Take it as a compliment, compared to the alternative words people might use for others of your vintage who aren't in your good shape.

How about "agile"?

Agility of the brain is helpful, as well.

Don't worry too much about age: just deal with each day as it comes.

ole joyfuelled

Nah, I consider it patronizing & NOT a compliment.

I wouldn't mind being called spry. I am not nuts about being called "sweetie". I don't mind other terms of endearment....but "sweetie" just seems to be old lady to me. My husband said, "You are almost 70 years old and you work like a slave. You ought to be happy because most old women couldn't keep up with you." I was just glad he recognized that I "work like a slave". :D

My mom is in a nursing home. I HATE it when people talk baby talk to her. She has always found it to be annoying and now that she's not able to vocalize her feelings, I cringe when the staff talk to her. But then, oooops, I find myself speaking to other residents exactly the same way even though I've tried to break myself of that habit. Maybe we should try to focus on the intention.

Based on the definition in the dictionary using spry to define someone who is both active and elderly is no where near an insult. My mother is 84, still working and going strong, we affectionately refer to her as Bunny (as in Energizer Bunny). She was tickled pink because a medical professional referred to her as spry just the other day and went on to say she has the health of a 70 year old. Resent it if you will, but it's the exception to the rule and a compliment.

I really dislike that word. I was at a party some years ago, talking with a beautiful, elegant woman in her 80s, a successful artist, when a younger woman came along and said to her, "You're so spry!" I haven't liked that younger woman since. :-)

Although, I'm fairly sure this wonderful lady (Virgina McLaurin) was spry even at 16. I'd love to know if those who use spry say it to everyone?

How about 'dearie'? Loathe it when somebody addresses me in that manner. Also, have you noticed that so many up the volume when they speak to you....like.....I may be older than dirt, but I'm not deaf!

I haven't been called spry, but I find it strange that in the past year five young women have approached me saying I'm amazing. Why? I guess because I run on the treadmill every day at the gym, and I'm supposed to be sitting knitting in a chair? The latest was miles from the gym where the others comments were said. This was a Target salesperson who came up to me. The week before it was a man at a Thai restaurant. My mother mowed her yard at age 90.

I don't like that word either. I'm sure it's most often said as a compliment, but underlying is the indication that basically you are OLD!

I don't care what anyone calls me. I judge people on how they treat me.

When I graduated from a small high school in 1970, I started attending our annual Alumni Banquet for the whole school each year. The 50-year class is always honored at the banquet, and back then the few classmates from the class of 1920 attending were barely ambulatory. Spry would have been a step up.

Over the last 25-years you can see a great improvement for the general health and activity level of the 50-year class, thanks in part to new knees and hips (LOL). My sister is part of the 50-year class this year and she's a go-getter. She lives in a retirement mobile home park in Texas and gets side jobs power-washing mobile homes, and even repaired roofs for several of the elderly in the park who couldn't afford to hire it done. She takes her ladder out and picks citrus, papaya, avocado - whatever she can find for free, and distributes it to whoever can use it in the park. "Spry" would be an insult to her. She can, and does, out-work people half her age.

The word spry is specifically used to refer to an elderly person. It's part of the meaning. As I've always understood it, it doesn't just mean agile, but agile in spite of infirmity. So calling someone who stands erect, appears athletic, and bikes twenty miles in a day "spry" would be wrong, even if that person is more than 80 years old. Calling someone who is a little stooped, not so trim, and with an arthritic limp spry when he can still pull off the Western Swing, is appropriate even if he's only 50.

Passing remarks on anyone, by anyone, can rankle if you're the target. I don't see this as a sign of infantilization. Perhaps rudeness.

I'm not elderly, but it annoys the heck out of me when people say, "He's eighty-two years young." Barf. If you don't want say "old", try, "He has eighty-two years." Period. If that sounds too Romance language-ish, add a phrase like "behind him". Or just, "He's 82 years of age."

I don't know who might have referred to you that way, but my guess it was someone at least 20 years younger than you. Some people use words that they hear others use and don't think of the consequences.

Another word that offends many women: ma'am. You need to be at a certain age to be offended by that term also.

I can't believe some people would become angry or lower their opinion of anyone who complimented them with no underlying malice or poor intent.

That, to me, is a sign you're getting old.

The word "cranky" comes to mind.

When I hear the word Spry, I think of shortening. I don't even know if it is made any more or not. It would not bother me. Not much bothers me as I have other things to deal with in my life.

Sue

I hate it when a person in their 60's is called elderly by the media... as in "an elderly woman was killed by a hit and run accident. Sue Blank was 61.

