I commiserate too. My husband is a fan of Tuscan which is holding back our finalizing choices for our kitchen remodel. Hope you can find a new house you both like.

I totally understand. The two last homes that we bought were Tuscan. I hired an Interior Designer by the hour and she helped a lot. She helped me choose to repaint which helped a lot. We are still detuscanizing the kitchen, which is going to be hard as I need to hire a woodworker to make new simpler corbels. Painting really helps. We still have all the travertine but it actually looks nice sans the gold paint. We're not going to get rid of the granite as the previous owner spent 100k on the kitchen, our kitchen is huge. We are going to work around it. We are also going to fill in some of the distressed holes in cabinetry that's cream and paint it a less distressed look.

I really think you can work around the ornate corbels and heavily distressed cabinetry. We are trying and I do have hope. We took the Tuscan out of all the rooms but the kitchen, I feel like the granite will always be not exactly what I want, but I can live with it for the next 10 years happily.

Dallas is heavy into the Tuscan thing. We lived there 5 years ago and we bought a house that had it- every house had it.

Kiko - yep I know that front door! I have one similar to it. I actually love the functionality of it. When someone knocks that you don't know you can just open the glass. I would love a front door that's less Tuscan but it's not going to happen. My husband loves the door and the previous owner spent 6k on it. I so understand this thread!

Melle- we lived in Sacto before too, it's a great city.

It really is amazing what a different paint color will do. We bought a house with a heavy French country influence. I had plans to do more in the kitchen than just remove wallpaper and paint (thought painting the cabs would help too) but once we did just that, it made a world of difference. Would I choose the limestone counters, tile floor that looks dirty all the time although it isn't, ornate hood and ornate backsplash? No, but I have actually come to love the kitchen! Here are a few pics:

Before

After

I would remind you that you've talked about how unhappy you have been in your current home because it was never right for your needs, but your husband persuaded you to buy it. Then, IIRC, he was a bit rigid about changes you wanted to make, further adding to your unhappiness with your home. This is sounding like a repeat.

The ornate wrought iron doors and stairs don't bother me, but the granite and floor tile in an open concept layout will really lock you into a warm color palette. Travertine and gold granite are very strong elements. Can you live with a warmer color palette? Will that color palette dictate what colors you can use in the living room? We bought our gold, red, and olive green upholstered furniture and cherry case goods ten or so years ago--a modern Arts and Crafts style. When we went to remodel the kitchen five years ago, I could not use a cool white counter with the warm tones in the adjacent rooms. So I used a cream quartz countertop with natural cherry Shaker cabinets. I'd never be able to jump on the gray trend in this house.

If the cabinet door style is very heavy and ornate, I'd want to see how he felt about keeping the boxes but changing the door style to something simpler.

mayflowers -- yep! Well, in his defense, he didn't persuade me to buy ANY house, he just said he wanted to be done looking so I persuaded myself that whatever house would accept our offer was better than no house. Maybe it was a good way to go, maybe not; I'm glad we've had the experiences we've had. Lately I've been trying to work on my attitude because I realized that if I have a bad attitude I'll always see the flaws no matter where I live.

I am seeking some perspective on Tuscan, and maybe once I find it then I can overlook the Tuscan stuff and see the bigger picture.

theclose -- removing that wallpaper made a dramatic difference, and your kitchen has a nice layout. A big part of what I don't like about Tuscan are the dark cabs...which I guess could be painted. Even if they were ornate, as long as they aren't dark maybe they're livable.

I need all the "think outside the decor" tricks to help me.

In his defense, he's trying to find places that meet all the criteria we're seeking: non-open kitchen, close to or greater than quarter acre lot, certain locations, gas stove, larger than our 1200 sq ft home, separate family/living rooms.

What could be done to de-Tuscan the interiors/exteriors?

I think Tuscan is too hard to undo. It's usually not just color, but trim, flooring, railings, tile.

Sounds like I need a strategic approach with negotiations...something I had not been considering ;-)

You've all given me much to think about today; it's especially reassuring to know that I'm not the only person out there who might be struggling with this, thank you!

What if you look at it as "Spanish" rather than "Tuscan"? That'll allow you to bring in some brighter, colourful accents.

In that first photo, if you can remove the backsplash so it's not so much granite, and paint the walls white (not beige) it'll be a big improvement.

