Feel free to add yours...

How much would you like to hear? I've had more than one neighbor come on my place and spray herbicide, without permission. And not only that...

Go for embo! ;)

Fortunately, where we live now, we have wonderful neighbors!

But in the previous house (we rented and lived there about 2 yrs) ......

Behind us lived a middle aged couple. There was a 6 ft privacy fence between our house & theirs. They left the blinds to what I suppose was the MBR up and open all the time. We had 3 dogs, 2 small & a lab. We always went outside with them while they did their business. Even at night. We would turn on the porch light that was pointed down and away from their windows, while we were out there. Usually less than 5 minutes.

One night I took the dogs out, stepped outside on the patio, and the man steps out with a spot light and shines towards me. Then he proceeds to shine it up and down the back of the house. On and off, on and off.

He yelled, "How do you like that?" He sounded drunk. I ignored him. Called the dogs and went in the house and turned off the light. Husband gets home, he takes the dogs out, doesn't turn on the light, same thing. This goes on for days.

Husband finally told him to knock it off or we'd leave the flood lights on all night. I think his wife must have heard him, because it stopped. But the guy was still an a$$. He'd throw trash & rocks over the fence. We never put the dogs out alone for fear he'd try to poison them,.

On a Saturday morning about 10 am, husband is mowing the yard. When he finishes about 20 mins later, the guy hollers, "IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU SHUT THAT D@MN THING OFF." Husband didn't say a word, and got the weed eater out.

We couldn't sit outside on the patio day or night because this wacko would shout out obscenities. And not just at us! He & his wife were just as belligerent to the rest of the neighbors too. I wouldn't allow my teenage daughter to go out in the back yard alone -- ever.

He was definitely touched in the head.

The neighbors on both sides of us were home owners, and had to deal with this nut all the time. Fortunately, we were only there temporarily. When we left, I wrote a letter to them telling them they needed serious psychological help.

Doubt if they got it.

I will add a +1 to the earlier comment that the OP should politely chat with the neighbors in question if they haven't already. Some people don't have a clue, others may care if you bring it up, and of course there's the other end of the bell curve where they don't give a crap. But you have to go through the process of being civil yourself in order to find out.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem it's going to happen.

Pudge, having neighbors that harass you sounds like the worst possible condition. Unable to live in peace due to those rejects. Horrible.

Honestly, I would probably call the cops on him every single time he did crap like that. If done enough he would start getting fines and eventually the problem "might" solve itself, but maybe not.

I have one neighbor that thinks his property is a junkyard. Last year I built an 8 foot fence so I cant see it. Best thing I ever did. Have called the cops on him a few times, he knows not to be stupid or Ill call. In the past he was trying to park is junk cars in my yard. Not happening.

At least he doesnt come out and randomly throw obscenities at me and my family.

Neighbors built their woodshed and chicken coop on what I believed was my property, but the exact line was unclear. When I mentioned it to the woman part of the couple, she went off on me about how "he" carefully checked the line and they weren't on my property. They also had been throwing yard waste into a wooded area that I also thought was my property; when I asked them to remove it, they did; I think they just thought I'd never notice and they knew it was a trespass.

I decided to pay for a survey, so I'd know for sure where the property line was. It was very costly, but confirmed their buildings were on my land. I wasn't sure how long they'd been there and was worried they'd try an adverse possession claim, but they didn't. I wrote them a letter and asked them to move both buildings and gave them a deadline. They moved them. Not using my land diminished their usable yard space by quite a bit.

Then one day I came home and they had pulled up all the survey stakes on our shared line!! They'd backed their pickup along the line and unloaded a load of gravel, also partially on my property. I was so angry that I called my contractor/handyman and asked how quickly he could build a fence. He showed up the next day with a crew and began erecting a field fence about 1" inside the line. - the stake holes were still visible. He asked what he should do about the pile of gravel. Told him I wasn't paying him to move it all onto their land, so build the fence through the middle of it. She came home mid-construction and went ballistic that "she (meaning me) always does these things (I think she was referring to the survey, as well) when I'm not home. Why didn't you (the contractor) come and tell me you were going to build a fence?" He replied that maybe she shouldn't have pulled the survey stakes, she wasn't paying for it, it wasn't on her property, why would she think she'd be notified? Apparently, she grabbed a shovel and started moving the gravel all onto her property, just flapping her gums at the crew the whole time. My contractor says his guys are still talking about her.

