My mother-in-law, who was a wonderful cook and baker, used to laugh about people complaining about a certain recipe she, or someone else shared being so bad.

She'd ask, for example, "did you use 2 cups of flour?"

"No, I think I used 2 1/2 cups." would be their reply.

"Well, did you use a whole stick of butter, softened and creamed?"

"I didn't have a whole stick of butter, so I used what I had, maybe a half stick."

And so on. This kind of thing happens all the time. Maybe you'll be able to laugh about it one of these days.

Sally

And the trouble is that it always comes back to you. "Oh, that was Colleen's recipe. Awful, wasn't it? I thought she was supposed to be a good cook."

Love it, Moosemac!

What do people think a recipe is??? I often use a recipe I've found as a general guide for my own inventiveness, a launching pad, or there will be a portion of the recipe that I need and I invent the rest, or I'll make the recipe more or less and change a few things, but I know what I'm doing! And when I speak of the original recipe, I say how I used it and what I changed. It is possible to change a baking recipe and still say it's a good recipe. Like if you add a flavoring, or pat down the cookies instead of making balls. If you pat them down and they're too dry or something, figure it's your own fault for making them flat! But how can anyone think butter is a good substitute for eggs? Even egg replacer isn't a good substitute for eggs!

I try to be nice, but I'd be sorely tempted to say that people who don't know the difference, who would put lipstick on their eyelids and mascara on their toenails, shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen.

Can I have the recipe? I pinky swear promise not to change it. It sounds dairy-free and I need good snacks for the grandson. He is allergic to dairy, epi-pen allergic, not just lactose intolerant.

I don't mind at all if anyone changes my recipes; I'm going to change theirs, after all. But when I change it, it ceases to be their recipe and becomes mine. When I'm questioned about someone's (mis)use of a recipe I provided, I always just say, "Oh, no, she must be confused. That's her recipe, not mine!"

I remember Chris Kimball giving an interview to the Washington Post where he bashed people for changing recipes. Huge pet peeve!

"When you write a recipe, what is the biggest problem you anticipate from the home cook?

Over half the time, people make substitutions. My favorite one was a guy doing grill-roasted prime rib, which was on a Weber with charcoal, kind of smoky. He sent back his comments: "The recipe was a disaster. It was 18 degrees out so I couldn't do it outside." So, he just took a $40 prime rib and broiled it. People view recipes as starting points -- rough concepts. They don't use recipes. That's what it's all about, really: figuring out what someone is going to do to your recipe and heading them off at the pass before they do it."

It seems to be human nature.

Colleen: I share your sentiments. I am on the side of not understanding people changing a recipe till they have tried the original first, then if you think you can improve, go for it. Just don't credit me with the finished product! And I would love the recipe and I wouldn't change a thing!

I don't mind people who know what they're doing changing the recipe, but it would help if they at least knew what they're doing and didn't make so many changes there's only two ingredients out of the original seven! The recipe is here on the forum somewhere but I'll repost it when I get home from work.

What's worse is being accused of leaving out something. This happened to me with a good friend who accused me of not giving her my complete recipe for Venetians (one of my go to Christmas cake recipes). I was hurt that she would think I would do that.

Or there's the friend who left it out accidentally (or the person typing it over did), and I called asking, "Aren't there supposed to be eggs in this? It needs glue," to which she responded, "Goodness! It needs four!" Actually, I think three would be sufficient, but what's an egg more or less between friends? :) It's no eggs that's the kicker. :)

It is maddening......if people like your dish enough that they request the recipe, why the heck would they go about changing it? It isn't the same as they liked to begin with, when all is said and done.

I think when you hand over your recipe, you no longer have control, and accepting that will give you peace of mind.

There's simply no use getting upset over actions you can neither predict, nor change.

At the end of the day, you can always make your dish, your way, anytime you like.

Good points in this thread! I haven't had too many bad experiences, I must have some good cooks in my life!

I wonder if that quote from Chris Kimball is what started ATK putting a half-page explanation on the ingredients and processes on every recipe that they publish in order to help prevent disastrous culinary modifications.

I think CI is just a food geek's magazine, read by people who love to learn about the process and not just the recipe.

I actually enjoyed Kimball's missives in each issue.

You're probably right, mimi! I think the introductions are my favorite part!

Have you ever read A History of Food in 100 Recipes ? Its full of pages of exposition for the historical and practical context of each recipe.

The last time I got a recipe from a friend it was for a salad dressing. She sent it to the bunch of us present for that meal. Personally, I thought it good, but way too sweet. So I've made it, leaving out the sugar or honey - much better that way, to me. I'd basically say, if asked, recipe inspired by so and so, but without sweetener.

That way, the friend gets credit, but they don't get the "blame" for it not being exact.

What I've learned is that I really don't want to share a recipe that someone in my real life will change and alter to the point where it is unrecognizable, so I don't share recipes, but I have found a solution.

I also don't want people to think something is *my* recipe...so when someone changes it, I won't be blamed for the bad (usually bad, anyway) results.

Can you hear it now? "Gosh, I got this from Sooz and I remember it being a lot better. I wonder if she gave me the wrong recipe?"

Instead, I say something like this: "Oh it's not really my recipe, I got it online, from allrecipes or one of those food websites, maybe Food Network. Just *Google* Chicken Marbella!"

