My grandmother just died on this past Friday. I cannot even BEGIN to express how much I love that woman and how much she meant to me and how close to her I was... there just are no words. She was already going downhill on my birthday, this past wednesday, and frankly it was a totally miserable day for me. People kept saying "happy birthday" and I wanted to scream "I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN, ARE YOU CRAZY?" It doesn't matter that she died two days later, I will always remember this birthday as the time my beloved grandmother died and the single most painful time in my entire life so far. I guess I'm trying to say, it doesn't matter. In the jewish religion there is no choice in burial dates, it has to be done 24 hours after the death unless it falls on a holiday or shabbat so the funeral and burial was today. No it was not on my birthday, but my birthday will be forever tinged with sadness because I think that's the day I knew in my gut grandma would not be coming home. I know if grandma could have done it any other way she would have, but she had no choice in the matter. I'm sure if your mother could have had it another way too. I probably won't get around to celebrating my birthday this year and who knows if I will ever feel like it again. All I know is that sometimes you have to put aside what you want and do the right thing... that's one of the lessons my grandma taught me.

Aliris, I know exactly what you mean because I have witnessed subpar/unused venting before. The yuck doesn't just vanish but goes to the closest surface it can cling to. That said, grease will go to the overhead vent if available (and turned on) and/or it will cling to the inside of the underside of the vent that will have to be cleaned manually along with the vent screen). Just because you have a vent, there isn't a free ride from not having to clean. I realize that most of the vent screens pop out and can be thrown in the DW. I question the area on the underside of the vent and how often that needs to be cleaned too. A good vent will help tremendously though with containment. Most everyone considers a backsplash behind a range necessary so the grease and splatters do go other places besides through the vent. As expensive (and gorgeous) as they can be, vents aren't a free ride for cleaning, just more containment. Something that continues to surprise me is when I say I'm considering downdraft, it's as if I say I'm not providing any ventilation. I've had downdraft before and though it may not be as good as an overhead, it does provide some help. I had a downdraft in our previous home and no one said anything about smells when we went to sell. The house was described as "turn key ready". I'm figuring having to clean the window behind the range more often then the other windows. Since I don't do much besides brown, I'm not anticipating a grease or steam particle large enough to attach itself 6' off the ground (9' ceilings). Perhaps we have a physics person who can determine the weight of a grease particle vs the velocity it's coming out of. I'm not trying to be a PITA but it does really come down to the remote possibility of it being able to travel that far. Now all that said today, I was mocking up how it might feel to work with 12' of windows in front of me and frankly it felt uncomfortable. I felt like I was on display. I asked my DH and a friend and both of them were fine with it. I don't know if it's something I'd have to get used to or it would always feel uncomfortable. The strangest part is we have 12' of window in the great room (where I did one test) and I've never felt it till today. Bottom line as you can read, I haven't decided on all windows or 2 windows and a vent.

I found out why his oldest daughter had been so difficult, and it wasn't because she was a spoiled "brat". She has a hard edge and that hard edge is thanks to Dad. On a Saturday this spring, I received a phone call from a woman. She told me she had been having an affair with my dh for several months (she lives out of town). He travels for business and she gave me details that fit and I knew she was telling me the truth. She told me they kept in touch by text-messaging. I didn't even know he knew how to text. Her parting shot was "I guarantee you there are others". She was very angry with him. He must have made her promises he didn't live up to. DH wasn't at home when she called. When he arrived home, I confronted him. He confessed. I got online and went through the text messages and found I couldn't see what was written but I could see the history. I saw another phone number from a different city that kept showing up and sure enough, it was another woman he was also carrying on with. Mind you, just weeks before this happened, I told my Mom that I was so lucky because I knew where he was every night (watching TV at home). I had no reason to believe he was misbehaving when he was out of town. I completely trusted him. Then came the realization that he had lied to me about the reason for his divorce from his first wife. Since he was in a "confessing" mood, I asked and he confirmed he was the guilty party in that situation, too. He begged me to stay with him and try to make our marriage work. I couldn't do it. I never even considered that we could make it work after he deceived me (from the very beginning) and then he betrayed me by cheating on me with multiple TOW's. We are no longer married. He's still trying to talk me into giving him another chance but there is just no way. I've gone through it all - shock, anger, self-pity, despair and now I am reaching acceptance that I did what I had to do to take care of ME by divorcing him. It is not about punishing him but it is about me having my OWN life, separate from him and his lies. I can say that I am very much enjoying being back in the driver's seat of my life. I have talked to his ex numerous times since then. She has been very supportive because she went through the exact same thing with him - over and over. He is a serial cheater and I think our ability to talk to one another helps us both. I think he is just a real wolf in sheep's skin and she thinks he is a great guy. She still loves him, but she did have two children with him and spent most of her life with him. I didn't. I also spoke to his oldest daughter. She cried on the phone. I felt very sorry for her. She has been hurt so badly by what he did to her Mom and to their family. She loves her Dad but she hates him, too and I think she was more aware of his cheating than her little sister. I asked both the ex and the oldest daughter why they didn't say anything to me about his infidelity with the ex (I had no idea) and they both replied that they assumed that I knew. As for the youngest adult daughter, she calls me frequently and we get together. She told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend and her Mom is very supportive of us being friends. I would never say anything bad about her Dad to her (or her sister). We just talk girl talk and I do love her. The points I am trying to make is never assume the wife knows. She is often the last to find out her husband is cheating. And never assume a man has told his spouse-to-be the truth about his past. Also, beware of the recently divorced man who pushes you into marriage. There are reasons for this. First of all, if he is recently divorced and looking for a serious relationship, he can't possibly be over his marriage and divorce. If he acts like he is, something is very wrong with the picture. If there is a hostile child (or adult child), the reason may not be BM. The reason may be that the child is in conflict (love-hate) with Dad because of something Dad did. The other reasons the man may want to push the marriage issue quickly is 1. Financial 2. To try to remedy his image or help him with a bad family/child situation 3. He is afraid to be alone. I learned a huge lesson. I can relate to Christie Brinkley when she says she will never marry again. Never is a long, long time, but if I ever marry again, it will not be to a recently divorced man and I will have a prenuptual agreement and I will keep my finances separate from his. In spite of what happened to me, I still believe in love and I still believe in marriage - with the right person. I hope my Mom is still alive for many years to come. If I meet someone and introduce her to him, I will LISTEN to what she has to say. I will never let a man rush me again. I'm technically not in a "step" situation any more but I'd like to continue to read and post. I may be able to offer a very different and hopefully helpful point of view.

SKMom - glad you were able to take that constructive feedback and use it wisely and to your advantage! Not everyone would be able to, I’m afraid - people can come across as ‘harsh’ in their comments looking at homes and if owners were lurking, they may get hurt feelings if their taste in decorating or finishes is criticized. A few years back there was a show on HGTV where former owners would get to go back to their homes and see what the new owners did to them, and I don’t think once they “approved” of renovations or changes - we are emotionally tied to our homes and what we’ve done to them - so I’d just say if you have cameras or videos, be careful what you wish for on listening to what people say when touring your home. Remember - this is a business transaction :)