The fence fixed the trespass problems! Thank goodness!

Theres a third thing that can happen if you politely tell neighbors about a problem - they take it as a cue to be even MORE obnoxious/annoying.

Ex: can you be quieter coming home at 3 am and avoid slamming car doors literally 3 ft from our bedroom window (yes 3 ft - this is a very dense urban environment). So then instead of them parking there only sometimes it became a nightly occurrence. Heavy alcohol consumption may have been a factor..

It can be hard to approach neighbors sometimes, due to this phenomenon. It can be taking a risk that the situation may escalate because of it.

We had [sycho neighbors who burned so much incense/scented candles/plug ins/ whatever - many multiple things going at once 24/7 - that the air outside was saturated with this chemical stench and it would come in our house and I would get splitting headaches if I spent too much time outside when wind was blowing from their direction. Gotta wonder, what were they trying to cover up - meth cooking or what?

Our attempts to get them to stop or just moderate their behavior were useless - denied that there was any odor at all. Well duh. One thing I learned about these artificial fragrances is that they dont "neutralize" any odor or anything - they work by numbing people's sense of smell.

Thankfully they got booted out and now theres nice normal people living there. But dang if someone didnt move in on the OTHER side of me, and start up with some highly annoying chemical fragrance! It wasnt nearly as over the top, but still.... a significant problem.

Finally after a few days I went over there and pointed out that our windows & furnace intake were only 3 ft away, and when her response was "I dont smell anything" I just wanted to sit down and cry. But then -- unexpectedly - she went on to say that she didnt want to annoy anyone, and that she would be painting and using primer to get rid of old cig smoke so prob wouldnt be using stuff as much to cover up the smell.

I asked if she had been burning incense before she had started the scented candle and she said yes. I pointed out that the incense must have been made w natural oils, because it was so much more gentle, and I hadnt thought to complain about that, because I didnt much notice it. I asked if she could stick with that sort of thing and avoid the really strong sickenly sweet chemical stuff? Amazingly, she was totally agreeable to that!

So now, I occasionally smell some minor incense but it is simply no big deal. Its not the super- heavy artificial stuff (which are engineered to hang in the air longer, to be more intense) and it only goes on for a couple hours at a time.

So that time it worked out ... but not everyone you approach is going to have that same ability to negotiate a solution and distill what it is they want, and what things they can let go of.... some people see conflict purely in terms of winning vs losing, dominating vs getting dominated/walked all over. That applies to not only mentally ill people but so-called normal as well.

I've got one. The fence was paid by us. A storm caused neighbor's tree to fall and break fence. DH cut and cleaned the mess on BOTH sides of fence. Our hope in doing so was that broken fence was more obvious thus the subject of repair would come up. Damage is visible from street. Nothing. It's only been 2 weeks. Problem is we can't stand disrepair and neighbor knows it. We want to fix asap but fear that's exactly was neighbor is counting on--that we'll just take care if it so he doesn't have to do a thing. It is obvious their tree did the damage but I'm afraid if/when I approach it they'll say, act of God, not my problem, and leave it at that. BTW, the day we were clearing debris, the husband and the wife were coming home from work and SAW us out there. Neither came over to chat about tree. Meanwhile, a couple of further neighbors did. It was a big tree and significant fence damage.

you won't believe it but we are not on bad terms with this neighbor and have been on cordial terms for many years. But they never have cared about anything beyond their own fence, actually stuff in their yard can remain in disrepair for months. Not trashy or glaringly unattended but not to my pristine standards. The woman is on our HOA Board, ha.

Seems futile to talk about the tree but I don't want to not even try. Don't want to create tension on an otherwise peaceful relationship but don't want to be taken advantage of. Still pondering....

