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The Kitchen Table

remember my friend from work who passed away in Jun

15 years ago

Her daughter Rach (who also worked with us) is really struggling with her death. She has finally gone back to work part time but is looking for other employment. All she can remember is seeing her Mom having a massive heart attack up by the registers where we work everyday.

Marg (friend who passed) has had a partner for the past 2 years or so. He was a recovering alcoholic. The night she was put on life support he started drinking and saying he couldn't live without her. Rach went to the house and had a long talk with him and threw out all the booze. Since Marg's death he has moved back to where he was from about 50 miles away. The other day he texted Rach that he wanted to die and had taken a hand full of pills. She got on the phone with him asap. I don't know what the outcome of that was (I'm in USA on vacation now and Rach is still in UK) a friend from work e-mailed me this information yesterday.

I know Rach will try to support her mom's partner but the poor girl has had enough heartache and shouldn't have to deal with him not being able to cope because she is struggling so much herself. I want to send her a nice card but I don't know what to say to her. I know Marg would be furious with her partner for putting this on Rach.

Diane

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Comments (5)

tami_ohio
15 years ago
Diane, a nice thinking of you card should be appropriate. I will keep her in my prayers.
Tami
Georgysmom
15 years ago
OMG This poor, poor girl has her hands full. I have no suggestions other than a "Thinking of you" card or an "Encouragement card" and tell her to "hang tight" you'll be back soon. It's just so hard to find the proper words when words seem so meaningless right now.
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jannie
15 years ago
A thinking of you card would be great. Try not to give her "advice" unless she specifically asks. Sounds like she should cut her mom's partner out of her life. But that's my opinion. Just be there to listen to her. My sympathy to all .
rosepetal2
Original Author
15 years ago
thanks everyone. I'm getting a card to send to her today.
I think George (Marg's partner) became close to Marg's family because he wasn't close to his own , except when they wanted money. I'm sure he was closer to Rach since she was always with Marg so I'm sure he's feeling he has lost it all. I remember Marg saying that they had a cake and party for him for his 60th birthday and he cried because no one had ever done such a nice thing for him. I also think he's drinking a lot again and he may have been drunk when he texted Rach. It's all just so sad.
Thanks again
Diane
lynn_d
15 years ago
I'm so sorry that Rach has this to deal with as well as her own grief. I would imagine that George indeed is lost at this point, Marg's passing was so sudden. I hope that Rach sits him down and has a long talk about the loss they have suffered and how her mom would feel about the road he is choosing to travel. Life is so fragile.

I would send her a loving card, Diane, and let her know that you too miss her mom, and that you are there for her. She will appreciate the thought.

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