While waiting for my hubby to come out of surgery and back to a room, I got to hear a woman's whole life story.

My condolences. I think I would have found an excuse to step around the corner to make a phone call or gone to the restroom.

Oh Jasdip, I'm sorry. The waiting room experience is hard enough without having to accommodate someone else's needs too. A need I don't understand and can be offended by. I fully support someone else's beliefs, I don't need to be convinced to share them, find it presumptuous and intrusive if I have not asked.

I feel for you. There is this one checker I avoid at the grocery store who always works her religious beliefs in the conversation. I try to go in other lines, but sometimes she comes and gets me. No. I won't complain about her because I'd rather she be working than jobless.

I got stuck next to a woman on a four flight a couple of years back. I had to wake up at 3 am so I was already exhausted. I needed a nap. She was on her way to California to be with her son on his release from prison and I was on my way to a possibly once in a lifetime vacation. I was polite and realized she just needed somebody to talk to, but I sure could have used the sleep instead.

Jas, you must have been an angel in his time of need... ;)

hope this does not offend too many, but when others overstep they need a really big sign.

How rude. I would have told him, politely but sternly, that I wasn't interested and I would have asked him to stop. Let him be upset and move to another spot, he instigated the problem.

That's an unwelcome invasion of personal space. I never allow anyone to do that against my will.

Sometimes a person just doesn't want to carry on a conversation period. ugh. I think you were very patient and polite.

But you really weren't captive, you could have stepped out of the waiting room, although you really shouldn't have had to, and I understand what you are saying. I'd have politely said thanks but no thanks, and if the person persisted would have talked to the receptionist.

I consider it captive when one pays money to see an entertainer perform and instead are treated to that entertainers beliefs or perceived injustices.

I remember a 'captive moment' from when I was a kid. President Lyndon Johnson was attending church services and was subject to a rant from the pulpit. The media were there and it was caught on tape and made the news. A truly cringe-worthy episode.

Your experience, Jasdip, is exactly why I never go anywhere without a book. While I sat next to my husband through 20 months of countless tests and chemo sessions as he tried to beat pancreatic cancer...if I had not had a book to bury my nose in...I, too, would have been a captive audience. Scared people...which hospitals seemed to be filled with...have a propensity to babble on and on about whatever subject they know best to help relieve their stress and fears. I found that the pages of whatever fiction I was reading at the time not only discouraged unwanted conversation but helped the endless hours quietly pass by in a seemingly quicker fashion.

You were very kind to "help" that gentleman and having seen that scene play out many a time...I'm sure he appreciated your kindness more than you'll ever know. Perhaps what seemed like a conversion conversation was more of an audible attempt to remind himself of his faith. I suspect he might have been trying to still his own doubts at that point.

Ugh, I feel for you, Jasdip. I, too, have been a "captive" of an overly chatty person only this one was drunk and sat in the seat next to me on an airplane! Airline worker couldn't re-seat me as the flight was full. The drunk asked repeatedly for more alcohol and the worker continued giving excuses. It was obvious the man was drunk and being very loud so the worker kept putting him off while trying not to make him mad.

I was in the middle seat, Drunk was on the aisle and a woman sat next to the window. The only thing I could think to do was pretend I was asleep. Tipped my head back, relaxed my face and kept my eyes closed. Drunk commented on my sleepiness to surrounding passengers because he no longer had me as his audience.

Finally Drunk got up to use the bathroom. I opened my eyes, stretched and had a lovely albeit brief conversation with my seatmate next to the window. When I heard Drunk returning I once again pretended I was sleeping. For the rest of the flight I played 'possum.

Kessala

I was doing a Soduko puzzle and he started to chat. It was friendly enough. He talked about his wife, and her health issues, and I explained hubby's prostate cancer and now whatever he has going on. (we won't know until 2 weeks yet, he has another CT scan for next week).

A bit more conversation, then the religion. He asked if I was familiar with such and such passages, and what his religion believes in, etc. Of course I answered, and then he got on a roll. :-).

When he left, we shook hands, and I wished him and his wife well, and he gave me a card to the organization's website.

Be like my husband when he is waiting for me. If someone tries to talk he just sits like he can't hear them. He has told me it works every time.

This is a great reason to have a book to become engrossed in! Or act engrossed lol. I would have been called to the restroom!

"He asked if I was familiar with such and such passages, and what his
religion believes in, etc. Of course I answered, and then he got on a
roll."

Stop right there. Reply, no, I am not interested in your religion. Good luck, goodbye." Then move to another chair.

