While it is certainly true that in many communities, only the bridal party and close family are included in the rehearsal dinner, in others, it is customary to invite people who have traveled from out of town. It is in mine. We call the dinner the night before a "rehearsal dinner," but it rarely has anything to do with a rehearsal. It's usually a much more casual event with everyone who traveled from out of town and usually local family (because many of the out of town guests are family, too)and also very close local friends who helped in major ways (hosting a shower, for example). Because the tone is so different, even if it's almost the whole group, it doesn't feel like two weddings.

As you point out, in a destination wedding, everyone has traveled. And you are talking about international travel. So unless you mean something like 25 miles across the Canadian or Mexican border, your guests are going to be spending some major money and time to attend this wedding. I have to admit that if I were one of your guests and you felt I was inner-circle enough to ask me to go to that much trouble and expense from my end but not inner-circle enough to include me for a meal the night before, I'd find it really strange and frankly rather inhospitable.

Furthermore, you say that "of the 70 or some coming to the wedding, many of which includes the bridal party and relatives, I'd hate to leave out people and have them feel excluded." So how many are you figuring on not including? If you have 70 total and include 45 and exclude 35 the night before, you really have an A and B list situation, in my opinion. I would include everyone even if it were 10 and 60, not 45 and 35, but definitely in the latter situation. I mean, you say you don't want them to "feel excluded" -- well, they ARE being excluded. I don't think you can have it both ways, and you certainly can't prevent them from feeling what they will feel.

Now, your group may find the concept of anyone other than the bridal party being at the rehearsal dinner so foreign that they would be surprised if they were included (although the fact that you are worrying about this makes me suspect that that isn't so certainly the case). Plus, as you note, some may not even be there yet even if they do know they are invited to the rehearsal dinner, too.

As to the liquor, I wouldn't do anything like tickets or a cash bar. Provide only what you can afford and want to provide, but whatever you provide, host with an open hand. Bottles of wine or pitchers of beer or lemonade on the tables is perfectly fine -- you absolutely don't have to have a full bar.