You need to do some research

IF the neighbor's tree was not known to be diseased or otherwise compromised prior to falling on your fence, the neighbor is not liable for the fence damage... you are. Call your homeowners and/or fix the fence yourself.

If you trespassed and cleared the fallen tree on your neighbor's lot, mighty neighborly of you.

Despite what you think, you can politely, reasonably discuss something with a neighbor and see no positive results. Not every neighbor is healthy mentally. I'm not interested in indulging further, but realize it is possible times are there nothing will stop bad behavior from neighbors, despite being polite. Venting means, no solution is sought, no help needed.

P.S. ignoring your typical dig, didn't mean: "Unfortunately, it doesn't seem it's going to happen.". It meant, I didn't indulge your snide assumption. It might have gone differently had I not had other interactions in the past, that had equally rude assumptions. For some reason, you take the adversarial position, and are sure I'm in the wrong, every single time. Never once been right. Even when I wasn't in the end. Not liking what my neighbor (the level two hoarder, and it spills into the yard) did, doesn't mean we don't get along.

@SaltiDawg, I'll be darned! I did do a little research and neighbor's tree damage to my fence is MY problem, unless I can prove negligence and it wasn't. Just very heavy wind toppling the tree. I guess they are not bad neighbors and maybe already know this is not their problem. Ha! Who knew. We will fix it and not say boo.

Bossyvossy you are right, but if your neighbor has any other tree that appears in danger of falling on your property (i.e., dying or leaning dangerously), you can ask them to please do something about it now BEFORE it falls because (as they can see) it is a real job to deal with. A conversation is not likely to have the force of law that a letter would, but it does shift the responsibility to the owner of the tree.

Fortunately there are no other perilous tree issues.

Rob333- I so understand your pain!!! We have unusual neighbors here and I think one may have a mental issue. I am polite, it's rough though!!!!

My neighbor sits on his deck and uses a BB gun to kill everything that crosses his yard. We had a yard full of big fat squirrels, rabbits and chipmunks until he cleared them all out recently. He does it periodically.

About 70% of the time he is a pretty nice guy. The rest of the time he is like a different person. He quit drinking and got a little nicer. He is a ardent right winger and he seeks to be confrontational . He is belligerent and seems to have a lot of unhappiness and insecurities that he is trying to ignore. He can be quite difficult.

He has a young adult son who is so obviously effeminate and he is in such denial about it. . I feel sorry for the kid. That is one mess that has to hit the fan someday.

Based on your post, I'm not sure who I would be the more concerned about, the neighbor that plinks off his porch with a BB gun or a neighbor that has the attitude about others that you have expressed. lol

Well, if they're in city limits it's entirely possible it's illegal to shoot that weapon. Where I live an air rifle is still considered a 'firearm'. I'd be rather concerned about a guy who enjoys periodically killing everything that moves just for sport, whether it was legal or not.

Anyway, I'm not sure what your problem is with gertiedaub's attitude. Her neighbor is belligerent and difficult. Sounds like an unfortunate situation.

Not to mention the "effeminate son" and his "ignoring insecurities... "

Thread topic = Bad neighbor VENT, not bad neighbor diplomacy, or "understanding your bad neighbor."

I have sometimes found it useful to vent or discharge strong emotion prior to engaging with a problematic person or situation. Either with a friend, or yelling choice words in the privacy of your car works too - clears my head so I can go engage in a clearer, hopefully more productive manner.

Well put.

clears my head so I can go engage in a clearer, hopefully more productive manner.

So well put that my update is that I cut her grass last weekend. Her son's been remiss in doing this for her, and it was getting tall. I know she can't do it. She did inform me it was a community group that cleaned up her yard. And now that I think about it, I didn't have my glasses on. My mind filled in the blanks with older and younger people as children and grandchildren. Her children do often help, so I can see how I got it wrong. Doesn't matter. We're still fine and friendly. She wanted to do something for me for cutting the grass (I just went over on my own, didn't even ask or tell her I was coming), and I said petting her yard kitty was payment enough.

