Have any you you seen The Good Place with Ted Danson? The characters are supposed to be in heaven and are no longer able to use foul language, so when the F-word is supposed to come out it's- What the fork is going on here? It's a clever schtick. The show, which I learned about here I think, is excellent.

I say "shoot" or "doggone it" or "come on!!" mostly when I'm driving and have someone with me - but since I live alone, I don't usually say anything around home.

I usually say "dang" or the S word when at home.

I can curse like Susie, Jeff's wife in Curb Your Enthusiasm. I think she is absolutely hysterical.

The f word. Because sometimes gosh darn it or meanie head just don't apply. (O saw that on a meme once. made me giggle.) But yeah, the f word.

Well it depends. If possible, I will use the F bomb, if not I say fork, or will write sofa king.

Also ‘Sugar Honey Iced Tea’ gets said sometimes around kids, when we can’t say the acronym for those words but would like to. The southern ‘dayum’ is often uttered for emphasis.

geez

Crud

I swear prodigiously to myself. As I have gotten in older, I swear more. Never in public. My worst is blasphemous: G*d D*m it to F**** H*ll.

Son of a biscuit!! Charlie Foxtrot. Jesus H Christ on rubber crutches.

But usually, if an unexpectedly bad thing, it's just sh*t or f*ck under my breath.

I try to use “carp” consistently, but the F word has been known to escape my lips on occasion as does s**t and combinations of both.

I am fluent in profanity! I try to reserve it for home and in the car, though. "Rats" is my usual go-to. Like others, a well-dropped F-Bomb can be so satisfying.

Imstillcloecat you got me laughing so hard! Too funny...

I say whatever comes to my mind but try like the dickens to keep it civil. Oh crap, darn it and what the heck are usually my go to’s for most things.

I'm in the same club as bossyvossy and imstillchloecat. :)

I misunderstood the question. :) I answered what I would say if I was trying not to swear. By myself, at home, or with one particular friend, all bets are off, anything flies. I fail at censoring my language in private.

sh** or dam. Not usually spoken to anyone, to myself most often when I spill something, make a mess, break something.

If I'm physically hurt (such as a stubbed toe), the f bomb reigns supreme. If I'm deeply dismayed, sh** might do, alternating with f and variations thereof. I try to be more circumspect in public but sometimes foul language slips out. One good thing about watching your own language in public or in front of your kids? when you DO resort to profanity, people pay attention!

To tone it down, I use words like 'shucks' and 'darn' and 'stoopid'.

Was it on this forum, a good couple years ago, that someone posted the funniest story ever about his young daughter using the f word ... ?

You all have me roaring in LOL's. And some of you using THAT word shocks me..haha..a good shock as I now realize you are all only human after all.

I say some of the minor words occasionally, and some of the REALLY BAD ones in my head frequently. Never any profanity in public..ever. Remember I have that persona to protect..**miss goody two shoes**

I remember looking up that word that rhymes with truck...hahaha a long time ago in a British dictionary and if I remember correctly it means to plant. Which is why many many years ago women didn't find it to be crude to yell it during acts of intimancy.

I cuss....a lot. One of the tamer things I may say is Christ on a crutch! I am more apt to say something like Scott.

I'm a big ole cusser. Sometimes I feel bad that I am, but then other times, I'm like ' why the f**k not'? Lol. It is gratifying.

Most of my time there are grandkids nearby, so I always say what they say, "Oh snap!"

I never use the F word. It has to be upsetting to even get a $hit or hell from me.

I was a Marine, but I didn't carry that home with me.

Brushworks that's how I am besides I don't want the kids hearing it..oh I know they will hear it in the outside world I just don't want them hearing it in their world.

I often use friggin' to soften the f word. I also give the two finger salute instead of the flipping the bird.

Maaaaan!

I'm in the "F" word group.....and,when around little ones,I use Flannigan

I don't usually cuss when I am around other people, and definitely not around children. Fortunately, or not fortunately....I don't know....I am usually by myself and the dogs underfoot, hear it the most, although, tonight Val got a good cussing...for all the good it did.

The older I get, the more I swear, but I do it "appropriately" (if that makes any sense lol).

Bossyvossy, I love Curb your Enthusiasm and Yes, I too have had Susie moments.

The last time I used the "f" word was about 1991. The neighbor teenager had shot his younger brother in the eye with a paint gun! Once everything had settled down, weeks later (the boy was taken to an eye specialist and no permanent damage) the kids were talking with my teens and they told me they didn't think I even knew that word! I told them it was a word I know, but do not condone it's use.

Had one neighbor across the street who would call her kids in saying, "Get the f home!" Not my style and didn't expect my kids to use the word.

