Another family in my family plot
I would very, very much appreciate reader's thoughts to my disturbing
situation. My dear parents are buried side by side in a cemetery in a small
farming community. There are two empty plots in front of their graves
reserved and paid for by my dad for my wife and me.
I was very disturbed last week to see that another family very
recently placed a gravestone on one of the above noted empty family plots in
front of one of my parent's graves. It does not appear that there are any ash
remains. This gravestone is placed right against the grave cover of one
parent's grave and due to its size this gravestone does not at all look good
there and significantly obscures and detracts from my parent's graves and
headstone. I know as long as I live and visit my parents graves I will not
have a good feeling about this headstone being there. The local municipal
office that handles the cemetery said because of poor records, an error was made
in selling one of my two reserved empty plots to another family. Other similar
errors have been made in the cemetery.
Although I really want to retain both empty plots as my parents planned, it
may be selfish on my part to do so since my wife and I now only need one plot
and other family members say they likely will not be buried at this cemetery.
In the end I would be willing to give up the one plot but only if the upright
headstone was replaced with a flat marker but I feel I have no right to suggest
this. I want to cause as little commotion as possible and be as respectful as
possible of all parties. This is also a small community and I don't want to
have a bad reputation even thou I am not now living in the community but I also
want to do what is right for everybody but especially respect my parents.
I am not sure on how to handle this situation. I feel that since its the
municipal office made the error that they should fix the problem - whether
its moving the stone if no ashes buried or ask widow if she would be willing to
get a flat marker or is there some other solution? Even though I could accept
having a non-family member in one of the four plots, it would bother me very
much to visit my parents grave and have this new grave stone in front of their
graves which I strongly feel is very obtrusive.
I would appreciate your opinions on what is the right thing to do and how
to do it. Thank you all so much.