What a tough situation for you and your work colleagues to be going through. I am so sorry.

If it is indeed suicide I hope that your work will provide some support services. Others may be feeling the same.

You did what you could. It might have seemed that after all that time of checking, he was stable.

I agree totally with Georgy and Blf.

HR has already offered to set up counseling to anyone that wants it, regardless the reason for his death. He was well liked. We are going to miss him a lot.

I've worked with people who suffered from depression. I'm sorry for them, but it is also exhausting to be constantly on edge -- I'm talking years -- thinking they are never going to be 'care' free. Some were generally depressed. Some were alcoholics. Others had periods of profound depression. Several of these people did commit suicide.

Don't beat yourself up over this.

I feel for you. Suicide leaves a painful path for those left behind. You were there for him, talking to him at the time you thought he needed the help. You were not to know. Hugs. I recently lost a good friend who was in turmoil but didn't show it outwardly. Talking and joking with him on FB just hours before his death. At his wake, his sister said after his death she noticed the subtle signs something was wrong, just not this.

Two of my dear friends have committed suicide during my lifetime; one I was worried about because I knew how she was suffering so, the other was more surprising. Although I knew she suffered from depression and was having a tough time with her physical body, I never imagined suicide.

The friend who I worried about presented a joyful, loving spirit (which she was), but few people knew of her struggles. So when she died, her very large community of friends were blindsided. They suffered as you are, wondering what they could have done, why didn't they know, etc. I do know that she was in therapy and on medications for a long time. Sometimes, there just is nothing anyone else can do. Try to be at peace that you were there for him, he knew you'd shown compassion and he could have turned to you if he chose to. Please have no regrets for something out of your control.

I'm sorry for the loss of him to his friends and family.

It's hard to lose anyone for any reason, but there's a unique sharpness to the loss of someone to suicide. If you or the family or anyone needs help dealing with it, I recommend the Survivor Outreach Program from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. All the volunteers have lost someone to suicide and they will listen and share resources of where you can go to get more help.

Please don't think there was anything you could have done..

Depression is excruciatingly painful. The decision to end that pain isn't made lightly. It's a tough decision, but it was his to make...

(((PKponder TX)))

PKponder - When I think of the people that have passed, much too young and not by choice, suicide seems so senseless. Brian must have been very troubled to make that decision. I am sorry for your loss.

I would try to remember the good times. The conversations you had with this person may have kept him "here" another day. Being more diligent, watching more closely....is asking too much of a coworker. Take a deep breath. Don't blame yourself.

I agree with everyone above. And empathize. I am an expert unfortunately on sudden deaths. Don't blame yourself. It will be hard, but find a beam of peaceful light however small in you. And share that with others who are also hurting.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The hole where someone loved was is too hard to bear sometimes.

My sister has made 4 attempts since she was 16 and still lives. She's 65 yrs old now. Each time we came home early from a trip or a friend stopped by on time for serious medical intervention. She's always had constant loving care and lives with my other sister so as said above when someone spirals in that direction there is not stopping them. We have been lucky but who knows if that will continue. :(

I am so sorry. You might want to talk to the grief counselor that your company is providing. Sometimes hearing another person say something, especially if that person is an expert in the field, makes us really believe it. If the counselor says there was nothing you could have done, you will hear the ring of Truth in that.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your co-worker and for the circumstances. If it turns out he committed suicide, please try to remember that if a person is really determined to harm themselves, nothing we say or do will stop them. You were a good friend to Brian and he probably appreciated that as much as his pain would allow. Be kind to yourself during this painful time.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments.

I'm sorry for your loss, PK. It's nice that he was well thought of and liked at work and will be missed.