I think it's common. It's a huge undertaking that requires so many resources - besides financial. It drains you mentally, physically if you do any work yourself and emotionally because you have so much invested (time and all the other things above). It will get better.

As for the windows in the kitchen - one of my regrets when we built was that my windows were too small. Bugged me for a long time. So I am jealous of yours and your light filled description! Hahaha!

No house is perfect and after we built the office space I had wanted yes it feels awkward and wasted but it is what it is. I don't use it as in sit there but it does house our office stuff. I think if you built again and tweaked what you didn't love you'd still end up with areas that you'd want to change a little bit. It's the nature of the beast. So you may have things you love about your new home and I am sure there are plenty but there may also be some things you think meh, I'd not do that again. It's all apart of the package.

You are on the home stretch - it's almost time to celebrate!

We're in a very similar position, same type of setting, views, detached garage, big windows, no uppers - biggest difference is we do have a ton of storage - but the expense??? Crazy. Can't think about it, can't let my mind go there. Not sure what phase of life you're in but my biggest fear is that we're doing this all backwards. We're at the stage of life where my friends are buying condos in the city, we bought acreage in the country and plan to get animals :-/

You made the big decisions you made for a reason and surely they were not done without thought. Trust that. don't fret the paint, tile etc - that will all come together and it;s small stuff. The big picture is you made choices based on your needs/wants/lifestyle - no one else has your perspective.

Is this normal?

Yes. And common. I don't think I ever met people who DIDN'T, at some point during their build or major remodel, wonder if they should have just stood pat. It will pass.

The only way to learn how to design perfect houses is to design a lot of houses. Unfortunately, only professional designers have that opportunity so its natural for a homeowner to second guess their decisions. You don't have the luxury of moving on and using what you learned for the next house.

Since you are not the same person who made all those decisions, don't be shy about criticizing the decision maker. Give him a name like "Larry". Then you can say, "Larry made the halls too big." Its OK because you fired Larry; he's gone. Now you can start trying to figure out how to fix his mistakes.

I was hired to remodel a house I designed 30 year ago. I decided to call the original designer "Bob". Bob made some really bad mistakes but since I'm a much better designer I was able to fix them.

With proper lighting, wide hallways are good for art and photo galleries.

I think it is very common. The stress of a new build makes a lot of people go temporarily nutters even under the best of circumstances. Your house sounds lovely. Beautiful large hallways are, well....beautiful. Embrace them as it is something that makes your home unique. Like JDS said - make them a focal point - nice art gallery, nice bookshelves. As long as we're not talking 1000 square feet of hallways in a 1300 square foot house, you can make them look beautiful and thoughtful.

Where I live, new builds rarely appraise for the full cost of construction. You have to go into knowing that you are paying a premium - but you're also getting totally new everything too.

You're getting toward the end and you're tired. Been there. I think that's the point I went temporarily nutso too. It passes. :)

Thank you all! I am glad to hear it is normal.

Autumn, thank you for the advice. I am sure you are loving your cabinet storage even if you regret the windows a bit. Don't remind me about awkward office spaces! Ours is 8x8. Ridiculous!

DLM, oh the expense! My husband last night said he added up all the expenses ( including things we added along the way, purchased on our own, etc.), and I told him I didn't want to hear it. He laughed and started to continue. I told him...I am completely serious, do not not ever tell me that number. You are wise though, this was a thought out (overly so) process, and everything was done for a reason.

Ichabod, thank you! I feel like most people I talk to in person say they love everything they have done and wouldn't change a thing! I don't believe them!

JDS, I am laughing at your story. I can just imagine the homeowners complaining about their house, and you having to confess... Larry has definitely been fired. It happened after he didn't put a coat closet in because he thought the kids would just put stuff away in their rooms. What an idiot.

Patrice, you have summed it up well. I am going nuts! Part of it is we are living on the property, overanalyzing everything. I hope it will turn out as lovely as you think it sounds. Thank you for the kind words.

Yeah you can't multi-purpose a 'nook' with no doors that has all of our stuff in it - what was I thinking? OH - yeah - I was thinking lets get this show on the road before winter hits (dumb dumb dumb).

Seriously-love everything? I can't even comprehend that and I don't believe them either - architect designed or not. It's hard to know how you will live in it when it's on paper and you think you will do this or that. You can get close but perfection - nah.

Just be sure you don't eat too much junk during this phase because then you will be extra frustrated that you have to work harder to get it off after you move in....