I curse in the privacy of my home. I drop the F-bomb and like Lucille, I embellish it. In public or around everyone except hubby, I use 'dang it' a lot.

ont gal, would that be Father Flannigan?

Fbomb in my head all the time. With friends or family it’s usually idiotstick, dummyhorn, or holy moley.

You know how they "beep" bad words from tv shows? My grandson, 7, when tempted to say a naughty word, just makes the "beep" sound. It's pretty funny!

I don't swear around him but I suspect his parents do.

>>Was it on this forum, a good couple years ago, that someone posted the funniest story ever about his young daughter using the f word ... ?<<

Might have been me :-). I was driving with my then 3yo DD in her car seat in the back, and stopped at an intersection with my head turned to see oncoming traffic. I asked some innocuous question referring to her Dad, like, "What do you think Daddy would like us to get for dinner?" And with perfect inflection she replied, "How the F--k would _I_ know?" It was lucky my head was turned so she couldn't see me biting my lip to keep from laughing. When I was back in control I told her, "That's a Daddy word. You can't say that word until you're a grown up." It worked until she was about 14 :-)

I try to say "drat". I have been known to use the f word, but only when alone or in suitable company. I remember being totally floored when my late FIL used the f word in a conversation with me, not because I thought it was a shocking word, but that I was shocked that _he_ used it, given his generation. It was something he felt strongly about, which I felt was the reason he had used such a strong word. I wasn't offended at all.

When I do cuss I run everything together. This usually happens when I am alone and come across the idiots who should not be allowed out of their yards much less be driving. Think of George Carlin's 7 dirty words (actually Lenny Bruce's) and add a lot of colorful adjectives between them. That would be me.
You stupid, snot sucking ____ get off the highway you dumb oozing, festering ____.

If you watch or read "Outlander" you could say "Jesus H. Roosevelt Ch**st!" like Claire does. I always thought that was funny. I pretty much say what comes into my mind at that moment. I hate the word sh**, but I catch myself saying it. I'm not above using the "F" word either.

I say, 'Oh, my word!!' and sometimes 'Merde!'

I had a similar thread awhile back on the home decor conversations that you might enjoy.

non-religious oaths

I do not ever use the "f word"! To me, it shows ignorance as well as poor taste, and thankfully, only once have I heard it from my kids or grandkids....and immediately he said, "Sorry mom" and he is now 50 years old and never heard it again. If I spill or break something, I might say "darn".

Someone asked on a forum one time, what is the pet name your significant other calls you? Well, I call him Jody and I think he usually calls me GD Marilyn. It's like, "Well, GD, Marilyn!" I have to occasionally remind him that GD isn't part of my name. Not the initials....the words.

I use 'em all.

For the last few months between work and home issues I can't even begin to count how many times a day the F-bomb is dropped!

When I am being a lady I say "for lands sake", most other times I use words I can't type here!

Darn it works for me, you can use that or even dammit lol

At home alone or just with DH I bomb with the eff everywhere ; when frustrated that is or hurt. When out I use Frick & Frack. I had been using Frick & Frack all the time but I slipped back into the F-bomb. At work I am at my best behaviour.

I go through periods when I get angry with myself for swearing. Born and raised where I was born and raised swearing was part of the English language curriculum though :-)

I'd just like to stop adding to the ugliness. I'm doing pretty well so far.

DH...not so much. (Chicago Bears, you know.) Televised games really set him off for years, until I pointed out that our dog went under the bed a soon as he heard the roar of a crowd.

Then there's the Shakespearian insult generator...thou viperous onion-eyed puttock!

Colleenoz, that might have been one of them! Little kids pick up on *everything* they hear -- to the embarrassment of many a parent if the bomb drops in public!

The other story I'm thinking of involved a Dad overhearing his frustrated 4-year-old girl saying "f, f, f!" (whole word). Dad started a reprimand, "That's a grown up word, I don't think you know what it means..." and child interrupting "Of course I know, it's when you're madder than sh*t!"

Makes perfect sense from a child's point of view...

I knew a woman who called someone she didn't like the b word, well her 4 yo child did the same and her mother laughed. Mother thought it funny while I thought it sad and pathetic. I'm amazed at the people I've met thru my life that think it so cute when a child uses foul words. Guess what than the child starts school and its not so funny any longer. I am completely against using words like this in front of children whether they are mine, yours, or someone else's. We're the adults the role models. And I'm not talking about you folks because I don't think most of you are still raising children.

Yes i sometimes say some not so nice words, but not around the kids. But I'm sure we've all heard patents out there somewhere thst every few words are foul that's the ones that say them so often they don't even realize it nor could they stop themselves because of children or because its inappro in public. Its just a part of their normal.

OK. I'll admit it. I have made references to sauna benches.