My neighbor is really a loose cannon. A couple of weeks ago he went out and put a screw in the tire of the person who dared to park in "his" space in the cul de sac. He regularly taunts with political rants, hates anyone who speaks any other language than English, and is complete denial about the fact that his son has never been the rascally Huck Finn that he imagined he was. And, I will not even repeat what he said he would do to his son if he discovered that his son was homosexual. And, this he declared in front of an audience of neighbors! Just horrible. It has become some thing of a joke with the neighbors that we are waiting for him to make good on his threat to his son, knowing that he would never actually do that. According to him, everyone but him is an idiot. If you speak any other language, you are an idiot who does not even mow the lawn properly, as per him. If you put too much mulch on your tree or paint your hand rail on your porch, you are an idiot because he will find some perceived fault with it.

He is a real charmer! a real piece of work!

But, then next week he will be at my door with home grown squash and to let me know about the beautiful rainbow outside. His wife and son never come out of the house, except to get in the car, but he keeps a beautiful vegetable garden.

This is not a snap judgment. This is from being neighbors for at least 15 years.

Thank goodness for fences!!!! The other dozen or so neighbors on my street I have no friction with, whatsoever. We used to have neighborhood parties in the cul de sac. He would not even come out of his house if those "other" people were going to be there. He is suspicious of some of the neighbors and declared that he is "locked and loaded". He even called the FBI and "reported" that some of the neighbors were selling cars to ISIS in the middle of the night! Deluded much? He thinks that he is so very, very clever and that the FBI were so very grateful for this information!

One young couple actually moved away from the neighborhood when he developed an obsession with the young wife and said the most inappropriate things to her husband. They actually felt threatened by him and they were very uncomfortable.

We have managed a workable relationship with him, but only because we dont' encourage or confront him in his political taunts. I have no desire to argue with him, but that does not stop him from freely expressing his ignorant bumper sticker inspired opinions. You just can't argue with stupid, so I just compliment him on his garden, ask him how his boy is doing in college and make polite small talk. I try to avoid his confrontational volleys.

I have no anger at him. He is somewhat pathetic, really. He is sad and insecure of his place in the world. He went for years with his wife supporting him and seemed to not be able to hold a job.

Other than him, I enjoy living in our neighborhood and plan to stay here as long as I can.

I also have had my neighbor come over and spray chemicals on my lawn when I was away. He can't stand the thought that his domain ends at the fence line. I just let it go. He put herbicide on my weeds.

Absolutely incredible. However, toxcrusadr apparently finds her credible. lol

Saltdawg, I could not make this stuff up.

Oh boy, dallasannie. I don't know if my neighbor leans in the same direction as yours but I too have a story. Where to start?? Shortly after moving into my beautiful new home, 10 years ago, my bad neighbor's way of introducing herself was to complain about a an overgrown shrub I had removed from my front door. My door. I didn't even get her name during this first meeting.

After that it was all about my cat chasing away the feral cats she feeds. I tried to be a good neighbor and kept my cat indoors as much as possible but things took a turn after a Noreaster toppled her 25' topiary pine tree in her front yard right into my driveway.

It leaned more than 45degrees and looked like a giant green bowling ball sitting halfway into my driveway. I asked her if it can be prune so I can use my driveway. I even offered to pay, thinking she's older and might be living on a budget. She told me it would be best to just park on the street because her tree is so beautiful. I told her this ask is unreasonable. I was polite and even gave her another a month before I approached her again about the tree. She waved me off again and refused to talk to my gardener and I when we approached her before her tree was shaped so I can use my driveway. This was 10 years ago.

Since then she stopped talking to me. Her first passive aggressive response was to redirect waste water from her downspout to my side garden. The extra water drowned my plants and rotted the fence posts. I replaced the posts.

For the last three years, her grandson reaches way over the fence to hack at my trees. I tried to talk to her but I get the wave. I tried to talk to the grandson. His only reply is I killed their tree. Seriously?? BTW it didn't die but was no longer a ball so they cut it down.

I know they have a right to trim my trees if it overhangs into their property but their reason is obviously a petty one. It takes some effort to reach the trees from the fence line. To hack them several times during each summer is also unnecessary. And yes, it's always done when I'm not home. The only way I know my trees were attacked is by the fallen branches in the planting bed.

