side of the room. Get a bigger lamp for that table, perhaps another lamp to sit on the sewing machine (I think) that is behind the couch acting as a console table. More lighting located lower and that is warmer will also affect how the paneling is perceived, and will keep the eye more focused into the center of the room and away from the walls. I think your room has lots of wonderful things going for it. Settling the entry will help, and then tweaking the LR space and its accessories will make it all feel finished and cohesive.