Ever hear the saying " No one can bully you unless you let them?" The same is true about another person starting and continuing an unwanted conversation. I'm shocked at how passive some of you are. Pretending to be busy or ignoring it isn't going to be effective.

My wife would have let this hospital scene go 10 seconds to be polite and then asked him to stop, maybe in the manner sushipup suggests. My petite and feminine (but very self confident) daughter would have said something like "Enough, I'm not interested" and might have slugged him (I'm half kidding) but said something loud to embarrass him if he continued. And then would likely ask him to sit somewhere else.

I'm sure he appreciated your kindness

I'm not. Instead I'm inclined to suspect boors are only interested in what they want, and that's why they're boorish.

Agreeing with anne_ ct when she said " Scared people...which hospitals seemed to be filled with...have a propensity to babble on and on about whatever subject they know best to help relieve their stress and fears." That's what I thought about the woman who told me her whole life story. I think she "needed" to just talk. It didn't hurt me to be a good listener.

If it was someone who just needed to talk, I might be inclined to agree but this sounds more like proselytizing.

I have no patience for that and would immediately shut it down.

I had an appliance repair man chat me up for this reason. To be fair, I am rather talkative and we chatted as he did his job. But then I saw the purpose to his conversation and he seemed quite hurt when I told him I was a happy Catholic. I wonder if you'll run into this fella again, Jas...

Perhaps you're correct, Gem. Under those circumstances I'd probably re-examine my own patience. But...I've spent a lot of time in hospitals over my life time...and I've seen/heard some pretty strange things resulting from people's fear and anxiety. I've had people interrupt my reading to tell me their life's story...and more. If they're that scared...it isn't going to ruin my day to listen to them. So far I've never had the need to personally babble on...but one never knows what the future may bring. I hope...if I ever do find myself in that position...that someone will be kind enough to tolerate me for a little while.

Anne- I, too, have experienced others who just needed to talk and I have been more than willing to accommodate them.

Part of being human is simply connecting with others and when someone is particularly lonely or anxious, that need intensifies.

The thing that really upsets me about the last few proselytizers I've encountered is they begin the conversation fairly normally and then try to sneak in their message in a subversive attempt to convert.

It seems Jasdip had one of these as a wait mate since the encounter ended with him giving her a card to their website.

I doubt if I'll run into him again.........unless his wife has a CT scan next week as well! If so, I'll make sure I shut him down if he attempts to discuss it again.

I was surprised when he started, but he talked, I heard but didn't listen. At the end, he did give me the religious card (I took it, but threw it out). His wife is terminal......bone cancer. She had just finished burying her brother who she took care of during his brain cancer, then she found out a few months ago of hers.

If he wanted to share his beliefs, and he believes the world will be paradise, with no sickness or cancer, far be it.

There were only the 2 of us, and it would have been far too obvious for me to sit elsewhere. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I'm a wuss sometimes, but I'm also aggressive and point blank. This time I wasn't.

I wasn't disagreeing with you, Gem...nor questioning your humanity. My comment about accommodating a needy talker was more of a generalized nature. Not directed at you in particular. I, too, strongly doubt that I'd have much patience for such a verbal onslaught and in my original post...I meant to compliment Jasdip for her patience and kind tolerance of that person. Whether I would have reacted the same way....or found some way to silence the gentleman...is a question unanswered.

In my younger days, I might have joined in his discussion out of curiosity and thirst for knowledge. In midlife...I probably would have silently moved from his area. Today...I doubt I'd do either. My curiosity level isn't as controlling as it once was and my personal religious belief...perhaps best described as being a Christian Buddhist...is a tad odd by most people's definition. But it's deeply ingrained and suits me. The one attribute that has grown over all these years is "patience" and I find today's living demands it more and more whether it's to suit me or someone else. I hope that I would use it if I was in such a situation. No criticism from me. Just my own personal observation.

I think I would have 'received' an urgent text that required an immediate, and private, 'phone call'. Or, "oh, look, it's noon. I promised to call my daughter and give her an update." Then I would have left the room. I don't care to be ministered to, but I try not to be rude, either. The times I've spent waiting in hospitals, it usually isn't necessary to stay in one place the whole time. Ours have beepers that let you know your presence is needed.

I only know one religion that goes around with cards or pamphlets and tries to convert you over to their way. We were only in our new built house a few weeks when they came knocking. Without being rude, they were told not to come back.

