In the Green,
You are lucky you see your mother in your dreams. I lost my son in July, he died suddenly and he was my only child. I rarely dream, and have only dreamed about twice since his death and only once was he in my dream, but only briefly. I wish I could see him in my dreams. I will never answer the phone and hear "Hey Ma", I won't get anymore texts from him, never again will I be able to hug him, talk about football with him, go to concerts or do things with him. I started my new career with my son as my impetus. He was the reason why I wanted to change careers so I could give him everything I never could when he was growing up.
You have a family, wife and kids. Give them the attention that you want to give your mom. Maybe that's why she had to go, so you could turn your attention to the family you created with your wife.
I wish you peace as I search for peace over the loss of my son.

I can only imagine a loss greater than losing one's mom and that would be losing a child. My heart goes out to you.

My wife is totally disabled and so was my mother for years before she passed away. I have no children and I have no other family.

I am hanging around only to take care of my wife and after she is gone, I look forward to following my mother and wife. But for now, I have unfinished work.

I pray that the loss of your son becomes less painful as time goes by.

InTheGreen,
I'm sorry I misread your post I thought you said you had children. My son was disabled but he worked everyday and did everything he was able to do. A lot more than people expected him to be able to do.
I lived for him, my life was structured around him. For 30 years I didn't do anything unless my schedule was clear of things he needed me to do. From doctor's appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, school and then work. I was his chauffeur, he was my confidante and my partner in crime. I did things I didn't want to do simply because he wanted to do them and in the end I always ended up having a good time because I was with him. I miss him touching my hand and arm and just with that touch he was telling me things would be ok. I miss him rubbing my neck on the way home from work, because he knew I was tired and had a neckache but still cooked for him and my parents and was on time to pick him up from work. I miss his wicked little laugh when he did something he was proud of that had ticked someone off. It's the little things that set me into a crying jag.
After he died, everyone who spoke of him told me that no matter how busy he was he always took time to talk to them and make sure they felt special. He loved life and he loved people. His death has affected me in a way I never dreamed possible.
Sometimes at night when I lay down I tell myself it's ok if I don't wake up...but I know he wouldn't want that. I still have my parents to look after, even though they are at the end of their lives. They need me and I need them.
My husband could go on without me, it would be hard for him because I have done everything for him during the almost 35 years we've been married, but he could get by.
You and I have made it through the holidays so we can make it through another day and then another one after that. I only take one day at a time and some days are ok and some are horrible. Today was a horrible day, I found that after Thanksgiving it took a day or two for me to feel the backlash. I managed to get through yesterday ok, but today was like a ton of bricks fell on me. Tomorrow I have work to do so I will suck it up and do what I have to do and hopefully be able to get through it. Wednesday will be another day that stands on its own until I get there.
Be with your wife, love her as much as you can and let her know you are always there for her. Focus everything on her and give her what you wanted to give your mother. As a wife, I would love to be treated in a way that put me on a pedestal, my husband is not like that; I am on my own to grieve even though he loved our son too, they had a different relationship and men grieve differently from women. Or so I am told.
You could make peoples' lives so much easier with your money, so please think of setting up foundations in your mother's name to help those less fortunate so her name will be a name that everyone knows. Honor her in a way that would make her proud.
We will get through this...at least I hope we do.
Good luck, you are in my thoughts.

I feel the same way about my mom. She passed as well I'm so heart broken