I'm an artist. I start every drawing I do loving my idea and thinking it's going to turn out great. Somewhere in the middle of the drawing, I'm convinced that it's the worst piece of sh...garbage I've ever produced. The colors all wrong. The light is all wrong. The layout of the items are all wrong. (I'm a still life artist). I should have drawn the pot this way, instead of that way.

As I continue to work on the drawing, it then starts to get better in my mind until I decide at the end that it wasn't as bad as I thought and that maybe it's actually pretty darn good. Is it perfect? Not by a long shot, but it's as good as I knew how to do at that moment and once I get it framed up, it looks even better.

I imagine it's the same with building a house.

Cas...I know exactly what you are saying. Getting real here. We just sold our house for less than what we built it for and will build another for more than it will probably appraise for...duh. The only saving grace was that we didn't pay a realtor.

it kind of makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. dh has a dream of retiring on the lake. And I want him to have his dream. Like DLM, most of our counterparts our downsizing. I'm afraid something will happen to him and I will be knocking around in this (too?) big house by myself after my boys are gone.

Lots of second guessing here too, so I understand.

your house sounds beautiful. Please post a picture of it. And please enjoy it.

i guess we just have to take it one day at a time and have faith. And remember that it's all just "stuff".

There is no such thing as perfection in this world. Human beings are not perfect, sites are not perfect, materials can be flawed, designs have mistakes. And you have to compromise. Then, this whole cavalcade of stressful drama costs you your life savings.

That's just the way it is-- inherently crazy. In the end, you will finish, furnish, and start rebuilding your savings. The pain will fade, and the things that seem wrong won't bother you much anymore. That's when you know you've got your perspective back, and your peace of mind.

Gee, I wish my BR hall was six inches *wider*! (And who CARES what 'some people' think?)

Our kitchen has a 6-foot wide (7-foot high) archway window over the sink. Yes, there are fewer upper cabinets, but that window, and the ceiling vault to accommodate it, *make* the room. (Mistake not to add six inches to area beween fridge and island.)

Some people find 15 French doors 'silly'. (Mistake to make so many operable though.)

Some people think a 14 X 16 foyer is too big in a 3000 sq ft house.

Some people think it's ridiculous to put a 10/12 roof and full-height attic on a one-floor home -- as well as build a finished stairway to the attic. (We think it made our house fit into its established neighborhood, and it allows another owner to have a second story by adding dormers.)

Who would build 3000 sq ft on an acre+ lot zoned for twice that?

Who would pay over market for a lot in the *right* location, in the *right* town, near all the things we need?

Who would build a home they are probably going to age out of in twenty years?

Who wouldn't build a three or four car garage in this day and age?

Everyone makes some mistakes. We built on the old basement of the teardown and added some crawls). We *should* have dug down for that gigantic lower level that 'some people' want. We don't want one, but the house will be seen to lack it when we sell. That wasn't smart.

Worst of all, I didn't discover this forum until after we built! WAH!

chisue I had no idea how many similar things we did and for all the same reasons! Steep roof pitch with no second floor - check. Finished staircase to unfinished full height and beyond attic - check. Finished staircase to unfinished basement - check. Pay over market for acreage near town and conveniences but still private and rural in feel - check. We will age out of our home but I hope we get 20+ years - check. Not sure yet what I'll consider a mistake as we are still building but certainly there will be a few 'if only' moments.

Same for the age out in 20+ years. Others have admitted it.

now I feel better.

Thank you all again. I will update when we are moved in and post some pictures. It is true I made what I thought was the best decision at the time; a nice reminder of that fact. We are happy here in a one bathroom, crumbling bungalow, so I'm sure we will be happy in the new house. Can't wait to be on the other side, and as scone says, to "finish, furnish, and rebuild".

I've gotten to the point where a lot of this just doesn't matter. In most cases you live with it at the end of the day as there are more important things to attend to.

We just had our first oh no what where we thinking!! with our wood stain color. I quickly let it go as I had a serious reality check the other week. A family friend lost her battle to cancer after so much pain and suffering over the last five years and left behind a young family. I had some serious guilt about building this house after that. At this point I'm so grateful for what I have and it's now all about moving in and holding my family close.

No regrets

Our first house was a quintessential starter home, 4 rooms and a rock foundation basement. We redecorated the walls on that house several times. Never did get the results we wanted.

We were able to buy a split entry before it was built many years ago. The basic floor plan was set, but there were several things we changed. We had our own appliances, so traded that cost for a built in pantry in the kitchen. There was a void in the center of the house(mechanical stacks/etc) that was large enough for a linen closet(12" wide door, 18" square shelves).

We made some other minor changes and found there was not enough storage space even with all the extra closet/storage space.