I hate the smarmy "young lady". We have a deli counter guy at a local grocery store who (based on my observation while standing in line) seems to address every woman over the age of 40 that way.

I am 79 and if someone called me "spry", I'd take it as a compliment and run (that is, if I could run).

I think it's the way the word is used. Although it seems to usually refer to an older person, it's almost as if it's used with an exclamation point. Look what you can DO at YOUR age?!

As if this is not the norm for an older person and so it should be marveled over.

Things that used to be amusing to me, are no longer.

Side story: I still lunch with women I used to work with. They gave me a birthday card and it had to do with getting older and being forgetful. Three out of the five are younger and thought that it was funny. I didn't because I am starting to have to be more mindful in remembering things.

Another story: We were invited to a neighbor's 50th birthday. A surprise party hosted by her husband. The invitation asked that we all come dressed old, so T----- would look like the youngest in the room.

I bought a lace color and wore a cameo pin on my cardigan. I borrowed suspenders for my DH. He really did not want to participate. He is gray haired and at least 15 years older than most of the guest.

He looked out the window and noticed someone going in that did not have a "costume" and he refused to participate. I think it felt silly to him to look older when he already was older!

Most did participate. But, here is what they did. Gray wigs, walkers, oxygen masks, black framed glasses. I guess funny to those not there yet. But to the rest of us.......

Wow....I hope someone says to me (shortly, when my broken ankle is healed) "LOOK AT YOU....SPRY as s spring chicken"! I'll say Thank YOU!

Would that anyone could still use that word for me! There was a time when it would fit, but not now. Now when someone learns my age, they say things like are you sure you are 91?, or you can't be 91! No, I'm no longer physically spry, but I can hold my own in a conversation with young, old, or in between, and leave them laughing. Remember the old saying: "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!" When and if someone refers to you as spry, smile and say "Thank you."

ETA I just noticed I am itsuz there, but I'm still Sue va. It was that sign in thing!

Looking at my Websters New World Dictionary, 2nd College Edition, the word is Scandanavian in origin: Sprygg, meaning lively, or maybe British: sprey. Hard to tell. "Full of life, active, nimble, brisk, etc., esp. though elderly." Those last three words throw me. Are they saying that it could pertain to all people, but especially the elderly, or just the elderly (whenever "elderly" starts)?

Many years ago, when I was about 40, I attended my husband's monthly ski club meeting, which was then held in a Sr. Citizens Center. We both helped set up chairs from the storeroom. I found it extremely depressing to look at the small ocean of wheelchair & walkers that the storeroom held, in addition to folding chairs. I guess I should be happy that I haven't reached that point yet. (Future meetings were held in a bar/restaurant since the SCC didn't allow wine, beer or liquor; the attendance numbers then went up.)

Just a thought! Life is just more pleasant if one ASSUMES that others are saying things with the KINDEST intention. Why ASSUME, others are intending to cause you to think un=kind intentions. And, IF they did (mean it in an unkind way)..... by taking it as a KIND remark, you have turned their remark into something bewildering to them!

Good point, Nanny!

And I don't get the ma'am thing. When I was really too young (like fifteen), I'd think "I'm a "Miss", but accept it as spoken. If someone is just being polite, well, polite is good and to think poorly of someone for trying to be polite is churlish.

I'm wondering, too, ...... What would be polite to call anyone, male or female of any age. Seems like :"ma'am, kid, kiddo, sweetie, honey, miss, sir (may apply to all age of men) dear, Hey You, .....Off to dinner, I'll ask!

Wish I was "spry" right now.

Oh I would love to be called "spry"....instead of "waddling like a duck"!

I don't use it nor have I heard it used about anyone except the elderly..but what's elderly exactly? 90's?, 80's?, 70's?, 60's? I'm not sure...and I wish I did look good..for my age. That would not hurt my feelings

I am amused at the people that say, I wish I could do that... when I stand there in my cycling gear, buying a gatorade or something. Most of the time, those folks are WAY younger than me.

That's how I feel sometimes. I'm 63 and do a lot of trail running and I get ticked off when people say with amazement in their voice - "boy are you ever in great shape", and I always wonder why are they so amazed, I know nothing else.

Yep, I hear young lady a lot. Now. Never heard it when I was a young lady. So it's irritating to hear it. Or kiddo. I hear that one now too. It's often said by older men. Why do they think I need to hear that one? I know I am younger than they are, but I aint young. I'm in the middle.

