Sorry my post went in twice..Houzz must be having problems

I agree. Outside said it perfectly. Years ago, it would not have occurred to your son to step in, befriend the child and tell you. With bullying being in the forefront of social media, the children nowadays are more aware of the problem.

I can't agree more that you talk to the aunt and to the school. I am disappointed in te bus driver as well. In a perfect world, all school buses would have a monitor to keep an eye on the children while the driver drives. A ride to school should not be a free for all for bullying and abuse.

Outside.......I have dealt with this sort of bullying on a personal level..some of you know I have a ill 20 yo daughter..one aspect of her illness causes a birth mark type staining...Amiee was born with this form of birthmark...it ranges from a heavy pink to a blackish purple color depending on her circulation...this birthmark covers her lower back, her buttocks, her pelvic area, 90% of left leg and feet including bottoms, 70% of right leg and feet. When Amiee started school because of all the medical needs involved I had face to face meetings with everyone involved with her in the school system and I did this yearly...the first day of school each year Amiee and I did a question and answer for the entire school in the auditorium..we explained Amiees **condition** and how no one can catch it...The outcome of this....Amiee never once was bullied...not once. BUT the outside world is a different story, no matter where we go if Amiees in shorts or clam diggers people are sure to point, laugh, call names, what's worse is its the adults doing it...children just ask what's wrong which is completely understandable...I was once ask by a school nurse in front of Amiee, Kindergarden..if I could wearpants on her daily so her legs wwouldn't be a issue in school...I took a deep breath and said...its people with your attitude that will try to make my daughter feel ashamed if herself..I won't..if its warm weather and she wants shorts she will wear them...the principal applauded me..he stood up and clapped.

Today .....Amiee is well adjusted, feels no shame, which she shouldn't, and is proud to be wearing all the Angel kisses...so ya I understand from a parents view how my child would feel if bullied...I'm putting a stop it it.

Good for you!

Butting in? No way. You're in the right. It's going to take EVERYONE to smother bullying. I'm glad he chose to sit with him on his own. That takes character.

I hit it from the other side with my son. He was bullied mercilessly in elementary school. I told him the bully was undoubtedly being bullied by someone else, and likely someone much bigger than he was, so he was just being scared and acting out. I told him to be his friend, be on his side unlike everyone else, and it worked out. Turns out, he was being bullied. His bigger brother was picking on him, and he came from a home where his father was incarcerated. Tough life! It was no wonder he acted out. I don't know that befriending a bully would've worked had they been in high school, but if your child is nine, there's still a chance it could work. I'll assume the other kids are in the same range. He'd have to also befriend the main instigator. I assume the rest are just piling on.

mamapinky why people feel the need to be so mean spirited towards anyone who doesn't fit their idea of what people should look like has always been a sore spot for me. I think you are the perfect advocate for that young boy, I sure hope those involved will be positively responsive to your intervention.

Mamapinky, I had no idea about your daughter, but lukkiirsh is spot on, you are the perfect advocate. You've essentially 'been there, done that' and have all the cred needed to speak on behalf of that young boy.

Wow, what a 9-year old you have. How proud you must be. Be sure he reports back to you any further issues. You'd be wrong NOT to speak up. I'd go directly to the principal. S/he needs to speak to the teachers who should address this issue with students. Bullies pick on others to make themselves feel better.

Absolutely bring this to the attention of the school. And follow up. Because it is affecting your boys, insist on being told what step are/have been taken to address the situation. Also, continue to ask the boys if the bullying is still going on. If the trouble continues go back to the school again and again. While it may be inconvenient and the school may not want to hear about the trouble, you need to be the advocate for all 3 of these children. If your boys felt the need to take action, it is causing emotional stress for all involved.

I agree, tell!