Two years later, I changed the exterior color, we picked the original and did not like it once it was on. I also changed the family room bookcases and wall treatment as well as the interior colors---all which we originally selected.

Had similar issues with our third.

We got number four right(our current Retire/Expire) home. As far as colors/etc. That is, after painting every interior surface at least twice(only once for the kitchen cabs---so far). And not enough windows, no reading room, and am changing the floor in the back hall for the third time.

Is your situation normal? Unfortunately, yes. Or, fortunately yes, since you are getting a brand new lovely home. That you can adapt to living in(as you soak in those excellent views) and plan ways to change the storage.

Yes, I can empathize. And apparently we all have some measure of regrets, but they're minor in the scheme of things as whaas noted.

Wide hallways: wheelchair accessible. Hang art on the walls, and people can step back and appreciate your choices. Double-wide hallways? -- wheelchair races!

I'm realizing my garage is too small. Between contracting out for the logs and construction, I had to get a new car. Traded in the Subaru Forester for a Hyundai Santa Fe, without taking into account the length of the new vehicle. It fits, but the workbench I wanted at the far end of the garage -- won't.

I agree with about having regrets. Especially on cost. We basically spared no expense and I'm wondering if it was worth it.

after we built the office space I had wanted yes it feels awkward and wasted but it is what it is.

Oh, I doubt it's wasted, even if you don't use it frequently. With more and more people working from home, a home office is becoming more and more popular -- and even if you don't use it today, your needs may change tomorrow, or you may sell and the new buyer may want an office.

I'm an artist. I start every drawing I do loving my idea and thinking
it's going to turn out great. Somewhere in the middle of the drawing,
I'm convinced that it's the worst piece of sh...garbage I've ever
produced. The colors all wrong. The light is all wrong. The layout of
the items are all wrong. (I'm a still life artist). I should have drawn
the pot this way, instead of that way.

As I continue to work on the drawing, it then starts to get better in
my mind until I decide at the end that it wasn't as bad as I thought
and that maybe it's actually pretty darn good. Is it perfect? Not by a
long shot, but it's as good as I knew how to do at that moment and once I
get it framed up, it looks even better.

I can relate to this both in my classroom and in my writing. More than once I've started with a lesson plan idea /piece of writing that I thought would be wonderful /horrible, and it's turned out the other way.

With a house, the thing is, if you've started with a good, solid plan, you're going to end with a good, solid project.

What about the extra wide hallways?

I get the point -- extra width eats up your square footage and money, so you're wondering if you've squandered your resources. But I love the idea of bookcases in a hallway; they're a great way to create large amounts of storage with a scant 1' of width. Create some closed storage with cabinets underneath at least some, vary your depth a bit, include some color to the back, and you'll really have something! Don't skimp on your lighting; if you're using these wide hallways as "a library", you want to be able to see your books.

Yes, I can empathize. And apparently we all have some measure of
regrets, but they're minor in the scheme of things as whaas noted.

Yeah, no house is ever going to be perfect, so work on what's possible and let the rest go.

The cost thing is really kind of shocking.

We've been here a year now. I would make all different selections if I were doing it today lol. But really, it's fine.

I thought I had time before we needed an accessible guest bathroom. Nope. We need it now. The in-laws will be staying for a few months and one of them has taken a turn. You just never know. I should have considered that but we thought there was 10 years. Nope.

I thought I would be carried out of here in a pine box. Now not so sure. We are talking about being here 10 or 15 years then moving on. Be careful of thinking "it's our forever home so I don't need to put in a kitchen because we don't cook." It just might not be.

I am, what feels like, 7 years into a build. (really only 9 months from "real" construction - but it's EXHAUSTING. We're the GC, but we've hired a site super / GC to handle things. So far - we just have issues EVERY FREAKING DAY.

We're doing "different" construction - so when something is amiss - it causes a chain of issues. Weld embedments off, steel guys can't set the bar joists, panel manufacturer needs to find a solution and send to their engineer to sign off, then OUR engineer needs to sign off on the structural change, THEN the change has to be implemented and the steel guys can start back up.

Ordering caulk (of course it's not "standard") so that means internet shopping and 3 quotes.

Painter quotes came in $25K, $55K and budgetary (finally) $12K - Budget: $20K.... STRESS!