I'm not the only one on the block who has problems with her but I am the only one who shares a fence with her. We now all have a raccoon and rodent problem because of the feral cat feeding. Our town doesn't have laws about feeding "wildlife".

I wish the real estate market was better so I can afford to move. It's so tiring living next to a nasty neighbor. Thanks for letting me vent

Hello SaltiDawg. Yes, I am aware its my responsibility. I guess I wasn't so clear...after the tree toppled, she said she will have someone look at her tree because she did NOT want ME to touch it. My offer was to pay the person she said will look at her tree. I don't believe anyone came to look. After two tries to talk, it was obvious that the tree was a sensitive subject. That is why I knocked on her door with my gardener, thinking she might want to have a say in the reshaping.

Yes again to your fence question. They are reaching over the fence to lop branches from my property. The cuts are not "at" fence line. My trees are fastigiated and at its fullest are 2ft away the fence. It is my belief--based on what the grandson once said to me--that they are trying to kill my trees because of the necessary cuts on their tree all those years ago. Its very petty. I feel like my only hope is that they will just tire of this weird game

They had no say as to removing the felled tree that remained on your property. That was entirely your financial and work responsibility.

They can not reach over the fence at the property line to prune branches on your side of the fence - that is trespassing.

I'd be setting up some security cams and tell them next time you get them on camera trespassing and cutting your trees, you're going to consider legal action. Sad situation. You can get a 4-camera and DVR setup for under $200 these days.

Albie Jasper, any part of your neighbor's tree leaning over into your property could have been legally removed by you. You were maybe too nice!

I had to look up 'Fastigiated'. I learn new stuff here every day.

If your home has fenestration, all you had to do was look.

(What is scary to me is that my spell checker recognized "fenestration," suggesting I have used it before. It also recognizes defenestration.)

Not a bad neighbor vent, but a stupid one.

Our neighborhood consists of 2+ acre lots, mostly are wooded. I looked out the back yard one day and saw our next door neighbor, standing on a chair in the bed of his pick up trimming one of his trees with a SKILL SAW. He must have had 5 or 6 extension cords running to the house-- across a yard where he was running the sprinklers.

I had to go inside-- I was afraid to watch.

This is the same neighbor that when he took down his soft sided swimming pool at the end of the season, just somehow collapsed the walls and let the water go. I was out in our front yard when I caught a strong scent of chlorine. Took me a minute to figure out what was going on. ALL that water rolled across our front yard, down the ditch and eventually into the creek. I was beyond angry.

When they put the pool up the next year, I found a way to ask them "nicely" to make sure when they drained it to route it out the back and NOT to have added chemicals for awhile before hand. He looked at me funny. I told them how the water went across our yard and traveled on...... He said, "OH. I never thought about that."

I said, "you mean where the water went? You live at the top of an incline. Where did you think it was going to end up?"

"I thought it just soaked into our yard."

Talk about clueless!!

But the ABSOLUTE WORSE thing they did ---

They had a little dog that barked all the time. He was an escape artist, not a bad dog, just a rambunctious fellow. For the most part, he was an inside dog.

One hot summer day, we heard him barking incessantly, all afternoon. Then after awhile, we realized he'd stopped barking. We figured he must have gone inside.

Nope. The man had chained the dog up to the swing set, while they went somewhere for most of the day. Come to find out, he's stopped barking because he'd died of heat stroke. The poor pup wasn't used to being left outside.
We heard one of the kids shrieking and we went outside to see what was wrong. The man (dad) was yelling at the rest of the kids "GET BACK INSIDE." so they wouldn't see this poor dead dog.

OMG husband & I were BOTH livid!!! Another neighbor came running over when he heard the commotion and when he found out what had happened, he read the riot act to that idiot.

They moved about 3 months after that.... the whole neighborhood breathed a big sigh of relief.

Yesterday my awful neighbor said, “you look amazing you must have had a facelift”.....please oh please just stay away from me is my wish!

Summers- We are new to country living as well as find that neighbors are much different.