This way, if they say the food sucks,or it's too dry, it's too wet, it's too sweet, it's not sweet enough, or it's icky, etc. --because they monkeyed with the recipe--the blame isn't laid at my feet, y'know?

Smiles,

Sooz

Being vague and pointing someone to the internet is a good idea. Frankly, that answer would be the truth for many things I make.

I found the recipe on X website, adjusted with a little of this and that and to tell you the truth, I don't even recall exactly what I did!

Have you ever read A History of Food in 100 Recipes ? Its full of pages of exposition for the historical and practical context of each recipe.

^^

No, and thank your for the link! I really love food history and can remember a time when I learned tomatoes aren't from Italy!

I have a fabulous dry rub recipe that calls for cardamon. Guests that I have had love it on ribs. One of my friends asked for the recipe so I gave it to her. One day I inquired if she had ever made the rub and she said yes but it did not taste the same as when you made it. So I ask did you follow the recipe, well not really, I did not put the cardamon in, it is too expensive. Well there you go.

I haven't really shared many recipes as I don't really have any I've made up. I'll share a recipe that I got from somewhere such as a cook book or the internet. I haven't had the experience of eating something someone has made from a recipe I've shared. Maybe I'm lucky in that.

I took Cooks Illustrated for a couple of years, and I don't think I ever made it through one of Chris Kimball's opening commentaries.

That book on the history of recipes does sound interesting, though.

Sally

Since I many times tweak other's recipes I can't say it's exactly fair to expect others not to do it with mine. However, I don't like it when someone isn't honest about a recipe they share with me. I'd rather they not divulge the recipe at all rather than to edit it so that it won't come out as good as when they make it. I will usually follow a recipe exactly the first time and if it's really good I'll stick with it. But there are some that I might later on change, add or delete something, especially if it doesn't taste like what they made.

So I ask did you follow the recipe, well not really, I did not put the cardamon in, it is too expensive. Well there you go.

^^

Face-palm plant! I'm going to steal your cardamom idea and add it to my rub ;-)

My mother was notorious for leaving things out of recipes. As a result we her children do not have copies of the "treasures" as she passed and never corrected the recipes she gave us with things missing . . .but having been in the kitchen often with her I made note of extras and wrote my own notes, older sister did the same and we compared the additional information. Funny thing about this is that her circle of friends after her passing commented "Oh, at least Bettie gave you the real recipe" we had to say no but we figured it out. They had stopped asking for her recipes for the church cookbook as most often they didn't turn out right because she left stuff out.

I certainly endorse changing recipes to suite your taste, but always make my 1st version according to the recipe shared to she how it turns out when I make it . . .and just in case it was one of those folks who leave stuff out . . .

It boggles my mind that someone would intentionally leave something out of a recipe they shared just so it wouldn't turn out. Put simply, that's just mean spirited. Why not just say no, so to speak, when someone asks for your recipe?

Sally

I wouldn't assume leaving out an ingredient or subbing something in is done maliciously in order to sabotage. I think many people THINK they can cook, and THINK they can bake, and THINK they can see around corners, when really, they've grossly overestimated their abilities.

This is why I don't get the anger when someone comes back to you and says your recipe didn't work. Are they being vindictive? Not sure, and not my fault if they are. Are they clueless in the kitchen? Most likely, and still, I don't see that as a reflection on me.

My self-worth is not wrapped around how well someone else makes my recipes or alters it once it leaves my hands. Not one iota.

I think you misunderstand if you think I'm angry, mimipadv. If I was angry I'd have used this emoticon in the title:

>:-(

I'm more nonplussed than anything.

colleenoz

I think you misunderstand if you think I'm angry, mimipadv. If I was angry I'd have used this emoticon in the title:

>:-(

I'm more nonplussed than anything.

^^

Got it. I'm nonplussed, too!

---> ;-)

I think there are also people who are a little dim about recipes, especially if they are good intuitive cooks. My mother has done that to me once or twice, saying it was this or that recipe in one of her books, but when I look at the recipe, it's not what she makes. It'll be a recipe that she opens before making it, there's something in there that guides the cook, but even when questioned, because she's made it so often it's automatic, she won't remember that she always puts the zest of a whole orange in there, or two big slugs of sherry, or something like that. Sometimes she has to make it again to figure it out. :)

Here's the story on giving recipes:
I didn't have potatoes, so I substituted rice.
I didn't have paprika, so I used another spice.
I didn't have tomato sauce, I used tomato paste...
A whole can, not a half can... I don't believe in waste.
A friend gave me the recipe, she said you couldn't beat it,
There must have been something wrong with her, I couldn't even EAT it!

Told my cousin's wife how to make the EZ bars I often made (aka 7 layer, Hello Dolly or other names) and people loved. Really there's not much that is easier, butter, crumbs, nuts, chips, SC milk, (you know the routine) and I don't know how she messed it up. It's really foolproof (but I guess she's Fool 2.0 alpha edition, complete with bugs). Then of course she insisted I didn't give her the recipe. I'm guessing she stirred everything up or something. Last time I gave her a recipe. But then, this is a woman who cooked a ham in the plastic wrapper. It was like mozzarella cheese pulling it off that poor piggie.

Recipes are often guidelines but sometimes baking is more precise. I believe in sharing recipes, but not with some people anymore.