Sounds like you're in the home stretch! It's not easy, we've been in planing stage for 2 years and about ready to go. Lot of work and putting every room together with selections can boggle the mind. Enjoy the moment and you'll be fine!

Sounds like you're doing it the smart way planning everything before the build begins! Too much of ours was left to "oh that can be figured out later."

But thank you for the encouragement, I need to fix my attitude. I wish you the best of luck with your build!

Thanks and same to you, you're almost there ! Being OCD, I wanted to know exactly where we stood especially budget wise. Far too easy to let costs get out of control and we've got a budget and sticking to it.

I've never built a new home but have gone through a few "completely down to the studs" remodels plus a large scale addition. I can relate to the decision overload, regrets, and stress you're feeling. In the end, once everything was mostly done, a lot of those feelings went away or at least seemed much less important to me than they did in the moment.

Congrats on getting to the home stretch and I hope you enjoy your beautiful new home!

We have purchased a fixer upper(very early in our marriage), built a new house, lived in a mobile home, and currently live in our 1965 built Retire/Expire home. Through all that, my wife waffled on decisions and put off making decisions. She waited 5 years to get the exact living room curtains she wanted(limited funds), but eventually got exactly what she wanted.

Your experience is a fairly common(and normal but exasperating) situation. I did work for folks who had trouble picking a color for a room and took weeks deciding. I've had customers change their minds in the middle of a renovation and decide after something was finished it was wrong.

You are doing the best that can be done, even when you fret about a decision. Just remember, you can grow to love something you were not sure about, nothing will ever be exactly the right way, and almost everything can be changed/altered in time.

linzita512 please don't feel as if you're the only one or beat yourself up for decisions made. Everyone goes through this building process in a different way based on the tools available to them at that moment. You certainly have other things requiring your immediate and constant attention like small children and homeschooling so naturally can't spend the time on build details the way someone with grown kids or a retiree can. I'd be babbling in a corner at the thought of homeschooling my boys!! I'm sure your house will be lovely and functional - there is no perfect. And if you need to adapt a bit to your new house just remember you'd have to do the same thing if you bought an already existing house. Be flexible, approach living in the house with an open mind not with an expectation of things having to be a certain way or in a certain place and you'll make adjustments that will work for you and your family. If there are decisions yet to make that you're struggling with don't hesitate to ask for help. You may not be able to change the floor plan but the right cabinetry or flooring might make you smile every day.

Looking back it is mind boggling how much time and energy went into some of the smallest decisions. And adding it all up was a full time job in itself some weeks. We just moved in 2 months ago majority of things worked out. Very little would change. Follow your gut. It will all work out in the end.

So much I've learned and would do differently next time, not sure there will be a next time.

I'm sorry you're overwhelmed. Would it help to allow yourself a weekend /week /whatever's possible reprieve? That is, give yourself a break during which you just won't answer anything? If possible, would that recharge your batteries?

I know it won't help you, but would you share some of these things you say you would do differently?

GREAT idea, you don't know how many times I just closed a file my computer and after a few days when I started again, fresh ideas.

Your feelings of being overwhelmed are totally valid - it sounds like you're balancing a lot. The only advice I have would be 1) don't stress over things you can't change (so don't second guess the bedroom location, for example), as they'll undoubtedly work out; and 2) prioritize your decision making energy into things that would be difficult to change later and don't invest too much thought and stress into things that are easy to change. So spend more time on things like cabinets, floors, and counters and don't worry too much about things like wall color and cabinet hardware.

Yup, focus on the positive. So what about the master? You don't spend that much waking time in there anyway-- focus on what you did do right! And the finish choices that you still get to make! We live in a tract house--there's so many things GW has taught me that are stupid-wrong about how our house is laid out (I would never have thought of those things on my own, or even noticed them). But I would be overjoyed to pick out just a new kitchen countertop. So, it's all relative. Don't beat yourself up, it will probably be wonderful, and I hope your kitchen countertop turns out to be luscious and wonderful!

We are building and are probably about where you are. Painters and trim carpenters in the house today. This has been a long drawn out process. What starts as a fun and exciting project, somehow becomes much less so towards the end. I think personally, I'm so mentally exhausted that it's hard to make decisions I try to concentrate on one area at a time. It's impossible to pick every thing all at once. Light fixtures have been a major chore for me ! (and i am not done with those ) I spend nights researching ideas, and watching Property Brothers reruns! Then I choose something and move on to the next.. am hoping to be in our home by mid October. I hope this helps you, to realize you are not the only home owner to go through these stresses.

I, also, sometimes have to stop and be thankful for where we are in our process.

Good luck

Hang in there, sister. Play the long game. I am where you are, with WAYYYYYYY longer to go, but I am trying to say that it's still "the right thing to do" and will be worth it. Like some sort of Zen mantra.

