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kittymoonbeam

Are people becoming self important?

9 years ago

Reading comments online elsewhere I keep feeling like people are me first more and more. Less likely to commit to relationships and not being empathetic. The focus is on image, stuff, comparing yourself to others. And so many seem to have short tempers. The language is vulgar and men and women think of other people as objects to be used . I come here and think the world is good. People are kind, helpful, moral.

Look at the news or turn on the radio or read online comments elsewhere and feel saddened by people openly embracing vice instead of virtue. Kids start out so kind.

Please tell me that's not where the human race is headed.

Comments (33)

  • 9 years ago

    Social media does tend to bring out the narcissists. It's easy to be a keyboard warrior when you aren't face to face with people. If you lurk on the more combative sites you see the same posters over and over. Anxiety driven, full of anger and want a place to be heard and feel worthy for at least a short while the attention they gain with their rants.

    Sites like Facebook encourage people to share every moment of their day, what they ate, where they went and attention seeking posts like "I am so sad, boo-hoo, but I don't want to talk about it. LOL

    Also we have a whole generation now who spent most of their years in a classroom with longer hours and less social time. Our school system doesn't follow child developmental guidelines. Teachers' hands are tied. More time sitting still and less time relating to others from Pre K on and sometimes even sooner. It's very sad. Add technology into the mix and many people never learned how to talk to one another.

    kittymoonbeam thanked wildchild2x2
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  • 9 years ago

    No Virginia, the World will not become a morass of vulgarity and violence. Someday, in the near future, that shall burn itself out and pass away. But until then, it is the responsibility of the good people to be patient and continue to exert a positive influence. That job is a tough one; One that is not appreciated and scoffed upon. Take heart and continue to endure for if the good does not survive, neither will mankind.

    kittymoonbeam thanked jemdandy
  • 9 years ago

    I think that if you read historical descriptions, in the past many people were self centered, covetous, vulgar. Many others were kind and just. I do not think that there has been a fundamental change in humanity.

    I do think that the internet and social media makes both positive and negative behavior more immediate, so it may be that while human nature still has its ups and downs, stories of the downs tend to be circulated more.

    kittymoonbeam thanked lucillle
  • 9 years ago

    Sounds like YES Virginia it has BUT don't let it beat us!!

    I do not know if hearts have changed but I know we have become "accepting" of all behaviors. The 'don't judge me' battle cry has allowed a lot of people to express a lot of negative, selfish desires that were best kept private IMHO!!!

    kittymoonbeam thanked arcy_gw
  • 9 years ago

    I think some people have always been what you describe. With technology they now have many outlets. We have 24/7 news, which 'back in the day', we wouldn't have heard about until tomorrow's newspaper or next week's People magazine. The media doesn't have to worry about column inches, so they can report every Kardashian utterance. Individuals seem to think that others care about every detail. Those people were always there, they just didn't have an outlet.


    kittymoonbeam thanked aok27502
  • 9 years ago

    Watchmeloi, I totally disagree with this paragraph of yours. Do you use Facebook at all/ever? I would bet that you don't because you don't appear to know the full scope of what Facebook is.

    "Sites like Facebook encourage people to share every moment of their day, what they ate, where they went and attention seeking posts like "I am so sad, boo-hoo, but I don't want to talk about it. LOL"

    kittymoonbeam thanked Jmc101
  • 9 years ago

    There are definitely people on Facebook who post every little, inconsequential, boring aspect of their day. "I'm tired, so I'm going to bed." What, just go, I don't care! It was her own post, not a comment on a thread. Geesh.

    Talk about self-centered, another user has nothing, nothing but selfies. Not a comment, not a photo of anything but herself.

    I really get tired of people posting photos of their pregnancies (naked belly out for the world to see), bikini pics with rolls all over (just to combat the body-shamers) etc etc. just selfies in general.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Jasdip
  • 9 years ago

    Tell me it's not where it's heading? It's been there since the beginning of social media. People have been hiding behind fake names, and often their real names, and because they know they'll never meet you face-to-face, let loose with every ugly thought that's in their head knowing there will be little to no repercussion.

    kittymoonbeam thanked User
  • 9 years ago

    I guess my "shock" is .... women in their 50's getting caught up in this narcissism. The traditional role was to gloat/dote on grand babies. Or, go back to college, learn a new skill...maybe do Yoga. Now....it's selfies and bragging about themselves and how good they look. Have a new neighbor, age 52, that keeps saying she's a "bad ass", a mensa member. She snaps selfies and landscape pics on her phone and thinks her "friends" are impressed. She says they impress easily. :0) Really?! She acts like she has an online fan club.

    But I agree. There have always been people that were doing well....better than average and strutted around....in their time period.

    kittymoonbeam thanked User
  • 9 years ago

    Hopefully, the obnoxious folks online do not behave that way in real life! Ugh.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elizabeth
  • 9 years ago

    JMC- Write something here. Feeling/activity. Check in. Duh.
    Many people take those "suggestions" literally it would seem.