I read of an inner city school where mothers became recess, lunchroom and hall monitors and classroom helpers. The bullying and drug problems and in class inattention went away. Perhaps a pair of fathers and or mothers could ride the buses in the morning and after school. Positive adult attention does help... I know your sons' bus mate would appreciate it. :)

Yes, talk to the school and his aunt so they can put a stop to it. A second grader cannot defend himself against a group of bullies, he needs help. Congrats on your 9 year old, what he is doing takes a lot of character and inner strength.

Perhaps you would consider putting your notice/report/request for action about this into writing? A factual report in a written letter to the principal will help raise the priority, because it establishes written evidence that the school was made aware of the constant bullying. I would advise you to raise the priority a little higher by also sending a copy of the letter to the district Superintendent. (I would give a copy to the Aunt too.) I suggest this from personal experience.

Some kids have brutal moments to face. Someone with an immediately visible facial mark is unfortunately going to have to deal with reactions from others for his entire life. Further, the fact that this kid is being raised by an aunt and not his biological parents suggests that he's already been through some familial dysfunction and problem times to boot. A loving home is important, hopefully he has that, but the fact he's not with his parents could also single him out for ridicule. Poor kid.

I'd speak up but then leave it to the adults responsible for monitoring the conduct of these kids.

Mama, you know better and you know you will not 'mind your own business; ;0)

This child needs an advocate to get the ball rolling in his favor and who better to do it than you with what you've learned and experienced. I agree the Aunt needs to know, the school needs to know. All 50 states in this country have school anti-bullying legislation in place, the school has to take steps to resolve it once they are aware.

I wonder why the bus driver hasn't received some training in how best to intervene.

The school bus driver does not have time to be a bully monitor. He/she shouldn't be expected to be able to safely drive a bus and monitor behavior. What's really needed on school busses is a monitor, someone who makes sure there is no bullying. To the original question, I would say something.

The school bus driver is probably just trying to safely drive the bus. I think the matter should be taken to the aunt. Let her decide how she wants to proceed.

In this state, school bus drivers are required to monitor possible abuses, harassment, even to report suspected neglect at home before the child enters the bus. They are required to report and document bullying and bad behaviors.

I say "don't mind your own business"...if that were my kid being picked on, I sure would appreciate someone caring enough to get involved. I think it is amazing your grandson is stepping up to be there for this kid. I think I would let his Aunt know what's going, let her know your g-son is going to try to help him out on the bus. I think it would be up to her ( the aunt) maybe to let the bus driver know so they "keep an eye" to make sure the bullying doesn't get out of hand.

I think you have every right to get involved. Someone my daughter knew on social media, threatened suicide. I called the school. Some parents told me to mind my business. That is my business. I never want to be the person who says I knew and I did nothing. Turned out it was only to get attention, but I don't regret calling the school.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this but kids that are being bullied also have to be taught how to stand up for themselves. Especially if they have something others feel the need to make fun of them for. It's sad but you will never completely eliminate bullying. People can be very mean. Kid's have to learn coping skills.

*Edited* How fantastic that your 9 year old is sitting with him. What a strong character he has. It takes a lot to stand up for the kid being bullied.

I would go directly to the principal with this one. My daughter witnessed something similar in elementary school and was able to bring it to the teachers attention (it was happening at recess) and she handled it beautifully with a class round table meeting about bullying. No one had any idea who brought this to the teachers attention. I had emailed her. The bullied students parent eventually thanked me so I know they must have told her about it. She had no idea this was happening, All involved were sent to the principal as well. I would either email or visit the principal directly. Give him/her a chance to fix this situation and go further if need be. From a discipline standpoint this needs to happen. As for the bus-another option you could do as well, is to call the school transportation service dept and fill them in too so they can speak to the driver. They may assign seats or put the bullies on probation.

Also, Mama, it's disturbing to your son, and you don't want that, no mother does. You will set an example for him by reporting it.

I agree with socks. By reporting it you are showing that you respect your sons behaviour and decision, and that you have empathy and support for the child who is being bullied. Great traits to be modelling for your children.

If no one tells it will never change. Go to the school and the Aunt tell what happen.

