Yes, I did get the email. And I thank you for your comments. I may come off as a bit gruff but at my age (60) you don't call everyone dear and sweetie without getting into trouble. But I do indeed love what I do for a living. I love the interaction with the customers. I love the friendships I've made over the years with both fellow exhibitors and promoters. I've made cyber friends with fellow exhibitors and have met at shows. Sometimes we find we've been doing shows together for years. I've made friends from all over this great country. When we do a show in NY state we see friends from Michigan and Wisconsin as well as Colorado and Florida. We've witnessed real friendships. At a show a few years ago in CT we all were setting up the day before and the promoter got a phone call from one exhibitor that was coming from PA. He was towing a 30 foot race car trailer full of crafts when he broke down in NJ. Another crafter who was in CT and setting up grabbed the phone and asked where he was. He then got in his tow vehicle as he had the same type of trailer, and drove to NJ to get his competition's trailer and brought it back to CT so everyone could have a good show! One time in NJ an exhibitor went to a restaurant Saturday evening and his van was broken into and he was robbed of 2 days receipts. Over $10,000. We took up a collection for him on Sunday... and he got MOST of his losses back! You don't see that very often! I've seen beginners setting up and seem lost at what was going on. A seasoned exhibitor stops and helps out. I don't know of any other profession where there is such comoradarie. This is indeed a great business to be in. And when I do a school or fire hall show I see the same things. People helping others. Newbies being helped by those that have been there before. It happens at all levels. I love what I do. And I enjoy the people I do it with. Chris in VT

eldorado, I have to admit I am somewhat skeptical about her intentions now because she originally made the offer to allow you to continue making payments through CSS, and now seems to be expressing a desire to "change the deal". On this issue, I would hold firm. Am I understanding correctly that your X is also in the U.S. and it is only your daughter who is living in India? If so, then your X has just every bit as much to lose as you do by leaving her daughter there, and just as much to gain by bringing her back to the U.S. If my understanding is correct, then I would be willing to bet money that she has been missing her daughter just as much as you, and was planning on bringing her back ANYWAY! I would also be willing to bet money that the ONLY reason she even started communicating with you is because she knows full well that once she does, she would not be able to stop you from enforcing your visitation rights--regardless of whether or not you are making any payments whatsoever! So she figures she might as well strike a deal with you, because it's in her own best interests to do so. So she's not really doing you any favors, but hey! That's business! And I seriously recommend you NOT give her any indication that you know this because if you do, you risk turning the negotiations into a "pissing contest" and if that happens, well, for the sake of their own pride, some people will even hurt themselves by giving up the very thing they want the most, and she just might retaliate by leaving your daughter in India. And my bet is also that she is currently paying a pretty steep fee to the relatives or whoever in India she left your daughter with--I doubt they're taking care of your daughter for her for free! Oh, and if she left them with, say, her parents? Well then my bet is also that her parents may have so bonded with your daughter that your X is starting to realize if she doesn't bring her daughter back soon, she may have a real problem getting her back at all! As far as child support goes, well, the laws on this vary from state-to-state, however it generally is determined by a set formula--and almost every state has the calculations for this right on line. All you have to do is to google, "child support calculator" along with the name of your state, input the variables requested, and the result should tell you exactly what you will be required to pay. So first, use the above method to find out how much you will be required to pay in child support, let her know that you've looked it up, along with the results, and also give her a link to the website so she may do the same. Then I would ask her for the DATE she is thinking of bringing your daughter back, and let her know that you will make the first payment on that very same date. I also recommend you make the offer to at least help pay the expenses of your daughter's return, at least 1/2 the plane fare, if not all. In all fairness, you shouldn't have to pay anything as you were not the one who sent her away, but "fair" doesn't matter right now, your only concern for the time being should be to get your daughter HERE! But I wouldn't bring that up right now in this initial stage of negotiations. I would first run your proposal for CS past her first, and save the issue of plane fare for a little later, to "sweeten the pot" so to speak. And again, do "whatever it takes", within reason of course. And remember, the second your daughter's plane lands, if your X gives you any indication that she will be unreasonable or if she threatens or if you even SUSPECT for a single second that she might try shipping your daughter off again, then IMMEDIATELY run to a lawyer to have an "ex parte" or emergency motion filed to prevent her from doing so. An "ex parte" motion can generally be granted the VERY SAME DAY it is filed, and if she tries to send your daughter off anyway, not only can she be arrested and held in jail for "contempt of court" but will be subject to federal kidnapping charges as well. And once your daughter is here, well, if your X is now working and making her own money--and especially if she's doing well, you may very well be able to go back into court for a modification of the "spousal support", which very few states now even grant ANY "spousal support," and the ones that do, it's usually only for a certain time period anyway. All of that's a mote point though until, again, you get your daughter HERE, so again, "whatever it takes", but I do tend to think you're in a much stronger position with her than you may realize--but again, it would serve no purpose in letting her know that and might actually harm your chances, so for now, I recommend you just comply. As far as the money you have been putting in trust? In order to answer as to whether or not you should tell your X about this, I would need some idea what type of trust account it is? Is this a trust in your name, or one in your daughter's name? Who has control over the money in this trust?

