My asparagus bed can't get any respect!
nowyousedum
7 years ago
last modified: 7 years ago
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hazelinok
7 years agoAmyinOwasso/zone 6b
7 years agoRelated Discussions
Help I can't get rid of my lambs ear and I really don't like it.
Comments (18)I figure I could add something years later since other people added comments a year later. I moved into a rental house in Boulder, CO that had very well done perennial beds around the time this original post was written. It's been neglected for 7 or 8 years or so, especially the last 3 years. I can tell from Google maps the last year the lambs really took out for the rest of the beds and even the yard. I've been digging, pulling and now have covered an entire bed with clear plastic to kill the seeds before I'll consider planting there. The roots have formed an impenetrable mass and are sometimes thicker than my thumb. They have smaller roots finding them all together. I think if I were building a prairie Sod house I would be thrilled to find these. I'm constantly facing masses of sprouts and churning them over with hopes of killing most of them. We live in a Bee Safe neighborhood, and I don't think Round Up would have helped much anyway. I put an ad on craigslist and I've had many people haul garbage bags of plants away but eventually I got tired of answering the text-I think I had probably 50 people take A wavering amounts of these plants. I've never had them spread before but I stay on top of them, possibly since I use them in flower arrangements or pull them out as soon as they stray out of their designated area. I've discovered I now despise them and I don't think I'll ever let them grow again. I see them downwind from our yard and I'm tempted to go pull them now to spare them future agony- especially since it's likely the seeds came from here in the first place....See MoreI can't get along with my stepdad
Comments (4)It sounds like a very difficult situation for you Jess... I doubt any of us will be able to help much, because if what you say is all accurate, then your SD isn't really behaving all that rationally, and there's not too much you can do about that. It does sound like he has a deep-seated disrespect for women as well as a short fuse. I can't imagine throwing my daughter out of the house at night for anything but the absolute worst behavior. What do you suppose would happen if you had a private talk with you mother along these lines: "I'm trying to be responsible by working to put myself through college, and save money by living at home. You know I can't afford a place of my own without going deep into debt, which I don't think would be wise. Since I am an adult, you and SD have a right to expect me to help around the house to help earn my keep. Do you think we could agree on what would be a reasonable list of chores for me to do -- and that if I do these chores as agreed, you and SD would stop pressuring me to leave?" Then ask you mom to discuss it with your SD? It might not work -- but then, you wouldn't really be any worse off for having tried....See MoreMy daughter does not respect my choice
Comments (5)I think no matter how young or old, kids don't really have a 'say' in who you choose to date, marry, etc. I'm an adult stepdaughter to both a stepfather (whom I get along with) and a stepmother (whom I don't get along with), and never would I have expected to have a say in who my parents chose to be with. So, while one's child doesn't have the right to choose or veto one's partner ---and maybe BECAUSE of that fact--- the parents/stepparents don't have a right to choose or veto the child's FEELINGS about that person. (They also don't have the right to choose or veto the stepparents' feelings about the stepchild, which may very well be just as negative if not more so.) If you're thinking about recoupling & blending families, it's a very, very weighty decision for EVERYONE involved. Except that the children, who are highly affected by the decision, are not involved in the decision-making process. The people who actually have the freedom and power to choose (the parents and stepparents) should choose wisely and after careful consideration and after as broad and open communication as possible. Precisely BECAUSE the aspect parents and stepparents don't have control over is anyone's feelings about it. A child DOES have the right to discuss concerns about the stepparent with the parent and/or that stepparent, but the child does not really ---as we all know--- get 'veto power' over the choice of the partner. The child can hope that the parent considers their needs, feeelings and input, but the child knows s/he is not the one in charge of the decision. A child has the right to disapprove of or dislike the stepparent (just as, is often said, the stepparent does not have to like the child or approve of everything the child does or is), but again, the child does not get say in if the stepparent stays or goes. Once the choice of partner has been made, stepparent and stepchild basically just have to deal with one another as- is. If they don't like each other, they each have many options as to how to cope (including making the decision *for themselves* to pull back from their relationship with one another), but there is a limited amount of control anyone can have over either of them in terms of the coping strategies THEY choose. If either/both the stepparent and stepchild dislike one another, basically that is their right. No one can force liking. No one can force the genuine, internal FEELINGS of admiration or respect. But every individual has the right to determine what kinds of outward BEHAVIORS they will and will not tolerate *for themselves*. A baseline level of OUTWARD RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR is required of everyone, even if INTERNAL RESPECTFUL FEELINGS are not there. So basically, yeah, no one can force anyone else to like them, and everyone knows kids don't REALLY get to choose their parents' partners, no matter what the parent may say to the kids to make them THINK it's something they have any control over. So I think it's better to NOT even create the illusion that they actually do have a say. Instead choose wisely and take co-responsibility for your choice, and accept that others will not always like your choices, and that is acceptable for both them and you. As with so many things in life, there are things we an actually control and things we can't, and things tend to work out best for everybody when people have a clear grasp of what those things are....See Morecan't get basil to grow in my garden
Comments (28)I'll speak to the clumping bit, since of course various herbs or plants will have different issues at different times. When they sell them together with 2-3 in a pot, that's a great time to transplant them into different pots or individual plants. So you bought one pot but got several plants. You're also aware of making more basil plants from cuttings, so you could even think of it as 1 pot gives you unlimited plants. Part of the reason for that is you don't need to plant them all at the same time, so if you use your original 2-3 plants to make more plants throughout the growing season, you'll get an endless supply of fresh basil. If one batch got affected by mildew or bugs because of early rains or insects hatching, then maybe the plants later in the season will have better growing conditions. Also be aware that you can snip off the tips of basil branches to create more branching, which means more leaves. So one plant can actually give quite a lot of leaves as it is growing. It also means that you could have a large plant, so as an mid or mature plant, it does need its space, too, not only for the leaves but for the roots....See MoreOkiedawn OK Zone 7
7 years agoNancy RW (zone 7)
7 years agonowyousedum
7 years agoAmyinOwasso/zone 6b
7 years agokittymoonbeam
7 years agoNancy RW (zone 7)
7 years agoOkiedawn OK Zone 7
7 years agonowyousedum
7 years agofitzjennings
7 years agoluvncannin
7 years agoNancy RW (zone 7)
7 years agoOkiedawn OK Zone 7
7 years ago
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Okiedawn OK Zone 7