I Thank all of you for your kind words and your great advice...this is what happened...I called the school and requested a meeting with the principal and guidance counselor.. I was given a 1...Oclock appt...I briefly explained to the sec. However when I arrived I found out my 9yo Tim was already in to talk to the counselor and told her what he has seen with this boy being bullied..I was shocked Tim did this..Tim is a very very shy boy.. (I'm so proud) anyway the principal did get the driver on a phone conference call with us...she said she had no idea this was happening...next the video on the bus was watched..I was not allowed to watch it but there were 8 kids bullying this boy...they only watched one video and said that's all they needed to see. These boys are out of little league for the first month...the single girl involved is out of the swim meet for a month. They all must write a report about what they have learned this school year in regards to bullying as all children in this school have a 20 minute class once a week about bullying... I went to the Aunt afterwards...she screamed at me and ask what $^&(/#₩~ business this was of mine...she had a beer can in one hand and with the other she slammed the door. OMG....I have some work to do...this lady apparently has no idea I worked for Children and Youth Services for 8 years. I suppose there's no law against a beer, but talking to another neighbor of hers I'm told she drinks all day every day..drives this child around with a DUI ...no I don't know if this is true, but Childrens services can find out..I made the call.

I hope these kids learn something from this and I hope this poor child is safe.

As for Tim...the school told him he's a silent hero because no one will know he helped this child by talking to the school counselor..he is being given a special certificate stating he is the HERO of the year and he's being given the private use of the schools indoor pool for him his brother and the family for 3 hours of private swim time.

Bus ride on the way home from school today...HAHA...Tim sat with Alex, the hopefully X bullied child...one of the bullies said..hey Tim wanna play football in your grandmas field this weekend? Tim said sure, but I have to get grandmas permission first...hey Tim can we come too......and so it went with Alex laughing and saying he will bring his extra helmet...not one child mentioned the bullying, no one knows Tims involvement not even Alex...guess I better make pizza if I'm expecting a football team Saturday.

I feel sorry for the kid. For whatever reasons he's estranged from his own family, he doesn't seem to have landed in the right spot yet, being with such a trashy aunt.

Way to go Mama....give this child any support you can offer.

Kudos to you for teaching Tim the right thing to do and to Tim for doing the right thing.

Aww Thank you all much.

So I ask Tim when the bully and other bullies ask to play football with you why did you say sure....he said grandma if they are having fun with Alex and me they won't want to be a bully again.

Don't get me wrong I'm not against these kids comming here to play I just wanted to know Tims reasoning. Hope I don't regret this, because I'm wondering why all of a sudden they want to play football with Tim..I suppose they just heard Tim and Alex talking about it and wanted to join in the fun....no teasing to and from school today...one of the bullys offered Alex a unopened poptart.

I'm so glad you spoke up! And Tim as well.

The poor boy, like Elmer, I feel for this poor child.

So he said what I think-befriend the bully. He's NOT wrong. At this age, it's time enough to help them.

At least, it's the kind way. The non-selfish way. It requires looking father. Outside of self

Great outcome, at least from the kids point of view. Your son is awesome!

Its really sad the boy is in such a terrible living situation. I hope that will be remedied sooner rather than later. He is lucky to have caring people around him.

You must be bursting with pride at that wonderful boy of yours. :) What a kid! 7 and 8-year-olds are still easily swayed so thank goodness these boys were lucky to have some intervention. And how great that the school actually did the right things. Keep a close eye on the group when they're together playing football but it sounds like lessons have been learned. I wonder if you might be seeing more of the poor boy with the difficult home life who may find himself wanting to spend time with a stable family (yours).

Nice to see a happy ending. And many many adults could learn a lesson from that young man. GET INVOLVED! This I don't want to get involved attitude needs to stop. I hope things work out for the poor kid with the problem aunt too.

Seeing as you're not one of the aunt's favorite people, I hope she will allow Alex to come to your house. What you and Tim did is wonderful and I do hope his life continues to improve.