    Of course I use FB or I wouldn't comment about it.

    Do you use Facebook?

    kittymoonbeam thanked wildchild2x2
  • 9 years ago

    I agree with watchme regarding facebook. I rarely use it anymore, I am so sick of the bragging and selfies. I take a selfie once a year, on my birthday, to update my profile pic. Every year it gets more and more shocking when that camera face turns my way.

    kittymoonbeam thanked sleeperblues
  • 9 years ago

    To answer your question yes. I think people that think this isn't true are in denial. Yes there have always been selfish jerks but I think that is increasing in record numbers. Growing up you always heard you gotta take care of yourself. It's all about "ME" these days. There are so many things going on in the world to explain this but I'd be here forever lol But maybe this will help. :)

    kittymoonbeam thanked Hareball
  • 9 years ago

    I think people give too much importance to those they read about on Facebook or instagram. That sets up a scenario of FOMO (fear of missing out). You see a selphie of a friend sitting at a bar with drink in hand and laughing with a friend. What you don't know is that she was yelled at by a client 2 hours ago and lost the account.

    You see the A side of their life but never the B side. The whole thing is a false narrative of life and I suspect that sometimes it makes some people feel stupid and useless because their own life isn't that exciting.

    What I hate is when I ask people how they are and I get - "I'm so busy, just so busy" and I just think well then I won't ask if you're free for a cup of coffee. I often suspect that they are but I'm not asking.

    The other problem with facebook, texting, etc is that you lose the facial emotional connection, the voice inflections, the warmth of being with another person. Emoji's just don't cut it.

    OT I don't have a cell phone. A friend of mine has been really sick for the last 2 1/2 weeks. I phone her to see how she is doing and she phones me to say hi. A mutual friend was complaining about how she hadn't spoken to our sick friend for a couple of weeks because she only had the time to text. Really? Talk about self-importance.

    kittymoonbeam thanked blfenton
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I don't think people are necessarily any more self-absorbed than has been true in the past. The internet and modern communications media gives those so inclined a broadband platform that can be overused and that allows the audience to easily identify such types. My wife knows some Facebook addicts and we joke by saying things like "Hey, what did Ann have for lunch yesterday?" I don't think people know just how ridiculous (and sad) they are with their public prancing and preening. The message and conclusions recipients receive with such displays are very different from what the senders think they are.

    People who are busy being busy, or busy with make-work, always lead me to think some insecurity is involved. As if they were saying "if I don't have something I think I need to do, or if I haven't arranged something I can say requires my time, I'm not sure where that would leave me". Things people choose to do are just that, choices. Choices can be changed, they don't create an insurmountable or inescapable burden.

    Popular culture hasn't veered toward higher levels, but many people are attracted to it all the same and we have ourselves to blame for that.

    The "good old days" weren't nearly as good as people recall and many look back with melancholy without thinking of all the problems our society had in the past. Complaints about vulgarity, and lack of propriety and godliness? With all due respect, these not expectations that are necessarily widely shared. Cultural practices and expectations change over time and thank goodness for that.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    Hopefully, the obnoxious folks online do not behave that way in real life!

    Real, live people are posting that stuff online, so yes that is how they are behaving "in real life". Why do people think that how someone behaves online is not how that person thinks in "real life"? It is that you might have not seen that side of them off the internet. Granted, it is easier to misread stuff that is on the internet, but when it is their pervasive online persona, a person that posts obnoxious stuff on the internet, is still a person who would post obnoxious stuff on the internet.

    kittymoonbeam thanked gyr_falcon
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    It used to be that the ogre came out only when they were drunk.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Embothrium
  • 9 years ago

    Yep, in a handbasket.

    My thoughts are all jumbled on this subject. Lots of things I'm thinking and not sure how to say. In past generations, average people had to work harder. Might have had to raise their own livestock, grow their own food, etc. And without internet, they likely weren't as "in touch" with what was happening in the world around them. They had to rely on each other more than we do now. I'm sure there was local gossip, but for the most part, they didn't have time or inclination for much of that nonsense.

    There have always been self-centered people and violence. And each generation wanted their children to have "more" than they had. I don't necessarily think that is always a good thing. Often, when they were given more, they had less. More freedom, less responsibility. More money, less respect for belongings. And to be able to give them more, parents had to work harder. Instead of one parent working and one parent spearheading childcare, now both parents had to work. More money, less time to actually "raise" your children. Children often trusted to be on their own after school gave them more time for them to create new ways to get into trouble. Instead of spending time with our children and leading by example, we barely have time in the morning to give them a hug or kiss goodbye until we see them later each night. And then we're too tired to do anything with our children.

