I've been told ZD just isn't a California girl. Unfortunately, I got that advice AFTER I planted mine. It's the only plant with powdery mildew in my garden right now. Not a lot - and it has some scattered blooms now too - but enough to remind me that this isn't its favorite place. Some springs it manages to develop PM, rust and a scattering of blackspot all at once. So, it's not only you who can't get it to be healthy. Why do I still have it? I'm lazy about removing big roses, and it still produces a nice, occasionally spectacular, display every spring (if you don't demand perfect foliage). I wouldn't put Mme Caroline Testout (CL) in any place that I had to walk through or train those incredibly thorny canes. We grow it in the cemetery as a big arching bush, and still hate getting near it for its infrequent pruning. We don't get a lot of repeat on it, either. What about training a pillar rose? I know that not everybody will agree, but Mme Isaac Perrier stays quite healthy in the Sacramento cemetery and reblooms well, too - and is incredibly fragrant. I have a friend who is growing it on a trellis on his house, and it produces ten foot canes when trained up. He also has Gertrude Jekyll on a trellis, another lanky large plant with deep pink, fragrant flwers that I think does better either whacked hard or pillared/trellised. If you have room, you could put another small shrubby repeat blooming rose at the base, the way that Paul Zimmerman recommends on his video. Pillared and climbing roses often are bare on the bottom third or half of an arbor. Many climbers are really too big for the usual garden arbor. I have 8' tall ones with a five foot opening, and three foot sides. They were considered the "big arbors" when I bought them but are overwhelmed by most climbing roses. That's another reason to consider a pillar rose. Anita

I'm with Kevin, above. Stone slab countertops aren't going away, if for no other reason than that they can be more economical than laminate or tile. A good tile-setter here in LA will charge $125/linear foot or more for installation. If you shop right, you can find prefab 8' long granite countertops for as little as $150, with installation and minor fabrication for a few hundred dollars more. It won't be the finest workmanship at that price, but still, you can get a basic 8' countertop with 4" backplash for $600 or less, installed, while the tile-setter's labor alone will be twice that, without adding in the cost of tile, mortar, grout or hardibacker. Unless you're buying prefab laminate counters at the big box store, toting them home yourself, and doing your own templating, cutting, and installation, you'll be hard put to match the price of those prefab stone counters. Special-order laminate costs about twice as much as prefab stone. So much for "In depth" reporting at CNN.

I have never been to this forum before, I usually hang out in the garden areas but I needed to get some relief this morning. This post has helped me just to break down and let all that 'strength' and pain go. I do not wish to take away from the purpose of this thread but I would like to share my story with someone. It has been about a month or a little more since we lost Fred; Fred was a beagle that we adopted from a couple who left him in a crate almost 24/7; he was about 2 years old when he was sent to us.... that was 15 years ago. In that time , I have lost my two shepherd mix girls at 15 and 14 years old.... I have taken in three more pups as they passed my way in need... but Fred was special. Independent, never needing attention and so appreciative when he got it. About 6 months ago , he went blind and my husband thought it was best to help him cross over, I disagreed. I told him that if that were the case, I would know but Fred seemed to be adjusting well and he did...... most times, you could not tell he was blind to watch him. Physically , he was still pretty active, his teeth were getting pretty bad but the vet said none were in need of removal YET.... Long story short, I made the decision that the time had truly come about a month ago because it seemed that everything that moved began to startle him and he seemed to be in constant fear and that was not the purpose of adopting him; it was to give him love, freedom and a carefree life......he had that. That morning, I told him how much I loved him and we spent an hour or more just cuddling...I explained that I was ready to let him go and I knew he was ready ..... I had contacted my vet and we were to be there at 3 pm; at 1 pm, I went to get him and spend just a few more special moments and I found him in his bed; he had taken the journey on his own after receiving my permission to give up..... he now sleeps under a newly planted magnolia (in his honor) with a beautiful marble head stone that has his picture on it....and I spend some very nice quiet times there just as we did together for so many years..... Thank you all for letting me share this here and please know that your thread has helped me get through yet another day without Fred...

Ima! You gotta get busy, girl! Introspection is not an occupation for sad times; it'll get you bogged down every time, & that's when we make disastrous mistakes. *Obligate* yourself to do something; it's too easy to dwell on sad feelings & become immobilized if you don't "have to" do...whatever it is. When I went through a break-up many years ago, I decided to take Jazzercise. It worked great! as long as I wasn't moping when it was time for me to drive to the rec center. The only way I could make myself participate when I felt mopey (which is when we *most* need physical activity & other people) was to sign up to lead a Jazzercise class at church. I knew all those women were depending on me, & I went to every class. Please don't focus too much on your grandson's seeming lack of interest; he's very very young, & the young can move on much faster than we can. They have to, just to keep up with themselves, because they themselves are changing every day. Remember when you were a little girl & "back-to-school" shopping every September meant new dresses & shoes & a winter coat because the old ones were too little? I remember feeling sorry for my aunts & my mother because they stayed the same & never got a new dress or a new coat. Children shoot through time at warp speed, changing & adapting & getting "new clothes" as a matter of course, & we...keep climbing into the same clothes for a much longer time. & be careful that you don't talk to him because *you* need to talk. Talk to anybody else. Talk to everybody else. Talk here. Talk to the moon: a woman told me that she was broken-hearted when her adolescent son went to live with his father; she said she climbed onto the backyard trampoline the night her son left & "squalled & bawled & snotted & hollered", & nobody but the moon saw or heard her. *but* this is my free advice (& worth every penny, but I've had a bit of experience & I've been through some experiences with friends): Stay away from that man. Stay away from thoughts that you "need" that man, that he would be any answer to any problem at all, that he would be helpful in any way. Write yourself 3 lists: a list of instances in which he's responded callously to your needs, instances of how he's been a stinker, played mind games, put anybody/everybody ahead of you, treated you high-handedly, etc, & look at those pages any time you want to pick up the phone. a list of how many times & to what extent you went all-out to make his life easier or happier, & look at those pages any time you want to pick up the phone. a list of how many times & to what extent he went all-out to make your life easier or happier, & look at that blank piece of paper any time you want to pick up the phone. I once had to get the oil changed in my car on a cold evening when I was exhausted & not feeling good, & I found myself thinking, "I wish I had a husband to do this for me". & then I remembered: I had had a husband, & he *never* had the oil changed for me!