Please tell your kids when they strike out on their own
10 years ago
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When your kid goes off to college...
Comments (37)Sue, Your response reminded me more of myself! I was constantly at odds with my parents - they thought I spent way too much time in front of the mirror working on my hair and only wanted to be with my friends. (Hey this was 1979, remember Farrah hair). I'll never forget the day they took me to college. My younger brother had a peewee football game and we couldn't leave until it was over. I was so pissed because I wasn't going to get there till very late afternoon - well after everyone else had moved into the dorm and I was furious that my parents just couldn't see how important this was to me - who cares about DB's football game? Geez! By the time we got there and they unpacked me, we weren't even speaking. It didn't help that all my roommates were sitting around smoking cigarettes and I hadn't told my parents I had signed up for the smoking dorm. I thought I would be insured of rooming with some cool girls if they smoked!! (remember this was 1979, and yes, they were right in my mind it was all about me, but my roomies were very cool and we had lots of fun :-) Long story short, our relationship improved dramatically with a little distance and me having a little more control over my life. So, look upon your kids' attitudes as their excitement of getting out on their own, not that they don't love or appreciate you. My senior is really looking forward to going off to college, and quite honestly, while I'll miss him, I'm looking forward to it too! My laundry, mess, crap laying around etc. went down dramatically with the exit of DS1, I'm almost giddy at only having to cleanup after one remaining DS once DS2 goes off to school. Of course, I have to admit, my kids don't go far to school - they live on campus but it's at Ohio State which is in Columbus - 5 miles from where we live. So while they're out of my hair, they still stop by or come home frequently. So I guess that's why I'm not too sad to have one gone and one out the door - they're just across town! :-)...See MoreWould you tell your kid you read her diary??
Comments (129)Mona and Deborah nailed it. You still haven't told your husband about her behavior with boys, have you? I don't know what the "sensitivity" is about not telling him, but your daughter's behavior trumps that. I cannot stress enough that he MUST know now. I don't care if he screams at the top of his lungs, hits his fist through a wall or throws something, he'll calm down and think rationally once he gets over the shock. lol If she were my daughter, she'd be grounded for the summer. I too had raging hormones at 12, and they were totally out of control. Thankfully I didn't have sex but I sure did like to kiss boys! All it took was for my dad finding me and a boy together at 12 years old kissing him. It scared the pee out of me! lol. Oh, he was mad alright but I changed right then and there. Shannon, you're trying too hard to make your daughter happy right now. Nix all suggestive clothing. It's time she dressed and behave like a young LADY. Tell her she will be greatly respected behaving like a lady instead of an "easy" girl. I think it would be fine if GIRLfriends came over to visit, chaperoned, and if she goes to a GIRLfriends house chaperoned with parents you approve of. I wouldn't allow her to walk anywhere. Or go shopping alone either. Someone needs to have the "Come to Jesus" talk with her ASAP or it will be way too late....See MoreWorking when school's out - what do your teens do?
Comments (5)The best answer probably is, "because it's illegal and I could get in trouble". If your state is like mine, kids have to be 13 to be left home alone. Of course, even at 13, it's not a really good idea on a regular basis. Unfortunately, teens without adequate supervision usually find a way to get into some sort of trouble sooner or later. And the homes where kids stay home unsupervised--at least in my neighborhood--seem to turn into the hangouts. I know a couple of mom's who would be very upset and disappointed if they knew exactly what was going on when their children were home alone. And I'm not talking about horrible kids. Even good ones at that age, don't have the sense to always do the right thing. I've actually seen a lot of women giving up their jobs (or rearranging their hours) so they're home during the hours when their teens are home. In some ways, parental supervision is even more vital when they're beginning to flex their wings, and learning to make decisions. Especially considering that teens brains aren't fully mature. Until they reach their mid-20's, they don't usually have the ability to make logical, well-thought out decisions--that's a medical fact. Teens are working on pure emotion--and you know how much trouble that can get one into You're definitely doing the right thing by seeing that she doesn't have too much time on her own, unsupervised. Even though she may complain now, you're the parent, and making sure she stays safe and healthy now will pay off in the longrun....See MoreWhat has your pet figured out on it's own?
Comments (84)I am so loving all the dog and cat stories. It is apparent that our animals enrich our lives in many ways. Here is another story about another Granddog. My younger daughter had 2 Beagles. While visiting at her house for a weekend some years ago, I stayed with the Beagles while Daughter went to a Doctors appointment. The dogs normal supper time is 4:00 she had told me, but Molly the oldest would try to tell me at about 3:30 that it is time to eat. Don't fall for her lies and just ignore her till it is 4 o'clock, she said. Sure enough about 3:30 Molly appeared in front of me as I was reading in a comfy chair. She did a little wiggle dance and then went to her empty bowl. I continued to read without looking up. Then Molly came back and did the wiggle dance and added 2 fast spinning circles for emphasis and then back to her empty bowl again. I continued reading. Molly then came back, repeated all the other moves and next grabbed my pant leg and shook my leg briskly. Now I burst out laughing. I couldn't ignore her any longer...See More
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rob333 (zone 7b)