Second photo is nice, maybe paint the cabinets?

Third photo is nothing but tile. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do there that doesn't involve gutting it. I thought about just replacing the accent tile, but they put it in that bad spot under the toilet!?!

The 4th is actually a nice Spanish style house. A creamier paint colour might improve it, but it's not bad regardless.

Melle - I think you can do a lot with toning down the Tuscan vibe in those pics you posted. The kitchens are nice and not that Tuscan imo, the second pic is very pretty. You can paint and bring out different tones in the counter tops that will steer things away from the Mediterranean vibe that you don't like. I really think those kitchens look more traditional than Tuscan. If you want to lighten it up you can paint the cabinets and walls.

This is what I need to read -- ideas for toning it down -- thank you! And my DH isn't against any remodeling, just that it would have to be down the road, just like it was with our current home.

Of the photos you posted, it's the bathroom that gives me pause. Nothing you can do to or with that bathroom. The kitchens were fine and would look fine painted.

I feel you, Melle. I remember looking at places a few years ago in the foothills (EDH) and seeing the predominance of faux-Tuscan, but even more extreme than the examples you've posted. I'd even walk into a Normandy-esque home and see a Faux Tuscan kitchen.

Is your true heart's desire full contemporary? MCM? (I can't recall) As noted, you can tone down the standard kitchen but the baths are going to be more challenging. I'd focus on places where the hard surfaces are the most flexible to work with in decor (ie., wood floors rather than travertine, minimal tile in baths) or go for a true fixer. Do any of the neighborhoods have in-fill developments? Sometimes you can intercept and influence the finish choices. A notice a lot of the newer infill developments closer to the core are ditching the faux Tuscan.

You named "gas stove" in your list of criteria for your new house. Remove that as a requirement. If a house only has electric, you just get an induction range and you will be happy with it. I hope you haven't crossed out perfectly good homes based on whether they have a gas range or not. If you have, you should revisit those homes.

"he just said he wanted to be done looking so I persuaded myself that whatever house would accept our offer was better than no house. "

Impatience is no reason to buy a home. It actually sounds very short-sighted and frankly, a little childish. I am not blaming your husband, as it sounds like you feel similarly. Because you don't want to spend more time looking, you'd rather buy a home you'll be spending years in whether you like it or not? That makes no sense. (and, BTW, we are just coming out of the holiday season--always a time for slim pickings in houses for sale. If you can find a way to contain your impatience, there should be more of a selection as we head toward Spring.)

Notice the color that theclose used in her refresh of her ornate kitchen. Blue or bluegreen shades can be lovely with brown and worked very well to tone down her kitchen. Similar colors would work in the two kitchen photos you posted above. I agree that there isn't much you could do with that bathroom.

M -- that was how we came to own our present home. There are pros to our current place, it's not all bad. I'm not impatient, didn't mean to imply that.

I'm more than happy to look, and this time around I want to look and look and look until we find the right place, I just don't want to overlook a nice place merely because I lacked the vision to see beyond certain unappealing styles.

I keep forgetting about induction, or that we could probably switch to gas. Scratching that must have off the list.

In our market it is very slow until April and even in early April the houses tend to be overpriced (more anxious buyers than sellers)

Please scroll down and check out the before and after at Velvet and Linen: Here. It is an example of how they brightened a very tuscan looking house.

I was going to ask you to share what sort of rooms are the most appealing to you to see if we can figure out how to bridge the gap. Then as I looked at the before and after images, it made me wonder if you have thought to share some photos with your husband of what appeals most to you? It sounds like he is looking at all these "nicely finished" homes, but perhaps he can't conceptualize what would spell out home to you. I'm wondering if once he sees what you really like, he'll see why these homes aren't working for you, or maybe he'll be able to imagine some great ideas of how to update them, per Robo's suggestion of figuring those updates into your offering prices.

I've never shown DH more than a few pictures of what I like, maybe that would help. I'll start curating a collection of inspiration pictures. I like transitional/MCM/minimalist/eclectic. Is that a thing? ;-)

Velvet and Linen made some very dramatic changes, thanks for sharing!

melle,

think with yourself which things you are willing to run with even if you're not completely sure of them, and which you'd rather not

for example when we started looking for our previous place 6(or most like almost 7 actually) years ago, here, in Southern CA, I told the realtor:

-I don't want Cape Cod style, please

I didn't want it since I've just moved from East Coast-and while life is never black or white-I kinda struggled through living there, in many meanings. It just wasn't my place, as much as I loved NY, the foliage, the spring there..and Cape Cod style reminded me of that.

