InTheGreen, I'm sorry I misread your post I thought you said you had children. My son was disabled but he worked everyday and did everything he was able to do. A lot more than people expected him to be able to do. I lived for him, my life was structured around him. For 30 years I didn't do anything unless my schedule was clear of things he needed me to do. From doctor's appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, school and then work. I was his chauffeur, he was my confidante and my partner in crime. I did things I didn't want to do simply because he wanted to do them and in the end I always ended up having a good time because I was with him. I miss him touching my hand and arm and just with that touch he was telling me things would be ok. I miss him rubbing my neck on the way home from work, because he knew I was tired and had a neckache but still cooked for him and my parents and was on time to pick him up from work. I miss his wicked little laugh when he did something he was proud of that had ticked someone off. It's the little things that set me into a crying jag. After he died, everyone who spoke of him told me that no matter how busy he was he always took time to talk to them and make sure they felt special. He loved life and he loved people. His death has affected me in a way I never dreamed possible. Sometimes at night when I lay down I tell myself it's ok if I don't wake up...but I know he wouldn't want that. I still have my parents to look after, even though they are at the end of their lives. They need me and I need them. My husband could go on without me, it would be hard for him because I have done everything for him during the almost 35 years we've been married, but he could get by. You and I have made it through the holidays so we can make it through another day and then another one after that. I only take one day at a time and some days are ok and some are horrible. Today was a horrible day, I found that after Thanksgiving it took a day or two for me to feel the backlash. I managed to get through yesterday ok, but today was like a ton of bricks fell on me. Tomorrow I have work to do so I will suck it up and do what I have to do and hopefully be able to get through it. Wednesday will be another day that stands on its own until I get there. Be with your wife, love her as much as you can and let her know you are always there for her. Focus everything on her and give her what you wanted to give your mother. As a wife, I would love to be treated in a way that put me on a pedestal, my husband is not like that; I am on my own to grieve even though he loved our son too, they had a different relationship and men grieve differently from women. Or so I am told. You could make peoples' lives so much easier with your money, so please think of setting up foundations in your mother's name to help those less fortunate so her name will be a name that everyone knows. Honor her in a way that would make her proud. We will get through this...at least I hope we do. Good luck, you are in my thoughts.

Wondering...your Mom most likely feels close to her son...they share a home now...why should she want to see him homeless upon her death? If she buys his cigs and booze..he must be doing enough household duties to get those things..she may buy them whether he did or did not do anything for her....have you ever gone there to help out? Run errands, take her to dr....all those things that adult kids do for parents?? Maybe...your brother feels obligated to live there....be her housemate because he does not see anyone else stepping up to do the maintenance that she may need to run a house...I have seen this arrangement for years with men who live with parents... They give up certain life events such as dating, marrying and sometimes holding a good job because demands at home do not allow it...when my father was ill...I could not work....I had my own home but had to stay at home just to be able to care for my fathers transportation needs to drs ofc. My mother would not do it.... It sometimes appears as if the brother has a great time, but have you actually thought of the things he may have to deal with...maybe that is why the booze...is your concern having the will favor you some? I think your mom might see you as someone who she cannot depend on...I have a mother who made it public knowledge that she favored her boys over her daughters....she even said it as I was carting her a** around town running errands...while my oldest bro...her favorite did not lift a finger for her...ever..that I saw.... My middle bro owns the house...mother is not that crazy about him...but she will leave anything she has to my younger bro....older bro has his own money too....I do not go to my mothers house because when I did my brothers wete verbally hateful....you never knew what they would say....my mother basically kicked me to the curb 14 years ago when I started working full time....if I could not do things for her...she had no reason to talk to me..as she had done to all five of daughters....when my older sister passed away...she did not want to really talk to me after all that time...nephew passed away several months prior and I sat next to her after 12 yrs and she got up and left room. When my sister passed away she started speaking to me only to get a ride to funeral home...after that..nothing...about 2 yrs later after a conversation with another sister about problems in my marriage...my mother calls about a month or so later.....only to hear the details...thinking I would tell her anything...when I did not give her what she wanted...she stopped calling...my mother was just vacant emotionally to her daughters...not much better with sons but she treated them better.... If you are smart...you will let your brother be with this issue....some women thrive on seeing their kids fight..mine did....I have nothing to say to my mother that would mean anything at this point...she raised her kids half a**ed...but we all turned out good.....the girls all have had marital problems...and dependence on husbands because we were forced to leave home by the time we were sixteen....I did not go to clg till I was an adult and had no op to have a real career... I say all this because some women are just born to make trouble for their kids...they will play one off on the other....thats likely what she is doing now...her way of saying..."see what i did"...

You should be thinking about who is going to buy your house later when you want or need to sell it. A shoddy renovation will turn buyers off and they will run from your house. It's okay to have some inexpensive finishes....laminate countertop, etc but shoddy work is a sale killer every time. If buyers see shoddy wk in one area, they will assume that it is like that everywhere. Plumbing is a very important aspect of a home, and should be done correctly. Save some $ on countertops, etc, don't skimp on something important like plumbing. You might save some $ now, but will regret it later. Good luck on your Reno. Post some pictures. We would love to see them.

Condolences for your loss. Mother's Day is coming up. You might consider a digital picture display with a light colored frame with happy pictures loaded to add light and prompt happy memories.. https://www.google.com/search?q=electric+digital+photo+frame&client=firefox-b-1-d&source=univ&tbm=shop&tbo=u&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjd_b7llbnoAhXEmuAKHRT1DIgQsxh6BAgOECs&biw=1366&bih=654#spd=9152850867742305625 You might remove the too small rug altogether and add a small light/bright colored storage ottoman or even a coffee table where she can keep family photographs. Agree with the suggestion that you try swapping the loveseat and rocker locations. With the loveseat moved, you can dress the patio door/window. If that is a sliding door, a wood or metal rod in the bottom rail might make the room "feel" more secure -- no need to block it with a sofa. A lot of people don't care for vertical blinds but I consider them perfect for a patio door or even a large row of windows in an informal / contemporary room. White vinyl vertical blinds would provide more privacy and light control options than drapes. If your mom's window is on the north side of the building, she'll not be getting any sunlight directly into her room and that may be one reason why the room is "dark" . If any light comes in ... or even if it doesn't ... consider adding a brightly colored sun catcher or two that can be attached to the window via small plastic suction cup. https://www.google.com/search?q=tiffany+suncatchers&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwigr7T2k7noAhUvmuAKHahuBwcQ_AUoAnoECAsQBA&biw=1366&bih=628 There are fabric covers for sofas and love seats. Perhaps you could find a light colored one for at least one of her pieces. Alternately, a light colored afghan or throw might help. Instead of getting rid of the cabinet(s) in the corner(s), you could add a tall thin lamp with a large white shade there. If the big box store options are out of price range, check with Habitat for Humanity or Good Will or other local charity sponsored thrift stores for bargains.