((Texanjana)). Hold your memories close they do provide comfort and even eventually smiles.

Losses like that close together can be overwhelming so no wonder you're feeling unable to make decisions. Wishing you peace through this process.

This is my first ever comment after being a lurker. Prayers to you, my mother and mother in law are dealing with issues. I am from England and my "mum" back home is having problems. We had lost a 16 year old cat to kidney disease. A week later we found a brother and sister at a rescue. Maybe a new rescued doggie may help.

Sending prayers for comfort and peace to you. Losing parents is terribly difficult. I felt untethered when my mother died unexpectedly. Every time I felt overcome with grief, I sent up a prayer for peace for her and for me. This honestly helped me.

I am so sorry, Texajana, that you have had these great losses at the same time. That is a great deal of grief to experience all at once. I too will pray for peace for you - and eventually, serenity - through these months. My mother died 23 years ago and I have never stopped missing her.

Some people don't understand how one can be in bereavement for an animal at the same moment as losing dear family members. But those of us who have been through it know that deep pain at the loss of a creature that is almost like a child to us. I picture our departed cats and dogs at the Rainbow Bridge, and yes, it helps.

My deep condolences to you -

Add my condolences to the others here. What has worked for me is to mentally give myself permission to take a break from grieving.

The reno will be stressful and I think your alert to the contractor was a good one. I did my kitchen when my DD was ill. I was talked into decisions that I would have ordinarily said no to.

I'm so sorry for your losses. One alone is very hard, but coming together like that can feel overwhelming and totally unfair. But know that with time, the waves of grief become softer and less frequent and easier to manage.

When I was in deep grief over losing my Mom, I found the meditation oasis podcast on grief (#26)https://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/) very helpful. Perhaps sitting with and giving yourself permission to feel your grief will help you get through it...it did help me a lot.

Sending you thoughts of comfort and strength in these tough times.

So many losses at once is very hard, but work is a great help. I agree - throw yourself into your remodel - the distraction will be very good for you.

You need to also remember that while it may be okay with you if this project goes very slowly, it most likely is NOT okay with your contractor! Time is money for him and he most likely has clients lined up for when he finishes your job. Slowing down your job due to your reluctance to make decisions could cost him other jobs or mess with their schedules (want it done by Thanksgiving or Christmas).

You have lost two elderly parents and an elderly pet. They all had long lives, and death is inevitable. You must grieve but go on living at the same time. You're very lucky to have this project at this time. Make use of it.

I am so sorry for your losses.

I'm so sorry.

I agree with others that perhaps when your reno and travel are done, you can look into getting another pup. It might be a lot to subject a new dog to construction chaos.

If you need help during the reno, you know you we are here.

I have no advice to give...just wanted to send a boatload of hugs and let you know you're in my thoughts!

Donna

I am so sorry. I hope each day gets just a bit easier, though it will take some time.

Jana, I am so sorry for you and DH. That is really a tough few months, I can imagine. My thoughts are with you both.

Texanjana, my heart goes out to you. I hope in the days to come you find a tremendous amount of comfort and strength/determination to keep you going. I know that your situation (given the normal progression of things) will come to us all, but I think it can be a terribly lonely time when you're in the midst of it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ditto what marti so wisely said. I'm so sorry for your losses.

I'm so sorry for your losses. The fog of grief is a very apt way to describe the incredible drain on your emotional and mental resources as you go through this tough time. Be patient with yourself. Remember grief takes time (and we all grieve in our own ways).

Sometimes it feels like life sends us more than we can bear. Just be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do to cope. Cry an ocean. We are never ready to say goodbye to our parents (or our pets). Hugs.

I'm so sorry for all the losses in your life so recently. It must be terribly hard on you all. I remember when DH and I lost both our mothers in the same year (June and November). It was very hard on both of us, but thankfully we were able to support each other in our grief. Not an easy road and my thoughts are with you.

I am sorry for your losses. I hope your memories bring you comfort. It does hurt at any age.

So very sorry for your losses. I hope you and your DH are taking good care of yourselves and each other during this very difficult time. I lost both parents last year within months and it is a lot to process. Take your time and trust your instincts.

Jana, I understand completely. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. My only advice is to be as kind to yourself as you can. XO

texanjana - (((hugs))) to you and your DH. You have really been hit hard emotionally, haven't you. Your MIL, your father and your dog are all so loved and have special places in your lives and in your hearts and I can only guess at your grief.

My thoughts are with you. If at anytime you feel overwhelmed with the renovations and need a sounding board you know where to come.

My condolences to you and your family.

So sorry for your losses. Each one is difficult enough but the multiple losses are the most difficult.

Everyone grieves at different rates too. It's difficult to try to accommodate one another but it really helps.

I do it slightly differently than Martin does it. I stop when the tears stand in my eyes and honour the loved one(s) with a good memory and an I love you. Then I rev up again and plow through the pain. Until the next wave hits...

Oh no, jana. I am very, very sorry that you are going through so much loss. I hope you can "feel" all the hugs being sent your way. Be sweet to yourself. Be patient with your grief.

I think modern life put way too much stress on us as far as pace. You're allowed to slow down a bit! I think it is good to keep involved in things that help you think about something other than your grief, but I also think, as others have said, that you need to give yourself some time to rest because grieving is exhausting.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I finally got a good night's sleep last night for the first time since my dad died. It is very true that grieving is exhausting on many levels, including physically. I am doing things I want to do and that bring me joy right now. DH and are going out to a movie tonight and then to a little gelato place that reminds us of our trip to Italy.

I will be on the other side of the forum soon with some tile selections asking for your expertise.

Thanks Again,

Jana