So I loved stucco houses much more, we were in a hurry( family circumstances), and we looked at several places a day..by the end of the week, we saw ours and put an offer on it.

It was a Mediterranean style condo, done with taste and consideration..pleasing proportions, good bones, amazing layout.

The finishes were builder grade-nothing special yet nothing offending. The only thing that was updated was the kitchen. The cabinets weren't overly done, but it did have busy granite for both counters and backsplash. And there was a hand painted(rather poorly) Tuscan motive over the stove top, on the dark travertine(I think) insert.

Let me start-I didn't know there were trends, and I didn't know that particular one was Tuscan. I came to the US from overseas, and lived in apartment complexes..sometimes we were invited to people houses, and as we lived in Southern CT-these were usually expensive nice big(especially to me) houses and that's what I got from them.

I didn't like the finishes right away.

But I didn't find them offending enough either. The kitchen was inside the house..it was very comfortable to work. It wasn't too flashy or too sad. And the undertones didn't fight each other:)

We redid right away what we considered important-the floors. It was pretty heavily stained carpet everywhere. And we built our bookshelves to have the space for books, documents, kids art, TV..all the things that we had to fit.

We did the first floor right away. We left tiles in the entry and the kitchen, that wasn't the most beautiful tile in the world but was pretty neutral and not offending, and put wood flooring in the rooms. And we exchanged the carpets and replaced the tiles on the second floor in three years or so.

We thought to remodel the master bath at some point but never got to it.

The thought to remodel the kitchen didn't even cross my mind:) Even though I didn't find it beautiful. It worked, it didn't bother me enough..and everybody who entered the house loved it and sometimes loved it so much I got the nicest compliments ever, like "I would live here" and "Can I just stay with you here for longer" and "What a wonderful home". And nobody payed attention to that granite I didn't like or pickled oak I wasn't a fan of. It was a minor thing in a beautiful, well thought out home, filled with light.

So, to me the bones are important. The style of the home is important (even though we were so desperate last time we were searching-unlike previous time took us a year because we had to include new priorities..so I was ready to expand my horizons and embrace Cape Cod if it's nice enough..)). The layout is deadly important. The view is important-not necessarily that we'd have a view-but the general look of the street..what do I see when I approach a house. And this intangible feeling, the vibe..the hunch whispering to you it might be your home.

Pick what's important to you. The finishes can be changed, right away or when you have time/money/energy for that. The paint can be changed. The overdone-ness can be tempered.

But it's hard to make a house into a different house unless you rebuild it sometimes completely. You can't move it to a different street. And it's very expensive to remodel to change the poor layout.

If you know just by the picture of the facade you won't like the place-save your time. Go to houses that speak to you at least some. (unless you're desperate for reasons you know and we don't. we were close to being desperate last time. but we miscalculated the time frame so much it didn't matter in the end..if we only knew lol)

And when you're there-try to see the space as a whole. Don't hang up on finishes too much unless they're absolutely atrocious (it happens too)). Cheap white tile from the nineties? fine. Brown granite? fine. Do you like the rest though? Does this place talk to you, at all? do you hear some inner dialogue with it? If no, then it's not your place. If yes-you'll move in and sooner or later you'll figure out how to meet that house. It will be yours. It will talk to you in its own way. It might be capricious:) But you'll figure it out.

I'm not giving specific advises-the link to the thread posted earlier -I read it all-great suggestions there and many helpful links. That's already the next step.

It's a great point about inventory -- things will pick up in the later Spring. Also, you may carefully consider your Realtor's connections. Some groups like Lyon have listings that come up only within the office network, before they are entered into the MLS. My neighbor's home was purchased before it even it the system, as did several others I know about. I'm not a fan of it, but that's the system they play.

Thank you for the reminder to try and see the bigger picture! I love the way you described finding your So Cal home :-)

This might sound silly, but I'm putting all my house-hunting desired into a Power Point, along with photos and all my thoughts etc. I think this would be a great way to communicate to DH what I'm hoping to find. Despite all the discussions we've had, we aren't on the same page and I want to progress rather than stall, even though the move might be 1-2 years out at this point.