There are times when someone would like to privately email a GW member - maybe they would like that person to check out their thread or maybe they have a question specific to that person's kitchen. In any case, the ability to privately email a GW member does exist. . . Emailing Members Etiquette There is "etiquette" involved in emailing others. If you email someone privately, it's common courtesy to be willing to reveal your email address to that person - especially if you want a reply. Anonymous emails are discouraged, even if you don't expect a reply. Another point, which shouldn't have to be mentioned but does: Be polite and don't "bully". Don't email someone to tell them you don't like something they said/did/etc. Many people find it easy to criticize/blast others b/c they are, for all intents and purposes, anonymous. Let's all adhere to the mantra: "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything". Lastly, please be aware of what we all agreed to when we signed up for GW: This form is not to be used for advertising or promotion. (This includes links to your own commercial sites in a signature) . . So, how do you email a GW member? First, be sure you have email turned on for your account: In the upper right corner of most GW pages, you will find a "Your Profile" link - select it. Scroll down to the greenish-yellowish shaded area at the bottom with all the checkboxes. Select "Members" from the dropdown box labeled "Show my email address to:" (As of September 2013, this does not appear to affect what is displayed in the "Posted by" line) Check the box next to "Allow other users to send you email from your profile page or if you wish to receive message reply notifications." Now, select the "Save Your Member Profile" button below the shaded area. You're done! You can now receive replies to your private emails. Note: If you don't want your email address showing up in general, then set the "Show my email address to" option to "Members" just before you send your private email and set it back to "None" after you've sent your private email. Next, you need to get to someone's "member page". There are several ways to do this: Option 1: Find a message the person has posted and open their page by selecting the "My Page" link next to their member's name in a message. For example: Posted by buehl (My Page) on Tue, Sep 24, 13 at 22:27 Note the "(My Page)" next to the member's name (in this case, "buehl"). Option 2: Use the URL below. Replace "" with the person's GW username: http://www.gardenweb.com/auth/nph-logincheck.cgi?action=public_profile&user= In the case of member "buehl": http://www.gardenweb.com/auth/nph-logincheck.cgi?action=public_profile&user=buehl Option 3: Use GW's "Member Pages" page. From the navigation bar along the top of most pages: Hover over the "Tools & Resources" option. A dropdown menu will appear. From the dropdown menu, select: Member pages Select the "Search for Members" link Enter the member's user name in the "Names beginning with" box Optionally, use one of the other search criteria as well Select the "Search" button In all cases, it will bring up that person's member page and, if that person is willing to allow others to email them, it will include a link that says "Send me an email". Select the "Send me an email" link. On the next page, enter: The Subject of your email - make it descriptive and informative Your message Optionally, check the box to "Send a copy of this to my email address" (This sends a copy of the email to your email address.) Select the "Submit your message" button The email will be sent.

I'm sorry to tell you these things, but I think he's a dangerous person to be around and I would not have him visiting in my home. He's already hurting people but masks it by the silly-factor. But he's hurting them just like he hurt you. That was not funny! :( I think the age difference in itself is a huge concern, this is not a healthy relationship in any way. Maybe she likes to feel needed and he needs a mother (although probably more so just want someone to take advantage of), and maybe it makes her feel young and attractive that a young stud wants HER! But this is supposed to be an upcoming marriage, not an adoption of a troubled child. Ask her if she really believes in her heart that he will be a great husband in the long run, and will be there for her, supporting her and protecting, helping her in daily life and when life gets rough (he isn't, even now...) And will he be a fantastic father of her children, loving and protecting them, be a strong role model, guide, teacher of good and bad, give them healthy boundaries, help them grow up and mature to one day be responsible, healthy, independent adults? I don't think so. Definitely try to help her, but realize she may or may not listen. Some women (and men) will go ahead and make a poor choice even with all the warnings in the world. This marriage (if it happens) will not end well. I personally know so many who were warned not to marry a certain person, did it anyway, and have had nothing but problems. See if you can get her to read 10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, that might open her eyes to the danger of what's she's doing. It may be all cute to her now, but later on she'll need a MAN. This guy is a boy at best. A predator, perhaps (probably). I'm very sorry, and I hate telling you these things because I know it will make your heart hurt so badly! I'd love to give you reassurance that it will be just fine. But I think you already know. So now, just work at reaching her. Definitely try your best to help her see that a huge life decision such as a marriage is worth pushing back to make sure she's making the right decision. Hopefully in that time she'll realize the mistake of being with him. All the best to you and your daughter!!! (((HUG)))