I think everyone building a house gets to the point where you are. Should I have picked the other cabinets, oh crap I should have thought of that earlier, I can't believe I forgot to ask about that or the best:

"I just want this to be over!!!!!".

Hang in there, you will love it when you start moving in and realize, it's alright.

April, I can see I'll have to modify that timeline with my own version when I get back on the real computer. (6 months???)

Linzeta, you are not alone! Most of us have either been exactly where you are or will be at some point. I called it my "whatever" stage and I think I posted here to vent about it (very similar to your post) but actually reaching that stage does help you sort the little things out, stop second guessing yourself, and roll with the punches. As we enter the final stretch, it is still stressful, but most of the time the joy and gratitude that we are able to take this crazy ride overcomes the stress -- most of the time, anyway.

This is our third time. I forgot how much I disliked building. I tend to over analyze everything which tends to lead to worry and second guessing. And the anxiety is a PIA. DH is sleeping like a log and I'm worrying about window flashing and not having thresholds.

I suspect most of us on this board are like that. Those that aren't like that are not analyzing and driving themselves crazy with research. They often just trust their builders and go with the flow. They don't even know to have regrets because perhaps they never knew about the other options. I doubt that they are on this board.

No matter how much time and energy you put into your house it will not be perfect. You will have regrets. All of us will. The best you can hope for is that the regrets will be small and that overall you will love your home.

Well lets see. My day started today with a phone call saying that I needed to come downstairs. (I'm in a high rise condo) There was someone wanting to deliver a pallet of 19 boxes and the condo can't have a pallet sitting downstairs in the lobby.

I had ordered lights and thought they'd be Fedexed to me. No, they trucked it in, put it on a pallet and came a day early because they said they'd be there tomorrow. Add to that and the guy delivering said he was not going to open the wrapping and strapping to remove the boxes. He said his orders were to just deliver them to the front door of the condo.

After calling my salesman, I finally told the delivery man he either opens the pallet so I can remove the boxes or he can take it all back. Then I had to go get the two luggage racks to put the boxes on. The shipper actually helped me load them onto the luggage racks but I had to get them upstairs myself. Add to that, no one would help me bring them upstairs.

Once I actually got them upstairs and unloaded, the salesman called me back to let me know the shipper was absolutely supposed to unwrap the boxes from the pallet and put them INSIDE my apartment. Gee Thanks!

Now I have those 19 boxes plus another dozen with handles, more lights, etc sitting in the dining area.

Then I drove to the house. We finally have AC, except in the main rooms of the house. What happened? The idiot who installed it put the return duct into the supply duct and visa versa for the public areas of the house. So basically the main zone doesn't work.

For over a week we (both myself, the builder and the supervisor) have been calling the HVAC company. Each day they lie to us saying they're on the way. Today the president promised us he was going to come inspect it himself and would be there sometime after 2 PM and would call when he was 1/2 hour from the house. He never called.

I called him and he texted me back, "I can't talk right now. I'll call you back shortly." That was at 3:10 PM today and it is now 10:47 PM with no call back. So now the builder is sending a notice that it MUST be fixed within 72 hours or they are terminating the contract. Meanwhile I only have AC in the upstairs and the master suite area and my floors are supposed to go in starting on Tuesday.

Right before this happened, I walked into my master bathroom to look at the tile going up. They tiled over an area they weren't supposed to tile over. Instead that area is supposed to have a wood return. So the sub had to pull down part of the tile and then cut some off the edge.

Later the super and I met with the sub who will be doing the rock on the lower level of my house. He looked at the two pallets of rocks that were sitting there and said there needs to be two more pallets. My builder's office ordered too little.

The painters did an excellent job of painting the outside of my house except for one thing. They painted the face of the trim with the trim color, but left the sides with the house color, so the trim appears to be flat instead of dimensional like it should be.

My front door was supposed to match BM Caliente but it doesn't. It's a bright red instead and with the green colors of the house, my house looks like it's ready for Christmas. That would be fine, but we don't even celebrate Christmas!

Then at dinner time the sub who will be doing the rocks called me because he was upset. He let me know the rocks my builder bought were too large. I realized he was right as the ones I had samples of were 4"-6" and these were double the size.

Then I came home to a change order to move one of the outdoor spigots. Only problem? When we had our redline meeting back in July of 2016, I told them I didn't want this spigot inside the garage but on the outside. Problem? That was told to the supervisor who is no longer with the company and back then I wasn't smart enough to write every single thing down and then send a copy to every one like I do now.

That was just my day today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a day where everything feels like it's falling into place but I'm not counting on it.