Not sure he means ill, but if I was to strike a deal I would let him use the building occassionally but he would have to turn over the lift permanently if it was to be installed in there. Unless it was one of those portable lifts. And only if you are comfortable with it. You should be able to tell if he is trying to take advantage of you or genuine. Having a car lift has its advantages. If you arent into auto repair (yet) perhaps you will once you get a huge bill for your truck in the future.

Making him turn over the lift permanently would show the true colors if he really cared about your interests and wanting to be a "good neighbor." I mean if he wants to use your building he has to contribute.

Sabbath7, glad to hear you're new too. I hope you don't have any strange neighbors like mine trying to take over your garage.. Lol So far I feel that a few local people we hired can't be trusted. They all sounded very nice though. We hired the same snow plowing guy the previous owner used (she was out of town) , the same renters we have now have been there for the past 2 years. We installed security cameras on the property after we moved in, so we could keep eyes on the property. We noticed the snow plowing guy has been plowing when there wasn't a lot of snow on the ground last month, so we received a big plowing bill. He charges per plowing, not by the season. And the local house inspector we hired he wanted to be our property manager which we didn't need, he was very friendly at first, but later on when we asked him for some info about local businesses, he never returned our calls. Oh well, we're learning. I think keeping some distance is a good idea. What do you think from your country living experience? :-)

Vith, thanks for your reply. I will send him to your garage. :-) We don't know him well, talked to him 4 times since we moved in. The most important there is a liability issue. So that's a firm no.

Summers- some of the people that we have hired have not worked out. Some billed us for work never done, others never showed up. Our neighbors are strange....so many stories in the last five years. I get tired of all the stray cats that wonder up. The neighbors by far are the most challenging part.

Oh sabbath7, thanks for letting me know. My goodness, can't trust anyone. That's pretty sad. Good luck to both of us finding a path on our country living journey. I am only part time in the country, so that makes me a slow learner. lol

"It looks like a Christmas house all year around."

Doesn't sound very neighborly at all! Seems you think all of your neighbors have "problems," and you're fine.

Why Salt? It’s really dark out there, and all the neighbors are far away. I need more lights. I only talked to 1 neighbor so far, don’t know others yet. I don’t think my neighbors have problems, I don’t know them, haven’t talked to them yet.. I finally have room to grow fruit trees and more roses. I am very happy! :-) Spring orders are coming soon! Fruit trees and roses!! :-)

Oh sorry to hear that. We only said hello to one neighbor so far, should hold back a little to meet others........

Salt, I don’t get your point. We only met one neighbor so far. And I only said he was strange, I didn’t say he had problems at all. Where did you get that all my neighbors had problems? I haven’t met them yet.

Most of neighbors have a huge light on a tall pole. I went with solar lights for the patios and decks it’s just easier and faster to have some extra lights. What’s wrong with that? They are clear lights, not red or green. I like the look, pretty cheerful. People have strings lights on their patios and decks all year round, I am not the first one for doing that.

I think it's way too soon to ask someone if you can borrow their garage, when you just met them. There are a dozen reasons it may not be a good idea, but you don't know if any of them are a problem until you know the person. An intelligent person would recognize that and not ask. He may be a fine fellow, but only time will tell. He's started out in the hole though by asking for something he shouldn't have. :-\

Toxcrusadr, thank you very much for understanding.

I've lived in the country, lots of my large extended family lives in the country, I have friends who live in the country. I've never heard of a neighbor asking a new neighbor who just moved in something like that. Your new neighbor was out of line. You don't owe him any explanation or reason why you don't want him using your garage.

I loved living in the country and I loved my country neighbors. I had a few very strange neighbors but most of them were great. Good luck in your new home.

Thank you Daisy. I love the country! Can’t wait for the weekend to get down there. I am ready to prune the fruit trees for the 1st time if this weekend is not too wet. I love to grow roses to save a few rare ones from disappearing in this country and Canada, that’s my passion, I am a rose keeper. Growing fruit trees is a new thing for me, didn’t dare to think about it since I had no room at the suburb location.

I will take it slow to meet other neighbors. I hope there are some wonderful gardeners there.