Gooster -- you are right about that, I've seen listings on some groups that aren't on others. We don't even have an agent, so we aren't in the "must move" mode just yet. But we are planning to move so I want to get my priorities straight in order to make a great choice and not overlook something that would have been a good fit.

You're looking at houses that have been built in the past 20-30 years. Look at older houses and you may avoid the dreaded "tuscan" look.

Most of what we're looking at is from the 50s/60s, with some 40s and some 70s. That's the other thing I dislike about the remodels, they often don't really suit the style of the house. Most of what is available in the areas we're looking is tract ranch homes.

I don't know exactly where melle lives..but here where we are the builders tried to mix styles of homes since 60 s at least, and continue to do that. They have several "models" within the same community, very often..a bit funny even, but I'm sure people appreciate the thought:) What people are putting inside these homes and whether it's relevant to the house or not-now it's a different question.

melle I don't think your Power Point thing is silly at all..I actually find it pretty smart..especially as I'm technology-challenged and never did Power Point yet in my life..:) Everything that helps to to communicate your thought and feelings to you husband and yourself is a good thing.

The two kitchens you show aren't what I was picturing as Tuscan. I would call them traditional kitchens. The second kitchen has really nice cabinets but a horrible layout. I couldn't accept having the sink so far away from the stove. Older kitchens were designed more for looks than function, so you might need to get familiarized with what makes a good work space. That'd be my criteria since you probably won't change the layout ever.

Ah, MCM, no wonder you are having difficulties imagining reworking these spaces. :-). Tuscan to country would be less of a jump than tuscan to MCM. I think the Power Point idea is fantastic. Seeing MCM vs. tuscan should be really helpful for your DH, and done with love it could be really sweet that you care enough to go to the effort to do this for him (and for you.) Its a lot easier to row the boat when you are both rowing in the same direction.

I don't think this kitchen is so bad, picture taking down some uppers and replacing them with open shelves, possibly (probably?) painting the lowers. Painting the walls. The sink and stove don't look far from each other to me. In fact, it looks like just the right amount of room to prep between the sink and stove (replace with induction.) Layout is king. You can put lipstick on a pig, but you can't teach a pig to dance. Well, maybe you can, but it's a lot more work!

You also don't want a cooktop on a peninsula or island, especially with kids.

Agreed! We had the stove-on-peninsula feature in our old kitchen and we did re-do the layout significantly. In fact, remodeling the kitchen is what has made our house much more liveable over the years. It was a major ordeal, however, and I would prefer not to re-do layout again.

I don't know many tricks for moving these type houses to MCM, but it would be possible to neutralize. You've gotten lots of ideas so far...for that bathroom, I would look into tile paint, maybe for only the accent tiles (which would be a little labor intensive, but the overall result may be worth it.

If you google or pinterest Painting Bathroom Tile, you'll find lots of tutorials and inspiration pics. Also take a look at tile decals. Maybe a combo of those and paint could get you by.
Tile floor decals

I'm not holding out hope for an MCM home, ways to neutralize is what I'm hoping to learn. Thanks for the info on tiles...especially for addressing accent tiles!

The market in the city that you are looking in is expensive. Would you ever want to build? What about an older home as Anglophilia recommended? I love the Fabulous Forties and Elmhurst. I have seen some ranch style homes in Roseville that could be transformed into MCM.

My realtor friend says the real estate market in CA picks up right after the superbowl, so 2 more weeks and there should be new inventory starting to come on the market.

My realtor says the same now, chispa..but we listed right before the elections..))

Looking at that exterior, well, it's Spanish and is going to stay that way. But! You could at least make that style less in your face with some nice, more neutral colors:

Olychik, in my world-yep, that's for sure is so:) I love Spanish style..and I'm nuts about bougainvilleas..our realtor didn't even want to show us our recent place, said it's too small(it was lol) -well, we waited for the open house then, and went ourselves. It had arches, and it had bougainvillea..))

Actually it's quite hard to find a home like that here..they're here but rarely on the market..they're swept off the market very fast. You call-and it's sold already. They have some authenticity to them..not like great examples of twenties and thirties..but still. The newer buildings, unless they are very expensive already, try hard, but don't always get there..

the crucial difference though, me and my DH, we both love this style. So you don't need to talk yourself into it, or your significant other into it..it's much simpler.