Add to that the million and one things I'm second guessing like you are. That is perfectly natural, but once you make a decision, try to let go of it and let it happen because building is hard enough without also beating yourself over the head for your own choices.

It's sort of like when I start a drawing. Each drawing I create is going to be absolutely perfect. At least it is in my head. After I'm finished, I can always find lots of things I'd do differently but I've learned instead to embrace the good (if imperfect) job I did and move on.

Those of us building a house need to do the same thing. Is it easy to do? Not at all but it will be so much more rewarding when we can let go of the perfection.

When I was a child, I watched my parents have two different houses designed by an architect and custom built. We sold the first house without ever getting to live in it - my father was transferred. The 2nd house had delay after delay - major flooding on midwest rivers, construction materials underwater - you name it. They finally got us into one large bedroom and bath on the 2nd floor, and the kitchen, but I watched the builders/plasterers/painters come every single day, and heard my mother yet again, tell them what they had done wrong and must re-do. I vowed to NEVER build a house and I have kept that.

But I've done three major remodeling jobs on two different houses, one involving two additions. Might as well have been building a house - all the same problems and decisions. I regret very little of what I did on either house - actually, I regret nothing, as I had planned these to the point of obsession. There are a few subs and one general contractor I wish I'd never hired. The GC was a total flake and drove me nuts.

Even my kitchen remodeling last year was a huge job, and it didn't involve moving any plumbing and only minor electrical moving. But it did involve removing soffits and putting in a new ceiling and that was an unholy mess. Did I mention that we were living in the house for ALL these remodeling?

It IS very stressful and due to the enormous expense, one wants it to be "right". You'll be happy in the end, and like labor when delivering a baby, much of the pain will be forgotten.

(I don't know how to tag people or I would ... ?) But thank you ALL for your comments, I have felt more at peace today accepting things I cannot change and can grow to love as someone suggested, and just got on to find so many of your comments and shared experiences uplifting, the advice I needed to hear - its good to know its not just me pulling my hair out, and then feeling guilty for stressing over building a brand new, beautiful home for my family. Keeping my eyes on the big picture and counting my blessings. I don't know anyone else personally going through the process so I'm grateful for you to take the time to reply and encourage a stranger!

ILoveRed - yes, yes yes. You described me. And my sleeping husband, while I'm awake late into the night researching, questioning...

cpartist oh my goodness what a day you had!! hopefully tomorrow won't even compare and be immeasurably smoother.

And April, I love the timeline - hopefully things will move upward for us as suggested, I'm glad to see maybe there's not another nosedive ahead... but yes, 6 months is optimistic!

MrsPete I've been thinking about my list for you...will get back to that.

Agreed, we are in the 'home stretch' today, meeting with our builder for the final walkthrough.

We documented over 200 deficiencies during the course of the build, many due to the lack of knowledge of the builder, and his over-trusting his trades (many of whom fed him a few lines of bullcrap along the way...)

We had the builder repeatedly request funds in advance of meeting the requirements for a draw, invoice with incorrect taxes, blatantly and purposely ignore the contract requirement for us to be notified and/or present at inspections because he 'never had to do that before', and force us to involve the local building inspector to get things 'done right' according to either code, or manufacturer's instructions.

This week, our lawyers have been talking, and hopefully our builder will be calm enough during the walkthrough that I won't have to throw him out of my house!

So I hear ya!!!

PS - I'd build again, but I'd 100% self build instead. (For this one we had a GC do the shell and mech/electrical/plumbing/hvac roughins)

Welcome to one more club you had no intention of joining! :-p

Seriously, as you can see, many of us have been there. I've had two houses built and I don't think I need the experience again. It's great to have a place that is uniquely your own and surrounded by things you picked out just so. But, as you've discovered, it comes at a price beyond the monetary. You are close to the end, so I hope you can find it in yourself to push on to the finish line.

In the meantime, though, you may be able to take some steps to minimize the crazy. One is reducing the almost-infinite universe of choices. Houzz is a great site and the Internet is a wonderful thing. But we now have so many more choices to evaluate for everything -- and the resulting vague feeling that we've missed the perfect sink/furnace/paint color/outlet layout/whatever because we didn't dig just a bit deeper and think a bit longer.

We chose to shrink our universe by telling ourselves that, if we couldn't find the "whatever" somewhere in our metropolitan area of 3 million people, it wasn't a choice for us. We also took a breath and realized that our lives were going to change. We didn't know how or when, but it was unlikely that even careful selections made (even for our "forever" house) would work for us for all time.

Both of those choices made it easier to "settle" and manage the stupefying amount of choices and deadlines which existed. I don't know if you're at a point where that helps at all, but it helped us.

Hang in there! You'll be much happier with the house once you and your family have moved in.

^^^ Great advice steve_o