Err no Rob, you're young! :)

If I live to be 95-100, I'm in the middle. More likely, I'm on the last half that won't be as long as the first half (I aint living to 100!). Young quit at least 10 years ago. Although, I just got called "my gorgeous one" (a big flirt!) and that was better than young lady.

blfenton

That's how I feel sometimes. I'm 63 and do a lot of trail running and I get ticked off when people say with amazement in their voice - "boy are you ever in great shape", and I always wonder why are they so amazed, I know nothing else.

******

Maybe because you're the exception to the rule which says we get more sedentary as we age. Maybe because you're admired and are a role model. Maybe you're changing perceptions and expectations. Maybe it's a compliment in the face of a generally over-fed and under-active America, in which people's body's become ravaged by the effects of the aforementioned well before your age.

It would make me smile if I defied expectations.

Would you people who are so offended by friendly comments and compliments paleeze wear a big sign around your neck so that fellow humans know just what we are allowed to say to you?

Sheesh.

I think it's more the patronizing than the actual words rhizo. I sincerely doubt you'd offend :)

Good idea Rhizo. I'm sorry certain terms/words bother people so much. Life is too short to let little things like that bother you.

Rob, I honestly feel (and know) that most in the vast majority of instances, the offending person never intends his or her remarks to patronizing and would be shocked to know of this misinterpretation of common remarks or addresses.

For me, it's the unspoken qualifier of "for your age" that irritates me.

I suspect that many people who are called spry or agile or fit never let the sedentary lifestyle take hold or if it did they fought that battle and won. For them (and me) it is normal, it is part of our life and our routine and it has become a part of who we are as we age - it doesn't require a comment.

I was first called "ma'am" when I made Sergeant in the USAF. I loved it.

Now as long as the person is under 30 it doesn't bother me. I called all women "ma'am" until I was 30. Of course, my name, or no title at all is just fine, and, being from the south, and when I run into fellow southerners of any age up to mine I'm never surprised or shocked with "ma'am," that's just what we say. And "sir" to the guys.

I have always called nearly everyone of all ages "sweetie." I have tried over the decades to change this, but it still pops out now and then.

I was never, ever referred to as "spry." Even when I was active (?) and in shape I hated exercise, running, anything physical. Except dancing. Loved that.

Which is it you resent more, going on 79 or being extremely active?

I guess I'm showing my age to also think of the shortening when I hear the Spry reference. Which also makes me think of "Golden Fluffo"!

Several places use the same definition for "spry". "Lively, active, and brisk; vigorous." And that's offensive? Must have an awful lot of good things in your life if that's the best to offend you! Sheesh!

I've been called a lot of things in my life so I guess words seldom bother me. They're just letters put together. They're only words. I have so much good in my life that things like that don't even come close to making the "bothers me" list.

I suspect it's more of a situation that people have trouble accepting a compliment rather than truly being offended. And maybe they need to work on that a little.

I truly don't understand how or why anyone is offended at ma'am.

It is a sign of respect to others.

Weren't you raised to say yes/no ma'am and yes/no sir to others in response to questions?

I was taught to say it to any command, reprimand from an adult, I.e. no running in the school as well as general questions from anyone I didn't know, I.e. waitress asking, are you done with that plate?

Age has never been a factor. If the cashier who is clearly younger than I am in the store asks if their is anything else I need, I reply with, "no ma'am", if I need help from that clearly younger man in the store I don't say, "excuse me young man (to me, THAT is patronizing) I say, excuse me sir"

Maybe it is regional? I've only ever had a few people get upset and say something to the effect of I'm no ma'am/sir!!! Which just makes me think, obviously or you wouldn't act that way.

Just a day or so ago I read a recap of a NBA basketball game. In it the writers referred to one of the players as "spry" I believe that he in fact is a rookie this year so he may not even be 20 years old yet. So there. :-)

Just checking in to see what Houzz is calling me right now.

Sure wish I knew how to get back to the "other" me, and get the avatars again. Think it is just because I'm not SPRY?

Sue, Click on Your Houzz in the upper left corner. Hover your mouse pointer over the big square on the left end of the banner picture -- that square is for your Avatar and you'll see a camera icon. Click the camera and you'll get a dialog box where you can drag or click to upload your avatar picture.

Then, on the right side of the banner, click on the gray button that says Edit Profile. You can potentially change your username, but that's not what gets displayed. Scroll down to the first line under Profile Information and you'll see a line for "First name (publicly displayed)". Put your screen name there. There's also a last name field, which displays, if you want a longer or two part screen name. This is the IMPORTANT part -- scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the green UPDATE button or your screen name won't be saved.

plllog, Thank you. I'll copy that and print it off til later and see if I can make it work. I contacted Houzz yesterday and tried to follow their suggestions but may have made matters worse. It all started yesterday or the day before when I tried to make a comment and got the "Sign up to Comment" message.