I can speak from personal experience that CFs facing down last (we purchased ones that say they can face up or down, but the ones we have are not dimmable). We have one that has been on 24 hours per day for over 18 months and it is still going strong (it lights the stairwell to the basement where the cat's litter box is). We also have numerous CF's that face up, and those are lasting fine as well. The only CFs we've had to replace are the undercabinet ones. I think the ones that came with the fixtures must have been junk because I've had to replace almost all of them. When we were building our house we has numerous instances of the electrician basically making up his own code (sometimes stricter than code, sometimes less strict). He was fired (for the "less strict" issues), and someone much better was hired. That guy was very good, but a little over cautious (every outlet in my kitchen is 20 amp and on a GFCI).

In some ways you and I have had similar problems. I am not religious. Perhaps you are putting too much reliance on your religious leanings to show you how to solve your problems ? Just a thought. Anyway..my home life has improved a lot, because we moved out of the destructive home life we were heading for. We bought a vastly smaller house, in the city, with a tiny couryard. In doing the move, we have reduced our financial outgoings, there is less housework, gardening etc. The are cafes, art galleries, parks, people, communities, just out the door. We walk everywhere. We do things together we enjoy ! I guess I am saying - sometimes if you change your circumstances things can be so different, and new challenges present themselve. In doing that, your focus on the difficulties that you are experiencing now, fade into the background. Or you can see things from a different perspective. I realized that my DH was never going to be a person who "did things around the house" and I became resentful, that I was doing it all. Perhaps some lateral thinking on your part might help you. You don't want to plod on in your life and become bitter and resentful. Sure you can see better ways for your DH to relate to your children, but don't become a "policeman" who picks faults in his fathering. I could see glaring faults in the way my DH related to our children, over the years, but I guess they have grown up now, and we often sit and talk about what went wrong when they were younger. He knows he did things wrongly and has made ammends. Perhaps your DH might relfect on that one day. Tracystoke says your problem is not a serious one. Perhaps a better way to look at it - is that the problem is "fixable", it has the potential to be "fixed". I will stop rambling now. Good luck with it all.

thank you all for your comments. You are all right of course, I haven't helped my son at all by doing everything for him and not expecting anything from him and I so want to change all that. When my b/f was living here as a lodger I was so caught up in the conflict that I couldnt see which way to turn, my son wasnt going to college or working just lazing in bed all day and my b/f works nights so would get up midday and phone me at work and complain that son had his friends in so I would phone son and tell him no friends in the house whilst you're not working as all they do is watch TV, he would react with why is b/f telling on me, it just went round and round in circles with no end in sight. I tried to talk to my b/f and ask him to try a different tactic with my son such as 'shall we paint the hallway for your mum' so when she gets home from work she has something to be pleased about? Or one of them cooking the dinner would have been nice! But no just row after row. Some days I would get my son up in the morning and some days it was easier to leave him in bed he just got himself in a whole cycle of doing nothing which is so hard to break if you dont have anything to get up for. I couldnt work out how to help him. My b/f has now moved into his own place and things are better between my son and I because I am not so on edge and there is no conflict here. My son does seem happier when b/f isnt around and thats probably because my b/f was a lodger, there was never any discussion with my son as to whether he was happy to have him living here and he must have felt like his opinion didnt matter. I do feel like I have been a rubbish mother but then again even tho my son is going thro a lazy stage he still has lots of good qualities just a shame b/f never bothers to mention them. and I have allowed my guilt over his father dying to cloud my judgement. I know now that I need to toughen up, he is now collecting unemployment and has agreed to give me money from that towards housekeeping. He is looking for a job and hopefully he will soon realise he cant live on unemployment benefit and have nice things, that will give him the motivation to take any job as at the moment he seems a but choosy about what job he takes (not that there are lots on offer!). In some strange way I feel as though its my fault and as though I havent been in control of my life and I want to ake back that control. I almost feel like my b/f was justified in his critisism of my son why I dont know, maybe at the moment Im just feeling so down and low that I thought b/f was right, he kept telling me I wasnt doing the right thing, I was being too soft, letting my son get away with everything and that he was lazy etc etc. He kept telling my son he wasnt helping me and he should be doing this should be doing that. I just got fed up with hearing it all the time even tho I knew he was right, it was like he was living in my house just telling me what I was doing wrong with no suggestion of how to right it. I do need to do a lot of soul searching. I probably need to get rid of my b/f as its draining all my energy, he knows how much it would mean to me for him to get divorced but because his wife wont sign the papers he now has to wait a few more months, but actually he could do it now, only he wont because he doesnt have the money at the moment. So I cant be that important to him. I know Im looking for advice and even so far as Im looking for someone to tell me the right thing to do, but I know in my heart I have to make that decision and I have to look into the future and its not going to be much of a future if b/f and son cant get on, and Ive probably been swayed a lot by b/f telling me he loves me so much and sending me lovely text messages to that effect, but really actions speak louder than words.

Much better news that the update I was expecting when I opened this. UTIs can be really bad and a bit tricky to doagnose in pets as well as people (young or old) with limited communication. Glad to know it's good news and she's doing better.