I just keep telling myself that this is a TEMPORARY state and that you just have to tackle things one at a time. And everything will free up - time. money, energy, normalcy. This too shall pass...

mrspete-I regret that it doesn't have a door and as such cannot be multi-purposed. It's neither comfortable or quiet to work from home. We never ever sit there. I do have magnet boards hung with all of the current happenings so I can keep track of my kids schedules though. And the printer sits there. Useful yes, could it be better oh yes tons better.

jannicone - yeah after our paint quotes guess who became the painter? Yep, me. Don't mind a room at a time but a whole house in crunch time - holy cow! My hand has un-cramped from the paintbrush position. I am happy it wasn't permanent.

When I was younger and would complain to her about something she did when raising my sisters and me, she would remind me, "I did the best job I knew how to do at the time with the knowledge I had at the time. Would I do some things differently now? Yes, but I don't regret the job I did either."

Personally I think my mother did a dang good job.

My mother was a wise, wise woman. I miss her dearly but her words don't only work for raising children but for doing anything you attempt in life, including building a house.

Are YOU the one unhappy or only because other people are questioning your choices? Who the heck did you build this house for? Not "other people"! Let them build their own houses!

My parents custom built a home and I've remodeled multiple times. Are there regrets? Always! But many of our decision were made due to running low on money - couldn't really make a different one.

This past spring, I redid my kitchen. It was finished (sort of) the day before I left for a month on vacation, I had taken pictures before I left, and I obsessed over them while I was gone and by the time I got home, was sure the entire thing had been a disaster - SO many mistakes.

Then I walked into my kitchen that night, sick as a dog after a 2 day drive (thank God my 14 yr old grandson agreed to drive with me - helped with dogs and luggage). I looked at my kitchen and it looked completely different than it had appeared in the pictures. It was GORGEOUS and I LOVED it!

I think I was so overwhelmed by all the various decisions that by the end, I was overthinking everything and second guessing myself to death. It's very common, and I knew that, but I still fell victim to it myself.

Is my kitchen perfect? No, but then I'm not either. Like chartist's mother, I did the best I knew how to do with the knowledge I had at the time...and the resources. Can one really do anymore than that?

I can relate so well. Not building-but majorly, majorly remodeling plus adding..the house was gutted to the studs..it's like building I guess but sillier and more complicated..

I can't believe we put 2 years of our life into this thing. I can't believe we went for that gut and all..I will never, never even count all the numbers we spent, including two mortgages and a rental, yes? together-and if I will- I will never tell anybody the truth, and will try to forget it myself. I feel it's the worst money spent in my life..that just giving this money away to all the people who might need it, would make me so much happier.

At certain stage, I wanted to blow up the house. I'm serious, lol. Actually wanted to blow up both of them-the one we still live in, and the one that's being remodeled-and just go somewhere far, far away from this monument to my stupidity.

I can't tell you how many mistakes we've made. Well our GC too, lol. But us! One of the windows looks like a prison one because DH insisted the grids should be proportional not to the window itself, but to the window next to it, and I couldn't convince him. Well now he agrees))

The bathroom got so complicated they screw up the framing in every side and direction possible. Instead of redoing it from the beginning, they bought us another tub-smaller so it would fit lol. They tried to keep to the original idea-but it reminds me of a white and shiny coffin:)

The fireplace is dangerously close to look like a s..tshow- infuriating, especially after we made a separate contract, to change the fireplace.

Half backyard died or started looking real sad 'cause no water in the house for months, and hard as hell to water going back and forth 50 times with a bucket, and there is drought here in So Cal, so no, not enough.

The amount of materials that got wasted..I don't want to go there even.

The amount of time spent on all this is beyond everything I imagined going into this remodel.

And yes, I found these forums only when all this craziness was slowly coming to its end:)

Yep..the worst time is definitely close to the end of the build. We're almost done..I think March to June were the worst. I snapped on our GC! Me! I never snap on people!

Unless they're family lol.

And you feel like he's a family already. Or at least somebody really close to you. Like a cell mate))))

It too shall pass.

Life will find a way. As it always does. And some things you-and me-we'll forget them. And some will stop bothering us. And some we'll redo or start to do later. And some will be told as a joke to friends and to family.

This idiocy will turn out to be the place where we live. It will always have the idiotic part about it, but we'll stop being so dead serious and sad about it. We'll just continue with our lives. And hopefully-we'll enjoy sometimes too.

Because there is the reason for this idiotic house. It was there when we went after it. It still hides there:) And each time I enter it, mad as Witch of West-it winks at me, and I become nicer:)

So many thoughtful and kind responses! The home as a metaphor for life. Maybe I should just put a nice sign out front that says "Welcome. We did the best we could". :)

If the house is in the Traverse City area, yes you made a mistake and accept my lowball offer to buy it. If not, live in the house for ten years, and then you will find out.