My daughter outed me!!!
Jody
6 years ago
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Sammy
6 years agoRelated Discussions
Yikes, please help me out with the teenager thing: DAUGHTER!
Comments (10)I feel your frustration...and sadness. Always a well behaved kid, my DD is VERY well liked by kids as well as teachers and family members. She's friendly, outgoing, and kind. ... Elsewhere..... At home she is a chameleon. She'll be 'my daughter' for anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks. Then suddenly, she's sullen, easily angered, private and a stranger, for a few days. I worry about her constantly. Then I talk to people I work with and they assure me that they've all gone through the same things with their daughters. It's all 'normal'. They're creating the necessary distance they need to grow up. My DD started the pushing away phase this year. It was SO hard....on me! It's sad, but once you get past the hurt feelings (as unrealistic as they are) you'll be okay. Kids have to do this...and you just need to be there WHEN THEY NEED YOU...not when you need them. Just be there. The one area I still regulate with an iron fist is the computer. She has access to everything she needs/wants, but I don't allow visiting friends blogs (too obscene as anyone can post on them) and I don't allow AIM/Messenger/chatting. It's too easy for kids to get carried away when chatting online, and for things to be said that normally wouldn't be. Feelings get hurt, clashes occur, cliques form, etc....being a teen is hard enough...they don't need that extra source of stress. When I feel she's mature enough, then I'll allow these things. She has to prove to me that she's ready. Be patient... Understand it's not personal... Give them space... Although I don't care for some of the language in it, there is a good book called "Get out of my life!...but first can you take Cheryl and I to the mall?" This book is great....I had many "Aha!" moments while reading it. Good luck......See MoreMy 18 year old daughter is barely speaking to me
Comments (7)Are you a very young mom? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but there are a lot of things in your post that sound very immature--the Christmas present thing, calling people names--those are not the way adults handle problems. I think, before you start to work on your relationship with your daughter, it might be a good idea to work on your own level of responsibility and caring. Now, I realize, that if you are in such dire financial straits, that you've had to give up your home and parcel out the family among other family's homes, you've probably got a LOT of issues (aside from your relationship with your daughter) to deal with. And maybe you're just a bit overwhelmed at this point. But your daughter is still a child, even though the government says she's old enough to vote. She still needs you. You still need to parent her. Yes, it's a whold lot more difficult to parent a 'legal' child--that doesn't mean it isn't essential, though. And the situation is only compounded when the parents aren't together and on the same page regarding how to parent. But for your daughter's sake, you simply have to put those things aside and do the right thing for her. She's being a typical 18 year old. None of them really want much to do with their parents--that doesn't tear up your parent card, though, it just means you have to work a little harder and more creatively to do the job you signed on for 18 years ago. Honestly--if you hang in there, and get across to your daughter that you're still her mother, still love her, still will be there for her, she will almost surely come around in a few years. My dd was dying to get away from us (and went to college about 1000 miles away to prove it) at that age. BUT 10 years later? she's annoyed with us because we're moving 30 miles away, she calls me at least once a day just to chat, we get together for dinner or lunch or just to visit at least a couple of times a week. Sometime between age 22 and 25, they really do turn back into normal human beings, so don't burn any bridges that you won't be able to rebuild when the time is right....See MoreWe got my daughter moved out.....
Comments (5)Ceph, Yes that was my daughter. We have heard nothing from him for quite a while now. I still remind her that she needs to be diligent about being watchful. I know that it is quite soon after that situation for her to move out but it all fell into place quickly. I am feeling pretty good about the fact that no one has seen or heard from him but I think I will always have it in my mind and look for him form time to time....See Moremy bf has a 13 year old daughter who is really upsetting me
Comments (21)Went through the same thing with my DH daugther. but she was 6 or 7ish at the time. Its understandable. She feels now she is competeing with you and is expressing it like a 13 year old. Dont let it bother you. Always keep open communication with her and your bf. Dotn think too far like having kids now. Keep dating and live together , take it one day at a time. More important. You and your Bf have to be on the same page and stick to your relationship. His daughter does not dictate your time or how you date your bf. You are the adult.You are in control with your BF. Let him speak to his daughter, let him keep at it with her. You keep your cool and at her age, the teen years she is also going through alot of emotions. Give her space and give her time. If she acts out during vacation let her father deal with it. Dont let it get you down. When she acts like a baby, then leave her with her dad to deal with and you get out and enjoy yourself. You make sure you show her that her behaviour is not nice and that it wont get your down. She wants to behalf nasty then she will have to deal with the consequences. My SD doesn have text messaging and i wouldn't accept it either between me and her. Just gives her power and i do not let her have any since now adays she is being rude. She's a teen:) Thats how they are. Deosnt matter if they are biokids or stepkids or adopted kids...its the age! But it doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Stand your ground and you keep telling her how you feel. BUT if she gets a rise out of you being hurt then you ignore her tactics and say its a wonderful day and your are soooo happy. :) There will be many games , and many ups and downs..i'm sure she does like you . She just needs to adjust and really understand that she doesn't have to be threatened by you. This is what it is. She feels that now that her dad has someone, he wont be as close with her even though the times of seeing her haven't changed. Over time you will prove yourself with your actions and words. Be friends but if she resists..don't force it. you can only be friends with her...not her mother. So if she doesn't want to be friends with you..its ok. I told my SD...if she doesn't want to be friends that's fine with me. I have alot of friends. But you be respectful towards antoher human being..if not..the door is there. Swing both ways..I dont care who you are related to....See MoreJody
6 years agoJody
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agotweetybaby2005 (KS 6b)
6 years agoJody
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6 years ago
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