    As our world evolved and transportation could truly "transport" us to just about anywhere we wanted to go and the internet could take us even further abroad, we now had access to things we never dreamed of. To me, knowledge isn't the same thing as being smart. We've always been smart. But now we have access to so much knowledge, that KIDS can make bombs! Weapons are easier to get.

    Kids are bombarded daily with violence on television. Video games are bloody.

    I know my post may offend some, but I truly believe that we are becoming a species that is intent on killing itself.

    kittymoonbeam thanked donna_loomis
  • 9 years ago

    Gyr_falcon, yes. I think you are right. People can behave well in public and be concealing their bad qualities. Sometimes we see the monster inside.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elizabeth
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "Weapons are easier to get."

    Only in the United States. Not anywhere else.

    "we are becoming a species that is intent on killing itself."

    Only in the United States, if you exclude third world countries experiencing civil unrest and warfare. Other developed countries have effective gun laws and don't have excessive numbers of guns in circulation as we have. Nowhere else experiences the extreme number of gunshot tragedies and mass shootings we regularly have.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    Does it matter that it's only "us"? There are enough of "us" to make it happen eventually.

    kittymoonbeam thanked donna_loomis
  • 9 years ago

    If your comment is in response to what I said, I'll thank you and ask that you please explain a bit more.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    Elmer, I'm saying that there are enough people living in the U.S. who seem to be bent on mayhem that I believe it will happen eventually. I also should have clarified that my rant (above) was mainly directed at the U.S.

    kittymoonbeam thanked donna_loomis
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think it's well accepted that the percentage distribution of intelligence levels from low to high, personality types, personality disorders, and mental illness are, absent unusual factors, pretty much comparable when looking at one society/country/culture vs another.

    Other countries have the same media/internet/video games/violence on TV and movies that we have, some have even more, but they don't have anywhere near as much of what you accurately describe as mayhem. For us to be more like them (less mayhem), I think the answer is obvious.

    The problem isn't what's available in the media (which I think should be free of censorship) because the same stuff is available elsewhere and it doesn't lead to the problems we have.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    I didn't blame everything on media/internet/video games/violence on TV, Elmer. Did you miss my comments about how parents are raising (or not raising) our children?

    kittymoonbeam thanked donna_loomis
  • 9 years ago

    I saw it. I found the other part of what you said more something I wanted to comment about. Parenting is a puzzling experience, both because most people don't know much about it until they're done (and it may be too late) and oftentimes parents and kids face situations without enough information to make choices.


    One thing is clear, having children is an option in life and it's a multi-life altering factor that people who don't have the time, money or interest to try to do their very best possible for their children, should avoid altogether.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    I seriously don't think that the starving mothers I see on UNICEF posters with children wasting away took the "option" of having children. I know, that was crass and I apologize.


    Parenting, or lack of it (in the U.S.), is probably a large part of the reason we are self-centered. We'll probably hear from you again, Elmer, but I'm done beating a dead horse.

    kittymoonbeam thanked donna_loomis
  • 9 years ago

    Agree, but I think you've strayed off topic. Starving people and refugees in the Third World, pictured in various UN or international relief programs, aren't Facebook addicts, popular culture zombies, or absent parents.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd
  • 9 years ago

    What a fascinating topic! I have thought about this many times. It's funny how you see people on Facebook write attention seeking posts, then when you text them or call they are too busy. I also notice that in my friend group the single people in their 40's and older post a lot of off the wall things. I have often wondered if they were running those ideas by someone and had that feedback would they really post such things. I do think you can tell a lot about person by their social media habits.

    Donna- I find everything that you said to be thought provoking and interesting. I thank you for sharing your opinions. I have wondered if social media has increased violence as recently a rape and murder were posted on Facebook.

    kittymoonbeam thanked hooked123
  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Do you think it's possible for us to move toward a friendlier, more helpful state where people are more considerate, patient, helpful. Less stressed overall. I would like to see less crime, less anger, more kids with two parents and grandparents involved. More interest in finding solutions to the things that cause disease, despair and isolation. If we all said we wanted that, couldn't we make it happen in a few generations?

    To be human is a great gift. Some people want to act like animals instead. I wish we could all move forward together and be happy. I dream of a world where everyone has enough to eat and something useful to do. There is no fear. You can walk about freely. Someone needs help and people aren't afraid to offer it. That world could be a reality but I don't see people in the media or the internet saying they want it.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Do you think it's possible for us to move toward a friendlier, more helpful state where people are more considerate, patient, helpful.

    Most of the people here on the KT are considerate, patient, and helpful.

    If we **all ** said we wanted that, couldn't we make it happen in a few generations?

    It is rare that there is unanimity here even with all the good folks, I don't know that I'd expect it elsewhere.

    kittymoonbeam thanked lucillle
  • 9 years ago

    kitty, I find your suggestions kind and thoughtful. I'd love to see what you describe come into being.


    Possible? Yes. Likely, probably not.

    kittymoonbeam thanked Elmer J Fudd