I'm in northern CA, actually, bougainvillea is a labor of love in Sacramento. I do love the fab 40s/mid-town homes, but totally out of our price range given the lot size desired.

But so many great ideas developed out of this thread! My power point, idea on how to neutralize the Tuscan/Spanish/traditional, the best time for market to pick up!

I am glad DH is watching the listings now, maybe he'll see things pick up in a few weeks and then realize that it's not quite as slim-pickings year-round. We went to an open house and the agents said as much.

@melle -- yup, several of the local brokerages are notorious for pocket listings. they won't even list your home on the MLS for a week until their network can shop for their clients. Contact a realtor you like in one of these offices, tell them what you are looking for, and have them contact you if something comes up. In an extreme case, you can even get more proactive. I've received letters from buyer's agents saying, basically, "your house meets the criteria of my clients, a nice family (blah, blah, blah) and we were wondering if you were interested in selling".

Rosemont and older parts of Elk Grove are full of older ranches that could be transformed into MCM. I am familiar with your neck of the woods as I have family there and grew up out there. The cost of real estate is high, sometimes I dream of moving back.

Funny you mention Rosemont, I'm looking to move out of Rosemont ;-) There are bigger homes here for sure, but the lot sizes are small.

I'd not fight it if the cost was too much. Instead, I'd find pictures of spanish or Tuscan I like. Maybe search for pics of real Italian homes (wsj seems to post a lot of these in the r.e. Section). I'd try to tone down the overly done details, but not change it abruptly. Now, if someone had turned an mcm or ranch into Tuscan, I'd peel away the layers and bring it back.

Can you post some pictures of the kitchens? "Tuscan" has many interpretations.

ADDING:

"Tuscan" to anything on the rural end is fairly easy ... Spanish, Mexican, Greek Island, Pueblo, rural industrial chic, Tuscan to Swedish traditional would be a stretch, but if you removed the cabinet doors and painted the rest it might work.

TIPS: Look for a house with the FEWEST objectionable expensive hard finishes (counters and tiles you can live with, that lend themselves to a change of genre)

Ignore anything you can remove or paint ... ochre colored walls, ornate lighting, valances.

And consider that cabinet doors can be replaced - if an otherwise decent house has those heavily carved greasetraps, swapping them for a simpler style is possible.

I also, like few other posters, feel that's what's considered here Tuscan is local interpretation..very stretched at that..thus it might seem fake when overly done..because well..it is. So check with yourself as well. whether it might be this fake feeling you're actually struggling with..or you, very simply, just like very different types of homes. I for example love Spanish the best; but I also love mcm, and Craftsman. But maybe put me somewhere when Victorians are prevalent-and within several years, I'll start liking them more and more. It's a question of exposure. To a big extent. I love Spanish because I spent many years in Mediterranean. So it spells home to me.

I looked at Velvet and Linen reno..yes, it's a pretty house, for sure..yet I wasn't impressed that much. It didn't get more authentic let's say..I'd say they overdid it into this French direction that is as French as here-Tuscan is real Tuscan, and I'm a ballerina..

I don't have any other specific pics, just photos from listings as they come up.

However, I am so grateful for all the feedback and ideas presented in this thread! I'm hoping that I'll be better able to look past some of the kitchens that may not be my style but are still in good shape, mainly to focus on layout etc and try not to get too hung up on finishes.

I do like some of the rural/industrial/farmhouse kitchens because they can skew eclectic, which is also a design style I like, and I hadn't considered the possibility of transforming tuscan/traditional into something like that.

HA! Resurrecting this old thread because we ended up with a house that has a pretty unattractive Tuscan Traditional kitchen with the worst style -- cathedral for uppers (except one door that was maybe too narrow for the arch???), salmon/rust granite countertops that go up the walls on all four walls (bet that cost a lot), and yellowish floor tile, peach walls and ceiling AND sanded skip trowel walls/ceiling... it's so completely not the style of the house overall. And I'm going to be living with it as is I hope I can stop seeing it after a while because the only thing I can change easily is the wall color.

Its the kitchen where our kids will learn to cook and I won't be stressing out about whether or not they are working carefully not to make a mess... can't ever tell if there's a mess because the busy granite counter has so much going on already! And there are boxes and boxes of extra floor tiles, maybe they were on clearance...