Years ago they came to my door with the little kids that they haul around with them. The adults were two older women. I came to the door, but only opened the big door and still had the screen door closed. I knew who they were as soon as I saw them. They started giving me the info, and I told them I was not interested. The one women grabbed for the screen door handle to let herself in. Then my German Shepard came closer and looked right at her. She changed her mind very quickly. With that she just looked at me and I said, that`s right, I`m not interested and don`t come back.

"I only know one religion that goes around with cards or pamphlets and tries to convert you over to their way."

Many (but not all) Christian denominations have missionary programs and "community outreach", it's hardly restricted to just one. Unless the just one you had in mind was "Christian Denominations". Many inner city soup kitchens are run by evangelical sects and have a religious aspect to the program - you
need to listen to the sermon first if you want to eat. The Mormon church has a very active program with missionaries both here and abroad. Yes, there are the door to door (is this still done) and shopping center types too.

I don't think the defining feature here is whether the individual had cards and pamphlets. I think the discussion is about proselytizing, and in an inappropriate setting.

Jasdip, I think you were gracious to listen. It would depend on my
mood, or how worried I was about the person for whom I was waiting. Both
my parents have had health issues in the last few years, and I've spent
a lot of time in hospitals and doctors' offices. If there is another person in the waiting area, I usually smile and
ask, "How are you today?" If it's jam-packed, I'll sit down and open my book, maybe smiling at those in the vicinity--I find that folks usually don't want to have a conversation when everyone else in the room can hear.

If someone responds and wants to talk,
I'll listen, even if it's a discussion of religion. At my age he isn't going to convert me, and I will probably never see him again,
so unless he is insulting or abusive, or sharing TMI, I'll listen. (I'd rather not hear about some man's prostate symptoms, and in the near future I might pass on a political discussion. ;)

We live in a small community, so I also invite the visiting
witnesses in, if I'm not busy or ill. I know members of most of the churches in the area,
and if I help them to fulfill their duty, what does it hurt? They
aren't going to convert me, either, but I'm hoping it will give us both
good Karma, good vibes, a neighborly feeling--whatever you want to call
it. If the sight of them made me angry or resentful, then I wouldn't let
them in; I'd politely tell them, "No thank you."

If anyone doesn't want
to hear another person's troubles, health issues, religious views,
etc., of course it's his/her right not to participate in a conversation,
and I would hope that the other person would be polite enough not to force the
issue.

OT--

I once had a lady--a
stranger--tell me the whole story of her son's death and funeral, while
we were standing in a check-out line at a store. Before she left I gave
her a hug, and told her I hoped she would find peace.

I recently
accompanied a friend to the office of a doctor who practices at the
Cleveland Clinic--the opposite end of the state from where I live. A
woman who was waiting for her mother started telling me about her
father's health problems. I could empathize because I'd been through the
same thing with my father. She'd heard my friend tell the receptionist
that we'd driven for hours, and asked where we lived. The woman had been
raised in a community 20 minutes from my home! The conversation was a
pleasant way to pass the time, and if it helped her, great. It cost me nothing.

jasdip, I understand your plight. I was similarly accosted recently too. But my aggressor was a Trump advocate.

At a car cruise in September, I was sitting on my walker next to our show car, 1979 'Donna' Pacer. I cannot walk the area of show cars, so that is where I stay. This man came up to me and immediately started to preach the virtues of Donald Trump. He went on and on giving me no chance for rebuttal for a good 20 minutes. All the while, I couldn't help but notice that..... his fly was open. I decided that his head was up his a--- and that is where all that garbage was coming from.

Anne_ct, I'm with you on the book, but I learned I needed to always carry 'work' when I was on an airplane or faced a potentially long wait somewhere. Even if it wasn't really 'work' I needed to do, it was something that looked like it, and I could whip it out and use the excuse I really needed to prepare for a meeting or something. Worked every time.

Jasdip, it's always good to err on the side of kindness. I sometimes can't think quick on my feet.

i just don't like the fact that you too were there under stressful conditions and you didn't need this at this point.

My good friend is a Mormon and she told me that one of her friends was out knocking on doors and got the surprise of his life when a woman answered completely naked! Haha haha just makes me laugh to think about what his face must have looked like.

I have had my share of religious zealots to deal with, but working in dog rescue, you have no idea how many people - complete strangers - want to tell you long, boring stories about their dogs, or even worse, some horrible fate that some dog met somewhere. I just want to stand up and say, 'I don't care. I don't want to hear your story." Boorish behavior is everywhere.

Is that boorish? I'd like to think 'dog people' would like to share their common bond by sharing stories.

I like hearing about dogs and the stuff they do. I guess I'd really like a guideline then, because I'm always willing to throw down a dog experience if the subject comes up.